Wanting Things Over With

[berenger]

I have a problem when i have got to do something i don't like or want to do. The evening before i get down and anxious and so i try to make the day come and (more importantly) go quicker by using booze and pills to go to bed dead early and sleep a long time (12 to 15 hours).

I also find things hard when i have time on my hands. I hate winter, because you can do more stuff when its light in the evenings.

A combination of these things is bad for me. Does anyone else relate to this. I would love to stop doing it but can't.

Tomorrow i have to go to london with friends for the football. We are stopping 2 nights. I agreed to go and thought a change would help, and i could see the sights of london. Now its here all i can think was i won't be able to do my usual routine and that i'll get really cold at the match.

My usual routine is what i like to do in the evenings when i feel well. I read for hours on end, watch tv and have a nice supper. Its only 2 nights but i can't do that, my friends will want to go out, as any sane person would. Plus i can't take loads of books as luggage. My friends will think i'm weird. I just want monday to come when i come home. Its sad to be like this, i should be able to have a little break without falling apart.