lonelyheartemma Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 After waiting about 4 days for a reply I finally got this from the feedback people. I feel really upset by it. If its too long why not send a reply asking for an edited version? Why keep me waiting and then send me a message that makes me feel bad for having so many problems and using so much exclamation marks? In future I won't be making my messages shorter because I'm not writing to them again. Hi Emma Thanks for your message; I am sorry for the delay in you receiving a response to your e-mail. I have been able to establish that due to the size of your message it presented a problem for our system. The technical department had to edit it slightly, removing some of the exclamation marks etc to make it smaller. it is now in the system for addressing so hopefully you will get a response soon. Would it be possible for you to make your messages shorter in the future? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeaBee Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Emma that is shocking, how can a problem be too long? (Just for you Samaritans !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I'm sorry and hope when you receive your proper response it is helpful. B. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donnam Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 hugs hun, sorry this has happened to u. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Hey, Sorry that the computer systems let you down. The whole Samaritans network runs on a weird system, as it has to reprocess emails to make people able to reply to them, but with keeping your name/email address hidden - so that it remains anonymous. It obviously has caused the computer system a few problems (blame BT or whoever it is that runs the platform it runs on)... Samaritans are just people who care, they probably don't really understand the whole computer network thing, and when things get complicated they need to consult others, which can take some time... with so many branches around the place, the system is pretty busy... but yeah I'm surprised as well that the system couldn't cope with a email, however long it is... Maybe send it in two halves - and write at the bottom, sending the bottom half afterwards, please don't reply to this half of the email, until you've received the second half?... then they can reply when they get the second one? I think it had got 'lost in confusion' before it reached the people who reply to the emails... (there's a whole crazy process emails go through before they reach the computer where Samaritans sit I guess...) - so they wouldn't have been able to say or think 'oo this is too long'... it's just a silly computer thing. Please don't give up on the Samaritans, I'm sure they might be helpful sometimes. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeaBee Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Have you tried telephoning? I've found them very helpful on the phone before. B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Just quoting what you said on that other thread of yours that I was reading... "I am upset by the reply I got, I can understand it being a problem but the reply was mean and how can they keep someone waiting for 4-5 days or whatever it was? If its too long why not just reply after the usual amount of time, reply to the first couple of paragraphs and say thats all they can do because they have other letters to reply to but I can send the next 2 paragraphs next time and so on? really not looking forward to the reply now." The people who reply to emails can only send one reply, and can't send you a message unless you write them one... they have to reply all in one go, and I guess it'll be a sake of they reply to whichever email is next in line/who has been waiting longest, and they reply to that one next... Pretty sure it won't have got through to anyone who will have been able to reply... it will have not got to the waiting cue, where Samaritans can reply... so they won't have know that you've emailed, until you sent your complaint in. Any chance I can PM you? if you unblock private messages for a bit? Hope that cleared things up, know a little bit about that sort of system...xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted January 23, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Bea I can't phone, my parents listen to my phone calls and tho I did try a couple of times when they were out it wasnt helpful. The 2 guys had creepy voices that scared me, they sounded like my ex who raped me. the woman made me feel so bad I hung up and self harmed. I think maybe me and the samaritans don't go well together. I really want to write back to that feedback woman and say "no I won't be making my emails shorter as I won't be writing to you again, next time I'll just kill myself" but even if she is as horrible as she sounds that might make her feel bad. The computer thing sounds really complicated but if a certain length is too long maybe they should say that somewhere on the site instead of making me wait for days and days? and the feedback person could have sent a nicer reply, she must know I'm in mental distress, I wrote to the samaritans! Apple I haven't blocked pms, my inbox must be full again, I'll go and delete something. I don't like deleting messages, some have phone numbers and some are just really nice messages I want to keep forever but there's probably something I can delete. I could send it in two halves but I don't know how long 'too long' is, maybe they want it in 3 parts, idk. I'm not writing to them again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted January 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 I just read through my original message and didn't find a single exclamation mark in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyStrange Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 Emma, that sounds SO frustrating! Ugh. Not to mention uncaring.. I haven't lived in the UK in years... are the Samaritans religious? I'm assuming that they are UKs main free crisis call line. I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling and that you aren't able to phone due to privacy issues with your parents. I know that times are hard, and this is the last thing you want to hear - but "this too shall pass". Someday it will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aurorablues Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 Hi Emma, I've been reading a couple of your threads and i'm so sorry Samaritans are taking so long replying to your email and that you're having such a hard time I understand that you made a complaint or gave them Feedback. So i'm gussing the reply above is in response to your feedback. Like other sites, the Samaritans likely have a tech team or something similar, who i would imagine answers these kinds of feedback messages, whom are possibly not trained or in training like their counselling volunteers, who answer crisis emails, phonecalls and texts. For me personally, i don't see the above message as being rude or unfair, but then again, i'm seeing this from an outsiders perspective. What i see is them trying to explain just what happened with your original email and then trying to tell you the solution. To me it tells me that their system can't take very large messages, which is not your fault for having too many problems, nor is it theirs, but the system that they they are using. Also, it tells me that by adding exclamation marks and perhaps other forms of mass punctuation, it may have been flagged as trying to circumvent something they have blocked within their system. You know how work places try to block certain words on their email systems to stop employees getting dodgy personal emails and ones full of swearing etc. Well you can set these systems up to recognise certain patterns that may be trying to circumvent that system, i.e the exclamation marks or any other punctuation you may have used in a different way that it's usually used, may