Update On Me, Especially As A Couple Of People Got Worried

[b0bulat0r]

Hiya

Following from my other updates last week that were quite dark,

i went to the doctors thursday morning, told him everything he gave me some sleeping tablets to help me sleep but wouldn't really do anything, his advise was, "sign yourself off till end of next week then come back and see me and we'll look at if we need to sign you off for longer"

i explained in my current situation thats not possible as i'm the ONLY person who does my job not only mine but 5 peoples jobs, and if im off nobody covers me so i won't destress or relax or get rest if i am off because i'll know i'm just coming back to an even worse time than we've got now.

I have an appointment to go back and see him on the 12th anyway, might have to try again with one of the other doctors though,

I went to talk to my line manager in the afternoon though and he was a bit better than i expected, its not his fault to be honest, its because our new top boss is rubbish, plus all the environmental problems we've had with power cuts, floods, loss of heating, water etc, he said he'll just take the time off if it was him, i said i can't and explained why, he suggested i get Paul in (who we pay for a certain number of his days support a year) to just cover me while i am conveniently off ill, i might just have to do that, we shall see

I had a bit of a de-stress this weekend playing a new game i got on my ps3 that helped distract me for a bit, but every time i stopped i started thinking again and about how miserable i am ,

hopefully this week will be much better than the last 4!!!

[jillv]

You should take the advice of your GP. Your health is more important than your job, and your absence may make them realise how much you do do

[Kitsune]

deffo i'd take the time off and let them get the cover guy in. I'm sure he'll be glad of the work and you sound like you need the time off. Your line manager probably has it right. If you're ill because you drive yourself into the ground then you won't be able to work at all and may have to take longer off.

The line manager sounds like someone you could potentially have a decent working relationship with which is really good where your mental health is concerned. Sorry to hear the top boss is rubbish and that you've had so many new challenges coming up in your environment.

It's great that you're taking steps to help yourself and I hope that you get to a better headspace step by step.

*hugs*

[b0bulat0r]

biggest problem there is that my line manager retires in July, that's why hes so calm about stuff and doesn't really care what I do, He even said to me he'd raise issues with the top boss and get shouty because he doesn't care if he pisses her off since hes going in like 4 months and "she can pay me off to leave early if she really wants"

[Pickle59]

(((Bobulator))) Sounds like you have taken some really positive steps, even if for now you are not acting on the advice given from your line manager and doctor.xx I'm just wondering if enough comfort and reassurance has been given, for the moment, that this is keeping you going still, but is it really enough? Do you not really really need some time out to catch up on sleep and all the other things that need doing. Just wondering if you have a feeling or some knowledge of what you might be honestly fearful about to not take a little time out for you.

Thank you for letting us know how things are just now & take care you.xx

I know that feeling of needing to be needed and going to any lengths to keep being needed, but if in the end it is damaging your own health, well maybe letting this Paul person take the load for a while might be a good thing..............................xx

[lonelyheartemma]

(((((Rob))))))

I hope you feel able to take the time off, i'm glad your line manager was supportive. I know it must be hard to take time off when you know you will be coming back to it but why not give the cover guy a go? It might really make a difference for you and if Paul has trouble doing everything that might make people apreciate you more like Kalico said

btw I have seen you on msn a few times but you are always away or busy so I haven't talked to you sorry.

[b0bulat0r]

I normally mark myself as busy because i'm writing or working on my project, but you can always say hi to me, I'm not usually too busy to talk, I've never seen you on do you hide offline?

say hi anytime I'm always make time to talk to you