I Took A Risk, I Hope It Works Out... Now I Need To Set Some Goals

[Data]

Last week I received a job offer to be a software developer in Hertfordshire, starting Monday (3rd December). I had 15 interviews, so it was a relief to finally get an offer!

Then on Friday I had another job offer! This was based in Yorkshire. They wanted to know what I'd been offered before, and when I told them, they agreed to match the salary. The only thing is, they've not confirmed it by email or in writing yet, its just verbal. But I took a big risk and accepted the second job and told the first people that I'm not going to work for them after all.

It was a close decision. Both jobs are in software development, which is what I really want to do - I've been programming computers for years at university. Both of them are around the same distance away - 2.5 hours drive (the Yorks one is slightly further away). Both have good fringe benefits - BUPA, life assurance, critical illness cover, and reasonable holidays and flexible working hours.

Both were the same salary, but what was on the table is a good salary for Yorkshire, whereas its not so good in Hertfordshire, where the cost of living is higher - property prices are double. That was the biggest factor in the decision.

Also, the Herts people made me feel a bit uncomfortable. He said that he wanted me to give him an honest answer when he asked me if I could learn all the things I needed to know in the job quickly. That put me under pressure. The Yorkshire people were lovely. They said some really nice things about me in the feedback, and flattery gets you everywhere!

I've made my decision now and there is no going back. The reason why the Yorkshire people couldn't confirm the offer immediately by email is that they are owned by a huge international corporation, who insists that job offers have to go through their bureocracy first. I just hope and pray that next week it comes through. I've been reassured by the employers and the recruitment agent that its all been agreed and it will definitely happen.

The other thing is that the Yorkshire job doesn't start until January 2nd. I signed off Jobseekers Allowance, but I wasn't getting any money anyway (just travel expenses back and state pension credits) since I have about a years salary in savings. So I am twiddling my thumbs for the next month. I am determined not to waste the time though. I could try and get some temporary work, e.g. factory or warehouse... but that might be difficult as I am only going to be around for a few weeks and I could waste a lot of time just looking for work.

The other option is to think of some goals I can achieve around my house, and there are plenty of those... but I'm going to do that in another thread!

I haven't put this in good day+recovery because its been horrendous to be honest. Friday is a day that I don't want repeated in my life, the pressure was unbelievable. Everyone please cross your fingers that the job offer will be confirmed for me next week!

[starryeyesee]

Fingers crossed for you Data

Well done on getting through that

xxx

[imdebbiem]

Tough choice...I will keep my fingers crossed for you Data. xxx

[Data]

Thanks Starry - and I really like the quote in your signature, Deb.

[JasmineRose]

I really hope that it works out for you. I understand how nerve wracking things like this can be.

[natfredricks]

You r so clever! So many job offers- congrats!

[Pickle59]

(((Data))) congrats to you for both offers!!! sounds like you really want the job offer in Yorkshire and I really hope you get confirmation in writing soon.xx Well done you.x

[Fanta]

Data.

I hope it all works out for you.x

[Data]

Well I've had the email through this morning with the employment offer confirmed, including the start date and salary.

The only thing that worries me is that it is subject to health screening. Whilst I never take time off sick, I suffer from:

• mental health problems: no firm diagnosis; a complex PD with features of autism. I have no treatment other than a low dose of quetiapine at night (which I am trying to come off).
  
• alcohol problems: former alcoholic and now occasional binge drinker, but now I only drink about once a week.
  
• arthritis: in my right hand which has an old fracture, I don't have any treatment for it so if it gets worse I can use some anti-inflammatory cream.
  
• high cholesterol: I am not on any medication but I see a consultant chemical pathologist about 3-4 times a year.
  
• obesity: I am 140kg/22 stones. I've lost around 15kg and hope to lose more.
  
• sleep apnoea: which is severe. I have a CPAP machine which is attached to a mask and supplies me with pressurised air to breath at night. I've been having problems with it though.
  

If you read that list, you might think I am falling to pieces, but none of those problems has a major effect on my life. Probably the worst one is the sleep apnoea, but it doesn't stop me driving.

