Lois_Lane Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Mine is - emotional hunger! I eat so I can fulfill emotional emptiness. So in order to stop that, I need to learn to cope with my emotions (in my opinion), but I know it takes time. I used to binge a lot! A lot! I would vomit from time to time, but not often. The "power" food had over me, not being able to control myself, and weigting more than I should, was destroying my life... Last summer after my suicide attempt and being hospitalized and starting a psychotherapy with this great therapist, I just stopped binging, was eating normal, that is whenever I felt like it, lost so much weight, I was so happy with my body! But I started binging from time to time, and now I'm binging again and gained weight. I started taking prozac, hope it will help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 i think my reason most of the time is emptiness and boredom. sort of trying to fill that space. sorry your struggling with weight. ive put a bit on myself recently and its really starting to get to that ed part of me that i try suppress. hope the prozac helps xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Mine is emptiness too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeckle88 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Boredom, lonliness and always needing to do something with my mouth, if im not smoking, im eating or chewing my fingers. Im ok in the day, its always when the evening comes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lois_Lane Posted January 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Pandora, don't aloud yourself to think that ed is a part of you, it's not! It's just a symptom of what it seems to be with most of us - emotinal emptiness, loneliness... AppleCrumble and Jeckle88 , seems it's the very same with all of us! I know there are various reasons for binging, but these seem, the most common. Past years, before I started psychotherapy, I was binging for that reason and because I hated myself and wanted to punish myself by making myself feel ugly by gaining weight. But I overcome that and I'll overcome the other reasons for binging. It can be done! Prozac might help but it's not a solution! I want to come to the state when no matter how empty or lonely I feel, ed won't take control over me. It can't be dealt with at once, but I will be patient and fight it! Hope you all could feel the same, as you can see, we are not alone in this! Everytime you feel urges to binge or if you already have, please, write in this thread. That way we can try to help eachother! Xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluebellgirl Posted January 11, 2013 Report Share Posted January 11, 2013 lonliness makes me binge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lois_Lane Posted January 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2013 Bluebellgirl, I hear you! My emotional hole and loneliness, in my case mostly because I need a partner, makes me desperate and by eating I'm trying to fulfill that hole. Of course, it doesn't help, it makes things even worse. And I haven't found a way to control it yet... Must say, this is a second day I went without binging. I don't know what happened but I feel good about it right now. Hope you all are doing better! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted January 11, 2013 Report Share Posted January 11, 2013 I binge because I can't cope with my emotions. Or because they are painful and nobody else on this planet acknowledges or cares about them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lois_Lane Posted January 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2013 Why'd you think nobody cares about your problems, Data? You are such a great person, been there to help me so many times, I'm sure there are a lot of people, family and friends, love you so much. But, yes, I understand binging for not being able to cope with emotions. I wasn't aware of my reasons to binge untill my therapist lead me to recognise that in myself. I've never understood my binging before that. I used to say "I don't know why, but I just can't stop" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted January 11, 2013 Report Share Posted January 11, 2013 Because I talk to myself in the bathroom in the morning. I hate myself. I have to go to work but I wish I could stay in bed and feel safe and secure. Life is harsh and few of us understand the pain . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeckle88 Posted January 12, 2013 Report Share Posted January 12, 2013 Data i talk to myself in the bathroom too.. = People hear me and i feel like a freak! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lois_Lane Posted January 12, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2013 Same with me! I talk to myself in the bathroom too. And in the mirror! I know what you mean. I am on holiday now and I mostly spend it laying in bed, feeling desperate hopeless... And when my friends call me to see me I cry because I don't have much excuses why I won't see them. I'm afraid to lose them but I don't just feel worse when I go out to meet them. And they have problems and need me. So I have to force myself, it's so difficult I don't know how I'll cope when I get back to work next week... My therapist is my saviour, but seeing him once a week doesn't seem enough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lois_Lane Posted January 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2013 How are you doing? X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted January 20, 2013 Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 I talk to myself when walking along empty corridors at work... hate it when someone walks out of a door and sees me mouthing things to myself before I notice and stop... eek! :-( *hugs to Data* xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lois_Lane