have flagged to the system that it was possibly used in place of certain swear words or rude words etc. Hence why it had to be edited to be able to get through to someone who could answer your email. Don't give up on them. Perhaps do try and email something to them that is smaller than your original, then wait for a reply, then you can add more stuff in another reply and so on, therefore striking up correspondence. I hope you're ok. Aurora Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SusieQ Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 I agree that response isn't very empathic. I also agree with others that it may have been sent by one of the systems operators rather than one of the listening team members. Personally I find the idea of calling or e-mailing a line that could have ANYONE on the end of it a bit weird to be honest. I know people who've had experiences with the Samaritans that are both good and bad. I'm guessing it just depends on who you get and if you like what they say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted January 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 Thank you Aurora. I thought she was showing a lack of sensitivity to someone in emotional distress but that's a really good point that she might not be a trained samaritan. There were no exclamation marks in my whole email (not in my email to the samaritans or my feedback email) and the way she commented made it sound like depressed people are overdramatic and use too many. But reading it again I think she meant "for example removing some of the exclamation marks" and she wasn't commenting on my email, she was just talking about emails in general. Its possible she hasn't even read my email. I didn't put any rude words in it either. I'm sorry if I've ever offended you or anyone else by using rude words on here. (I know you didn't say you were offended but in case you are.) I never swear in real life. I don't know why I do it online. Maybe it's because I write whatever's in my head and I do swear in my head. I say a lot of stuff in my head because there's a lot of stuff I can't say out loud. I got a reply to my long email, it was a nice reply so maybe I will reply to that. Emily the samaritans say on the site they aren't religious but I'm sure they have volunteers from all kinds of religions. They are the UK's main free crisis line. I actually like that quote. It is true that even though some of my problems have been going on for years there are others that have passed. Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aurorablues Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 Hi Emma, I'm glad you got a reply back. I didn't realise you didn't use exclamation marks, i wonder if they meant some punctuation in general to shorten the email somewhat. It's very likely the person responding didn't read your email but may possibly be used to others putting in lots of "!!!!!" and "????" or sad or crying smiley faces etc. Also, i didn't mean you did use bad langauge and i personally don't mind if you do on here. I was explaining that some systems are set up to recognise set patterns in all messages that try and circumvent any rude words and other unnecessary things that are not allowed. Example, if someone wrote; "I hate my fucking life" <-------- The whole message could likely be blocked from being sent. If someone wrote; "I hate my &%£$ing life" <--------- That might be recognised as trying to circumvent the system and may be blocked from being sent to the appropriate place. "Hi my name is Fred and i'm having a really terrible time!!11!! :'( :'( :'( Can you help me???? :)" <----- That may not get through because of the overuse of punctuation and smilies etc which the system may not allow. I would imagine in this day and age, many people will write emails like that because it's quite common. Also, some systems are even more strict, say if someone sends an email to a friend at work. saying; "I know someone who read a really amazing book recently" <--------- Looks like a nice clean message doesn't it, nothing wrong with that at all. But, lets copy, paste and bold what i'm going on about "I know someone who read a really amazing book recently" It spells out "Whore" Some systems are set to recognise things so small like that, that even something as innocent as that sentance may not get through to the person you are sending it to because it spells out a swear word. The exact same thing happened to my Partner. He was trying to leave some feedback on ebay and it wouldn't let him, in the end after quite a long time discussing it on tech support chat, it was all because part of what he was trying to say spelt out a rude word. Apologies for the language Aurora Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeaBee Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 I hope you're ok about this now Emma? It strikes me as quite sad that you have to go through all this to get some support, I think the NHS have let you down. B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted January 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 Thank you Aurora That really made me smile a lot. It was reassuring but it was also really funny Maybe I did write something about whores! (Yes that was an exclamation mark, I kind of feel like I'm talking when I write on this site but I'm a bit more calmed down in emails) I'm sure that kind of thing happens alll the time but I can see why websites might want to block it, I've seen people swearing on sites where they can't swear by putting in extra spaces.. I've heard of websites where you can't write the word Scunthorpe, I remember staring at that word for ages, trying to work out why. I feel better now thanks BeaBee The rules they had in place didn't help me but its okay now I understand why and now I can see it wasn't a personal criticism of my email. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeaBee Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 I'm really glad you feel better about it all Emma, it is good so many people here had advice and knowledge to reassure you. B. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeaBee Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 P.S. I had to take a good look at "Scunthorpe" to see the possible problem! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted January 25, 2013 Report Share Posted January 25, 2013 Glad you're okay with it now Emma... Samaritans the organisation isn't religious. You can be a non-religious or a religious volunteer, just like you can be black/white, bi/gay/straight... it doesn't matter - they aren't allowed to divulge information about themselves, nor put their views onto people who call... so you shouldn't be hearing anything about religion, even if you ask. You can talk about religion yourself, and they can hear you out... but they shouldn't say I do/don't believe... You can use swear words, to describe your life etc if you want to, that won't get blocked... I don't feel the replies were bad or unhelpful. I guess she knew that you'd be getting a proper reply soon, and as she probably is only dealing with the technical side of things she probably didn't want to enter into an emotional conversation... and she'd leave it to the volunteers that do listen/talk/discuss that side of things. Glad she managed to send it on to the people who deal with emails, and that the reply was helpful xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted January 25, 2013 Report Share Posted January 25, 2013 PS. I also think that who you speak to on the other end of the phone, depends oh what kind of person/voice you find comforting... and what kind of listening you would like. Some listen more noisily, others are quite quiet... it's sort of like different styles of therapist... have a go at talk to them, and if they don't feel right, then maybe call back a little later and see if someone else is answering the phone? xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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