rhondaline42 Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 I bought a new swimming costume for holiday I’m going on in the summer with my boyfriend. The woman modelling the swimsuit wasn’t as big as me, but she wasn’t your typical skeletal model type, she had some substance. All anyone said to me was “oh it’ll suit your curves” and words to that effect, because it’s very 1950’s and so on. It arrived and I couldn’t try the damn thing on for 3 hours because I was too scared. And then when I finally did I just told my mum I liked it and then cried in my room for the rest of the evening because I look fucking awful. My legs are like the biggest thing I’ve ever seen. So for the past 3 weeks, every time I eat the voices have been trying to make me throw up. (I suffer from hallucinations; I probably should have mentioned that earlier). they have succeeded about 12 times. They keep saying that I’m fat, ugly and worthless and that if I don’t throw the food back up it will make me worse; that if I don’t throw up, my boyfriend will leave me because he deserves a pretty girl and that everyone always talks about how fat I am behind my back because it disgusts them. So I’m now sat in my room listening to very loud music trying to ignore the voices and not chuck up my dinner. This is pathetic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoppyCow96 Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 aww im really sorry to hear about the voices and swimming costume i understand how you feel i used to wear a brown dress it looked really nice i got it out a couple of months ago and tried it on, looked in the mirror what i saw was disgusting giant hips and a fat tummy i thought i looked like an elephant that reflection of myself hurt so deeply and i was angry with myself for letting myself get so fat so my voice told m e i have to starve myself and be skinny otherwise my bf will stop loving me and go off with a fit bird the concept of my partner cheating or leaving me for another women whos better than me hurts so much. Try your hardest to ignore the voices dont listen to them they just want to control and hurt you i know its hard when sometimes they are constantly in your head but you need to try your best. But im sure your bf loves you how you are and u make him happy so you should concentrate on that. your bf loves you so matter how ugly or big you get he will always love you no matter what remember that. i think you should talk to you bf about this and maybe he can make you feel better by trying to reassure you that your the only one he wants big hugs hope the voices go away xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeaBee Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 I struggle with wanting to look perfect, although I know beauty is only skin deep, I still want to be perfect. I agree with SC, if you can get some reassurance you may feel much better. B. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 don't give the voices what they want, you can do it! *hugs*, hope that you feel better soon, clothing is a nightmare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abee.abee1991 Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 hugs hun. If you can't send it back and have to wear it, can you get one of those sarong things that you can wrap around you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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