Posted January 20, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 AppleCrumble I do that too! I even gesticulate with my hands! When someone sees me, I wish the Earth opens and drags me in! I control myself in eating for some time, guess it's because I'm in a better mood. I ate very late last night and was so angry at myself, but decided not to let that discourage me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILostHer Posted January 25, 2013 Report Share Posted January 25, 2013 Hunger for me. Once in a while I binge and purge to remind how horrible it is to feel full up. I hate it, I hate food, I wish it didn't exist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lois_Lane Posted January 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2013 I used to purge too, because I didn't want to gain weight, but purging was too difficult. I used to spend hours in the toilet and sometimes couldn't purge no matter how hard I tried. It made me even more furious, which led to binging again... I am eating normally now and hope I'll lose those 2 extra pounds. I don't know why, but being slim gives me confidence, and even when in cryses it's easier for me when I'm slim. I have that need to look perfect, that people look at me and think I'm perfect , which is narcistic and makes no sense. I am very ashamed to admit this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lois_Lane Posted February 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2013 I am binging again. I feel terrible hunger I try to resist, and can't anymore. I am also very depressed and feeling I want to cry and feel anger at the same time. Why is this happening again? It never stops, never. And I want to die, but cannot kill myself. When will this stop? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeckle88 Posted February 3, 2013 Report Share Posted February 3, 2013 Lois Sorry your struggling right now (((huge hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted February 3, 2013 Report Share Posted February 3, 2013 ohhh. this is a bit hard for me n i don't think most ppl will like me for saying what i will.....at age 8 i started pills to cause me diahreah (sp?) i felt that pressure to fit in n my "class" was i guess well off n we had to be well educated n perfect. i would binge n purge n at first i didn't suss it right so it was a struggle n upsetting with the critisim cuz the lot was thin n perfect! i became anorexic with severe bulimia. i was feeling the queen of the lot , i knew i was perfect....then i fell into i needed to be so careful with food n then more restrictive n had to lose weight everyday n then a piece of bread recommended by my ed counciler ...i'd throw out the back dorr screaming at! i was sent to an ed hossy many states away cuz i was dying, my heart had shrunk from starving n came in being treated for a heart attack at 23!the whole breast thing it was horrible n feeling like it was unfair but after i think 4 months i came home weighing 109. n i was kicked out for calling my psychiatrist a "cunt!" anyway i do binge but after that i went on to be i think 18 stone cuz i was terrified of the other way n my family n boyfriend walked away from me. so now i find i'm decent weight n was all muscle n lean before n yeah i m upset i'm binging a bit again....but it is all ebbs n flows, tho it all seems it's all ebs n flows coping , i don't like i put on this weight n binging is a way to distract n cause a bit of comfort that u can convince urself ur satisfied. i still face it myself but after my long winded answer i hope someone can take something at all from this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted February 5, 2013 Report Share Posted February 5, 2013 gwaar! i was tmi ...my answer to the original question.....feeling comfort, abaiding boredom, feeling i'm trying to fill the emotional hole, too much restriction on food u just break, n the drive to be thin etc. or to loose weight n u put too much pressure on urself n u get to the poinnt u go all "F it!", n last but not least trying to deal with stress and/or lonilessness at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorkiegal73 Posted February 5, 2013 Report Share Posted February 5, 2013 routine, boredom, pms, bingeing in advance of a bad mood to prevent it, because its there, to squash down emotions, to sleep, panic. too many reasons to list really. it's my default position for dealing with anything. i've had a gastric bypass now so can only binge on much smaller quantities but the reasons are all still the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lois_Lane Posted February 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 Jades, I understand you, feeling slim makes me feel "powerful" and "perfect" and when I binge I feel powerless and ugly! I don't know if this has to do with with my bpd or everyone who binges feels the same. Of course, being slim doesn't solve my problems, still get into depression and crysis, but it feels worse when I binge and am overweight. What else I concluded, sometimes people tell me I'm too skiny, but when I look myself in the mirror it doesn't seem that way. I either think I look slim or a bit overweight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lois_Lane Posted February 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 Yourkiegal, thank you for sharing your story. Seems we all have the similiar if not the same thing that triggers us to binge. What wonders me, how do you all cope with binging? Do you find any ways to stop it? I stopped cutting myself, but binging is something I yet have no control over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abee.abee1991 Posted February 7, 2013 Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 I binge if I am bored, upset which is pretty much all the time so it sucks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.