Anyone Know About Bipolar Or Asperger?

[EdB]

Hi, I believe I am a little bipolar and / or have Asperger syndrome. I have always had the feeling that my head was wired in differently. As a child I would bang my head against my school desk. Since childhood and through into adulthood I find my self slipping into a daydream like fantasy state, in this state i need to do something with wy hands, like hitting one hand with a spoon or something similar, doing some research, I would describe these states as being possibly like mania states or something close to the stimming activity associated with some autistic spectrum disorders. In these states my mind races through scenarios, often very repetitive and usually high intensity. Often the scenes in my mind are violent although they are not of me committing violence, more like just imaging high power machineguns and weapons firing, riots, or ridiculously loud walls of massive loudspeakers pumping out music. I often have suicidal or depressed thoughts but don't attempt suicide (although I have been close on a number of occasions) For pretty much all of my adult life I have used recreational drugs, in my late teens I got into cannabis, which I went for years taking on a daily basis. As a child I was always a bit awkward and didn't make friends easily. In my late teens I also started taking ecstasy, which seemed to help my get over my shyness and start making friends. As I progressed through my 20s and 30s alcohol took over as my drug of choice. As drinker I tend to start acting drunk quickly, and then almost become another person, the tone of my voice changes and I tend to start 'ranting' about fairly random stuff, like it is the most important thing in the world. I also seem to be sipping my drink as some sort of compulsive action, generally always finishing my drink before others at the table, this seems to happen more in situations where I feel vulnerable, EG when with people I don't know well, or attractive girls! I was getting fed up with excessive drinking, making a fool of myself, spending more than I could afford and probably seriously damaging my health. I stopped drinking, and the desire to smash my own head in started becoming more intense day by day, a feeling that was very reminiscent of how I remember a lot as a child. After just over a week of not drinking I ended up drinking again, and felt the urge was drastically reduced. My time sober made me realise that I was probably self-medicating with alcohol (or other recreational drugs in times past) and I wondered if there might be some way to treat the sensation (kind of a stressed out tension) which might also allow me to have better control of my alcohol intake etc. I am a 38 year old man. I am single at present, and am not particularly successful at attracting members of the opposite sex, although I have built I number of fairly long term relationships with girls (longest 8 years, others 1 - 3 years). I have a high IQ (member of mensa) and hold down a full time job. I had a tough time at school, I found academic work with a pen and paper near impossible, although I later went on to do a degree in computer science via distance learning. (i found working on a computer to be much easier) I have 2 family members diagnosed with asperger syndrome (my brother and a nephew) and most of the male members of my family are a bit 'mad' or eccentric. I have never been diagnosed with a mental illness. I did go to a psychotherapist about 10 years ago to be told there was nothing wrong with me (this was before any of my relatives were diagnosed asperger) Do you think I am asperger, bipolar, both, something else? is there any treatment available. To complicate things I am a British citizen, living and working in Thailand, so I have pretty much no access to mental health facilities.

[lonelyheartemma]

Hi welcome to the site. I'm sorry I don't know much about the conditions but maybe someone else will.

It is possible to misdiagnose people, it has happened to people on here. Just because your psychotherapist says there's nothing wrong with you it doesn't mean they got it right. another person might easily say something different. and I'm not totally sure about this but I think often the same person won't be qualified to diagnose every condition. So someone who diagnoses aspergers might not be able to say 'you havent got aspergers youve got bpd', they can just say what you haven't got. though like I said its possible you do have aspergers and they just got it wrong.

sorry if this is unhelpful, I can only talk about the UK but over here someone with your problems would go to the doctor (the same doctor they see for physical problems) and they are able to give medication that helps with mh problems and possibly also disabilities. they can also refer you to psychologists etc. But as its a different country I have no idea if you can do the same thing in Thailand but maybe you can find out.

[happyhappy]

Hi I am diagnosed BP. I cannot however say whether or not I think you are BP....that is a job for a psychiatrist.I will however tryto answer your post as well as I can based on my own experience.

