Christine001 Posted February 16, 2013 Report Share Posted February 16, 2013 I do post a lot about how I am feeling but when I have I wish I hadn't coz I don't want to be noticed but I do, I don't want empathy but I do, I don't know what I want from here or anywhere. To hide or try to challenge myself to be more open and be with people. Here I post then delete or say I am fine now thanks when I am not, post for other people so I don't post myself. Today its very confusing. I am addedg to this that I don't feel very safe and even though my son is here I want to cut so bad, saying this as hope its stops me and sadly there is no one else to say it to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~vanilla Posted February 16, 2013 Report Share Posted February 16, 2013 I delete many posts. I write the post, read what I wrote, decide that the answer I want won't happen anyway then close the browser tab. I've done that here, at crazyboards, reddit, my blog, high existence and other sites. Sometimes the act of writing has helped but most times it has not. I just get to the end of what I want to write and it just seems that publishing it won't help, won't do anything and if I do publish and don't get what I want I'll feel worse so it seems better to delete it, to go read something else. So you aren't alone on that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fanta Posted February 16, 2013 Report Share Posted February 16, 2013 Yes I have done this on many occasions too, I have actually deleted posts, I have now starting blogging again, I want to post and when I do I want to delete them right away, I really don't know why I do it, Is this a BPD thing?xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeaBee Posted February 16, 2013 Report Share Posted February 16, 2013 Christine I do exactly this, I want to reach out and then I feel uncomfortable, sometimes I delete. Sorry I don't have any advice but I can understand your feelings. B. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickle59 Posted February 16, 2013 Report Share Posted February 16, 2013 ((((Christine)))) The number of posts i have deleted and not posted is huge.x Can understand where you are coming from me thinks. Not sure if it is just a BPD thing either. What I have learnt a bit more and might help you to post and get it out, is to not edit!!! I have had to learn to do this because as you say, I need to say, but can't, then I do, and can't deal with what I have written, so delete. so try not editing.xxxxxxxxx Hugs.xxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted February 16, 2013 Report Share Posted February 16, 2013 yeh i do this a lot. i have a hard time accepting that talking about things doesnt mean you are attention seeking in a bad way. maybe you feel the same? xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted February 18, 2013 Report Share Posted February 18, 2013 Christine I so get what you mean. I always feel incredibly guilty if i post about myself. I have a deep belief that i do not deserve attention,of any sort. Tbh,i have spent most of my life trying to be invisible. I have to say that my mother re-inforced the feeling that i should remain unseen.I still do what i can to make sure i merge into the background. I regret pretty much every thread i start but don't delete them so i can see people's reactions.I have been able to share a lot here. Because i was ignored for so much of my life,i crave attention.But more than that,i crave compassion & understanding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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