cazbaby66 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2013 Hi, no its not, I've been engaged n very close to gettin married til I found out he was cheatin, stealin n finally hittin me. We broke the ice last night , with my boyf, I told him all bout my past and now I feel we've made a connection. I'm so happy n av ignored the other blokes n will continue to do so. I'm settled xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoppyCow96 Posted February 24, 2013 Report Share Posted February 24, 2013 glad to hear you both made a connection that sounds good hopefully you can be happy from now on xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cazbaby66 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2013 I'm happy in that part of my life. But not with anythin else, my boyf doesn't understand as to why the rest of my life is makin me so depressed n stressed. He says be happy for us. I am happy with us, just not with everythin else in my life, that hasn't changed. I'm still waitin to see a psychiatrist, so much for 2 week wait. Its a month now, its a joke tbh. Especially wen ur parents don't believe ur not well. They think I'm fine n need to just get on with it, life isn't easy but I dnt hear them complainin. Day in n day out that's all I hear. Its so hard. But there I go again bein selfish, like I'm the only person in the worls who's sick. Hate myself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoppyCow96 Posted February 24, 2013 Report Share Posted February 24, 2013 your not being selfish you shoulded bring yourself down like that all the time its not good for you and its not the truth maybe you should try explaining what other things make you depressed if you can find a way to express yourself would be good i understand having to wait for something thats important to you can be frustrating but seems like you have to wait for everything now adays i was told it would take 15 weeks to get some post mortum results back when do i get them? six months later unfortunately you just have to play the waitin game be patient and hopefully youll be having an appointment made with your psyciatrist if they keep you waitin for too long that its starting to take the piss you should call up and keep enquiring about it until you get what you want its not good to keep you waiting like that. Its harder for people around you to understand that your not well coz from the outside you probably look fine like everyone else but they dont know whats going on in your head best to just ignore them or try to convince them im sorry your going through a tough time but i hope you have happier days to come big hugs xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cazbaby66 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 Wen u put it into context with wat u were waitin for, that just goes to show how selfish n how I am for talkin bout me, wen ppl av their own problems. I can't even begin to think bout u waitin for ur results, as that's not somethin I've come across. There is no comparision. So I should be quiet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoppyCow96 Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 dont be silly you shouldnt be quiet we all pretty much come on here to talk about our problems no matter how big or small they seem to be we all here to support each other i didnt mean to make you feel bad cazbaby are you okay? xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cazbaby66 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 Sorry hun, I'm ok, I didn't mean to make u feel bad. My heads up my ass, feel sick, its the time of the month so everythin it exaggarated plus its a full moon tonight too, so that doesn't help. Got too much to do n not enough time to do it in xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoppyCow96 Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 glad your okay no need to apologise hope you feel better soon its my time of the month as well so i feel pretty yucky today xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 *hugs* hope you feel better soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cazbaby66 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 I feel considerably worse today, very emotional, just wanna cry all the time but yet I feel numb (work that one out coz I can't) I've wanted to self harm lots, but today the thought of suicide entered my head. That scared me, greatly. I've not done either, but my willpower is gettin less n less. I'm exhausted now, exhausted with life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoppyCow96 Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 sorry to hear your having a bad day today but i hope you start to feel better soon try not to hurt yourself in anyway no one here wants you to get hurt xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HavingABadTime Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 what i find is people who are close to you or me, like family or firends, very few of them really care properly. Its all too much for them. But people on forums do show care, there are lots of people here who message and say nice stuff on threads. But that is much easier than caring face to face. I know it might sound a bit rude, but im not trying to be rude. Im saying thank you to the people on forums who show what care they can, but really it should be friedns and family who have a real opportunity to help that should help more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 That's perfectly understandable Badtime and a valid point, we all want our families and significant others to care and support us with things like this. Some of us have supportive people around us who can handle it but many do not and have people who have a limit to how much they can help. It's normal I guess- these things are dark and difficult and people who are relatively stable and who have no experience of mental healh issues find it difficult to offer the support needed. Many get scared because they can't understand and fear losing the people they care about- and from fear they act angrily or badly and end up pushing the sufferer further away. Some are just unable to show compassion. Some people who care about the sufferer have contributed to how they live their lives and handle things badly, simply can't give the support needed and meet needs. I think the reason people are so nice on here is because they know what it is i to live with mental health issues, they've been through hell and back. They understand and they treat people how they wish they had been/ would be treated. This doesn't stop them wishing that their face to face loved could show the care they need, but for many of us it just isn't a possibility. *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HavingABadTime Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 I think the reason people are so nice on here is because they know what it is i to live with mental health issues, they've been through hell and back. They understand and they treat people how they wish they had been/ would be treated. This doesn't stop them wishing that their face to face loved could show the care they need, but for many of us it just isn't a possibility. *hugs* Thats very ture, I didn't think of it like that, I suppose I don't think things through properly. What I will say is that even a single post or message to me on some forums (here too) can make me cry, not because it's making me upset or angry, but becasue someone showed some care, yet Im sure family and friends do loads for me, but I dont always feel the same. There must be something wrong with me. Im just ungrateful and useless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cazbaby66 Posted February 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 Ur not useless, we all think like that at times, if were completely honest with ourselves. We think everyone doesn't care n its easy for ppl to care on ere as its just typin. But then again, its ppl who log in everyday to see how we are. They do care, I kno it might not seem they do coz its not physical, like ppl huggin u or holdin u or avin a chat over a cuppa. But it is real xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoppyCow96 Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 very true cazbaby xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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