Hi, I believe I am a little bipolar and / or have Asperger syndrome. I have always had the feeling that my head was wired in differently. As a child I would bang my head against my school desk. Since childhood and through into adulthood I find my self slipping into a daydream like fantasy state, in this state i need to do something with wy hands, like hitting one hand with a spoon or something similar, doing some research, I would describe these states as being possibly like mania states or something close to the stimming activity associated with some autistic spectrum disorders. In these states my mind races through scenarios, often very repetitive and usually high intensity. Often the scenes in my mind are violent although they are not of me committing violence, more like just imaging high power machineguns and weapons firing, riots, or ridiculously loud walls of massive loudspeakers pumping out music.

I do not relate to this at all....sorry. However, I do not say that no one with BP would not. My manias are just not like this at all.

For pretty much all of my adult life I have used recreational drugs, in my late teens I got into cannabis, which I went for years taking on a daily basis. As a child I was always a bit awkward and didn't make friends easily. In my late teens I also started taking ecstasy, which seemed to help my get over my shyness and start making friends. As I progressed through my 20s and 30s alcohol took over as my drug of choice.

well...it is chicken and egg isn't it? Do the drugs cause the MH problems or do you take drugs because of a MH problem? I haven't done a great deal in the way of recreational drugs but a lot of people I know have. I do abuse alcohol but I see you go on to talk about that.

As drinker I tend to start acting drunk quickly, and then almost become another person, the tone of my voice changes and I tend to start 'ranting' about fairly random stuff, like it is the most important thing in the world. I also seem to be sipping my drink as some sort of compulsive action, generally always finishing my drink before others at the table, this seems to happen more in situations where I feel vulnerable, EG when with people I don't know well, or attractive girls! I was getting fed up with excessive drinking, making a fool of myself, spending more than I could afford and probably seriously damaging my health. I stopped drinking, and the desire to smash my own head in started becoming more intense day by day, a feeling that was very reminiscent of how I remember a lot as a child. After just over a week of not drinking I ended up drinking again, and felt the urge was drastically reduced. My time sober made me realise that I was probably self-medicating with alcohol (or other recreational drugs in times past) and I wondered if there might be some way to treat the sensation (kind of a stressed out tension) which might also allow me to have better control of my alcohol intake etc.

I am not trying to be awkward here but if you were becoming another person when you were sober I would see that as more concerning. The ranting and stuff is something a lot of people with BP do, wakening people up in the middle of the night to talk, being convinced you have something more than important to share with the world. But I will be honest with you....if I went to my pdoc and told him what you have written here he would say to me "Stop drinking. I cannot tell what is bipolar and what is you being drunk" I don't see that your voice changing when you have had a drink and you ranting when under the influence is indicative of mental ill health......it sounds like you are drunk. Also, doing this in front of attractive girls just comes across as nerves....and nerves makes us act in silly ways!

However, you may be self medicating. I think most people who have problems of any kind often self medicate, not just BP. My best advice here is to find someone who can help you cut the alcohol and then to look at what is happening with the sober you. Is there AA where you are?

I am a 38 year old man. I am single at present, and am not particularly successful at attracting members of the opposite sex, although I have built I number of fairly long term relationships with girls (longest 8 years, others 1 - 3 years). I have a high IQ (member of mensa) and hold down a full time job. I had a tough time at school, I found academic work with a pen and paper near impossible, although I later went on to do a degree in computer science via distance learning. (i found working on a computer to be much easier) I have 2 family members diagnosed with asperger syndrome (my brother and a nephew) and most of the male members of my family are a bit 'mad' or eccentric. I have never been diagnosed with a mental illness. I did go to a psychotherapist about 10 years ago to be told there was nothing wrong with me (this was before any of my relatives were diagnosed asperger) Do you think I am asperger, bipolar, both, something else? is there any treatment available. To complicate things I am a British citizen, living and working in Thailand, so I have pretty much no access to mental health facilities.

I am afraid I know little about aspergers so can't comment. My best advice is to get yourself to a psychiatrist. Why do you have no access to mental health services where you are?

I know I sound a little harsh above but I really don't relate to much of what you are saying. I understand the temptation to ask for opinions online and then pretty much diagnose yourself but this isn't really helpful. Trust me....I have done it.....many times I really think you need to speak to an expert but also to knock the alcohol on the head as a psychiatrist needs to see what is happening with the sober you.

Good luck :-)