I've not seen the screening form yet but I think I'm going to have to be honest. The job comes with BUPA and if I make a claim or have any time off for any of these conditions and they are not declared, I could be sacked. Also, if I don't declare things I'm going to have the pressure of having to keep quiet about it at work all the time, even if I become really friendly with my work colleagues.

But then I am worried that if I am honest, they will decline the job offer .

[Christine001]

job decison sounds a good one,

re honesty, my view you can be too honest based on your perception of your dxs.

.

so for example you put down you binge drink and I think they woul be really concerned. I wouldnt put this at all.

you put down actual diagnosis only,

you say you have no dxs so what is the treatment you have for?

have you ever been diagnosed as being a alchoholic, if anything is recovering alchoholic but wouldnt put it down unless dxs. ie in times of stress many people would drink but wouldnt dream of putting on a medical form.

what contact do you have with MH services now ánd do you have any medication

I am not invalidaing here. but would it not be truer to say past depressive illness which covers reason for contact with MH services and covers a lot eg anxeiety, using alchohol, relates to personal home issues and not work issues.

Obesity fair enough but I wouldnt put that on a medical,

sleep apnea yes I would put this on as you are having treatment nd could in their veiw hav an inpact on work.

Re bupa the arthritus and high colesterol may be relevant but I would have thought you will get a pack about the info bupa need nd this is not connected to your employer's.

sorry for spelling cant check it

[Data]

I think you might be right Christine, I'll try and minimise it - without creating a situation in which they can prove I was dishonest.

[Data]

In January I have to go to the lipid clinic to talk about my cholesterol. I had the appointment changed to a Friday, but it still means an entire day off work (since my workplace is 135 miles from where I live at the moment).

Also in February I have to see a nurse to have my CPAP machine examined for my sleep apnoea - another day off work.

And today I received a letter from the hospital saying I am due to have my tonsils out. Whilst they are healthy tonsils, they are large and are a possible contributor to my sleep apnoea. So I have an appointment for an assessment on 2nd January (the day I am due to start work!!!), followed by the operation itself on the 16th.

I received my letter on the 2nd (Sunday) with the contract,etc - but I've not had the written copy through the post. Now, by the time I fill it in and send it back with the slow December post, if they decide I need to see the company doctor, that will delay the start of my employment. Ideally I need to ring up the hospital and get the dates changed, but what do I do? I could ask them to start work on the 3rd January, then I'd be able to go to the pre-operative assessment. Or, I could ask them to postpone the assessment and surgery to February. But then again, if they postpone my the date of my starting work to February, that might cause a problem as well.

I am regretting my decision now. I should have taken the first job, I'd be on my 2nd day of work by now. I may have fucked up my chances of employment, after all this work and my 15 emotionally exhausting job interviews. I am so worried .

[lonelyheartemma]

Data I can see why you chose the York company. It is a big risk but it sounds like you weighed everything up, it really seemed worth the risk. I think accepting a job in a company where you don't feel comfortable is also a risk.

I'm sorry if you've got another thread with more recent info but could you get in touch with the medical people by phone (as it's quicker than letters) and explain your new work situation? I'm sure its something that must have happened before, hospital appts are often made so far in advance, it's not always possible to know what you are doing in several months time. There might be cancellations so you can be seen sooner or maybe you could even be refered somewhere in York tho idk how realistic that is.

[Data]

You might be right Emma - there are risks both ways. I don't think I've done another one with more info, so its ok.

I have filled in the medical form, it was horrendous to be honest as it wanted to know about all the medical problems I've ever had in my life! I filled it in and was honest, but I tried to phrase it in a way which made it clear that the issues are all being treated or have been treated and none of them are likely to interfere with my job.

I am going to leave the surgery appointment until nearer to Xmas because if the job is delayed until February for whatever reason, I could fit the surgery in then. My counsellor says even if I rang them the week before, they will be able to get someone else to fill the slot, so the appointment won't be wasted.

I am going to ring the HR lady on Tuesday next week (when she comes back from her holidays) and discuss these things with her. I need to have 10th January off for my PhD viva, so I will mention that also.

I am feeling a bit better now but I just wish the uncertainty was over.

[JasmineRose]

Uncertainty is hard, I know. You're taking the right steps, I believe, so just keep taking it one step at a time...