jessicarabbit Posted December 16, 2012 Report Share Posted December 16, 2012 Im just a bit confused, my therapist said in our session this week that she feels we could be friends. I have found this a bit confusing, and not sure where to go with this as normally I would go to her with confusion. is this normal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donnam Posted December 16, 2012 Report Share Posted December 16, 2012 i dont think it is normal, she i believe (from what mine told me) is supposed to prepare you to dealing with out them in a safe way, i think it would be unethical on her part and may get into trouble if her boss found out etc. i had an instance where a bloke (hosp staff) off another ward helped save my life, as i was going blue, and he came to see me few days later and said we could stay friends once i was out of hosp but all i knew was his name and ward and thought there may be more than one Richard, in fact i heard there was so, there was no point me writing to a random Richard, and i didnt want to get him in trouble, i mean he said as friends only (I am married so that was fine by me) but i did get my hopes raised of having a new friend who understood me, but i think in the end it was for the best that i didnt stay in touch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny1471 Posted December 17, 2012 Report Share Posted December 17, 2012 Hi I agree that this is confusing. And I believe against counselling ethics. If you look on the BACP website there is a guidance to counsellor ethics and one of them does state boundaries,including once counselling has finished. Was she saying it as though you will be friends, I.e. saying to contact her outside of sessions... Or was she saying it like 'you are a nice, good person... Someone who I could be friends with' but not necessarily saying you will be friends. Not sure if that makes sense, but I guess the best bet is to ask her in your next appointment what she meant, and how it's left you feeling. Hope you are ok X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted December 17, 2012 Report Share Posted December 17, 2012 I agree with the other responses. A counsellor is not a friend. They are with you to support you emotionally, and that is totally different to a friendship. It is all about boundaries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted December 17, 2012 Report Share Posted December 17, 2012 My logical mind would and read that situation as: 'you are a nice, good person... Someone who I could be friends with' but not necessarily saying you will be friends. While my emotionally mind would would have tried to understand why a T would say something that would mess with my head to much, that was against the rules, especially if I liked them well enough to want to like the idea of a friendship. Maybe you can ask your T to clarify which ones of those situations she was referring to. Don't be afraid to nicely tell your T a suggested friendship is an inappropriate statement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollo 13 Posted December 18, 2012 Report Share Posted December 18, 2012 Just bear in mind T's are human too............notwithstanding training, education and legislation.......even T's can empathise................and who is to say they have not experienced similar scenarios as your own?. We are all adults, and as such, should compartmentalise our own known "default" responses to situations. You have not indicated whether she is a new therapis, or someone whom you have known for a while, and Saha's response is the best course of action. Some people just want to do their job to the very best of their ability and can go beyond the expected norm.....................because some people can care too much!!. Validate, validate, validate..............the best three words ever spoken!! regards T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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