Insideoutgirl Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 Today at uni I did a seminar at Uni as part of a group. The topic was around the issue of diversity in regard to counselling. Our group focused on Mental Health and as we had all had MH problems we decided to be brave and share some of our own experiences at the end of our presentation, I did not plan what I was going to say as I didnt know how brave I'd feel... but as it is something Im working on in personal development I decided to be completely open and not hold back. I may have rambled on a bit.. as I had not planned my words. All my group congratulated me on doing well.. however when we recieved feedback.. which was anonymous someone from the whole class had written something which has really offended me and I am really hurt by it. Bearing in mind some of what I was talking about was not feeling valued or listened to.. The comment which was written was "some of the presenters talked too much about their own mental health issues which took away from the glamour and shine" WTF?!!!! I knew this was intended to be aimed at me as perhaps what I divulged was not glossy and shiny. But it was not meant to be.. it was meant to be honest..and open.. and as I always care what people think so much and find it hard to give of myself not knowing how people will react was incredibly hard for me, SORRY i DIDNT PORTRAY A ROSIE GLOSSY VIEW POINT. sORRY THEIR WERE NO PRETTY PICTURES. SORRY IF I MADE YOU FEEL AWKWARD. AND SINCE WHEN WAS THE SUBJECT GLAMOROUS AND SHINY?!!!! i THINK YOU TOTALLY MISSED THE POINT YOU INSENSITIVE, IGNORANT, THOUGHTLESS BEING. I stupidly thought that amongst trainee counsellors I was in a safe space. But obviously my issues were not wonderful stories like my other group members. Well you have managed to make me feel like I have felt for the most part of my life... unimportant... insignificant ... ..... dismissed. You picked me out when I had made myself the most vulnerable and spat on me.... You have left me loathing myself and kicking myself for thinking that anyone would be remotley interested in what I had to say. .. and now .. after feeling so pleased and proud that I was so open I feel so detached and seperate from everything and everyone. YOU WANT TO BE A COUNSELLOR? YOU SHOULD NOT BE ANYWHERE NEAR ANYONE VULNERABLE. And you do not write your name on the feedback.. a silent attack. I feel sick. I feel targetted. I hate myself. Whats the point. why do I bother with anything.. all this energy.. all this effort.... I gave everything of myself... Really trying.... whats the point , Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 Don't waste anymore of your precious head space on that truly stupid comment.All it shows is that individual's complete lack of understanding of the subject.Pity them.But DO NOT take their ignorance to heart. And well done btw. You did a very brave thing & you should be praised. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 No doubt this person will fail whatever qualifications they are going for- and if they did end up being a counsellor their patients would probaby leave of their own volition. *hugs* sorry they've hurt you so much, but be proud that you were brave, all the rest thought you guys did well didn't they? Their opinion is worth much more than any thoughtless idiots. Woe betide them when they want help, they could learn a lot from you. The glamour and shine bit is ridiculous... if they think that mental health issues have a glamour and shine aspect then they are on the wrong course and won't get far at all. they'll need all the luck they can get as they certainly have no flair for basic human compassion and understanding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoppyCow96 Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 I was so proud of you when i read you opened up like that. I can imagine that would of been very hard for you. But when i read the feedback you got... that made me angry. I agree with everything you said. Its not meant to be glossy if they wanted glossy and goodness they are obviously in the wrong place i cant believe the person who wrote that feedback was so insensitive and rude. Its unbelievable You opened up to everyone by choice and you didnt have to and that person just threw it in your face. I cant imagine how you feel right now.You have probably crawled back into your self after that and now you wont be as giving with information like that. But please dont let that ignorant person put you down. You done a very brave thing and no matter what any one said you had the balls to go up there and share. You should be proud of yourself. Its not your fault someone out there didnt appreciate your honesty. They dont deserve your attention. Dont let that person ruin that moment for you. Im sure other people appreciated it. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayjay4466 Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 Glamour and shine??? What course did she think she was on?? I used to work for social services before I became ill, working specifically with drug addicts, and the prejudice from fellow professionals against our client group was shocking at times. I learned very quickly not to assume that people who work in a caring profession are, in fact, caring people. You must have been furious (I would have been), but for what its worth, I don't think it was personal against you, although it probably felt like it. Its just an unfortunate fact of life that the narrow-minded even find their way into professions where you would least expect them! And fair play to you for having the courage to share your experiences! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insideoutgirl Posted March 22, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 I know I shouldnt.. but It just really upset me.. I felt like it was aimed directly at me... and as if they were ridiculing us. I know it is their problem.. and their issue. I'm just so angry about it and its worse because I don't know who it was.. so I'm going to be sat thinking who wrote that? next time I'm there. I guess some people will always be ignorant and thoughtless. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoppyCow96 Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 ((insideoutgirl)) like i said i understand your anger try not to let that person ruin this brave thing you did xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insideoutgirl Posted March 22, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 Don't waste anymore of your precious head space on that truly stupid comment.All it shows is that individual's complete lack of understanding of the subject.Pity them.But DO NOT take their ignorance to heart. And well done btw. You did a very brave thing & you should be praised. xxx No doubt this person will fail whatever qualifications they are going for- and if they did end up being a counsellor their patients would probaby leave of their own volition. *hugs* sorry they've hurt you so much, but be proud that you were brave, all the rest thought you guys did well didn't they? Their opinion is worth much more than any thoughtless idiots. Woe betide them when they want help, they could learn a lot from you. The glamour and shine bit is ridiculous... if they think that mental health issues have a glamour and shine aspect then they are on the wrong course and won't get far at all. they'll need all the luck they can get as they certainly have no flair for basic human compassion and understanding. I was so proud of you when i read you opened up like that. I can imagine that would of been very hard for you. But when i read the feedback you got... that made me angry. I agree with everything you said. Its not meant to be glossy if they wanted glossy and goodness they are obviously in the wrong place i cant believe the person who wrote that feedback was so insensitive and rude. Its unbelievable You opened up to everyone by choice and you didnt have to and that person just threw it in your face. I cant imagine how you feel right now.You have probably crawled back into your self after that and now you wont be as giving with information like that. But please dont let that ignorant person put you down. You done a very brave thing and no matter what any one said you had the balls to go up there and share. You should be proud of yourself. Its not your fault someone out there didnt appreciate your honesty. They dont deserve your attention. Dont let that person ruin that moment for you. Im sure other people appreciated it. xx Glamour and shine??? What course did she think she was on?? I used to work for social services before I became ill, working specifically with drug addicts, and the prejudice from fellow professionals against our client group was shocking at times. I learned very quickly not to assume that people who work in a caring profession are, in fact, caring people. You must have been furious (I would have been), but for what its worth, I don't think it was personal against you, although it probably felt like it. Its just an unfortunate fact of life that the narrow-minded even find their way into professions where you would least expect them! I And fair play to you for having the courage to share your experiences! Thankyou all for your responses. It's made me feel a little better. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and tearful and its really good to have your support. I feel it's like a very much needed hug right now. Its shocking what people get into the caring professions. I just don't understand what they think they are their for... like you all said .. if they are looking for glamour! Im tempted to tell my tutor as I feel it was no innapropriate and I cant even think about how this person may be making clients feel! I was/am furious. You are right.. compassion must not be a quality they have. I was/am furoious but also really upset. Everyone else seemed to appreciate it and alot of people told us so and how well wed done. I shall try and concentrate on this. It was a big step for me. A personal challenge. I am proud of myself. I just wish it hadnt bothered me so much what one person said. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoppyCow96 Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 Your a bit like me in a way if i did something like that and say even hundreds of people appreciate it and i got great feedback it would only take that one person to knock all that happiness out of me. So i understand its not your fault you got so emotional oveer it i would as well. Im glad your going to concentrate on the good feedback. We all we always be here to support you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyStrange Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 Now. What you need to do is get your own back on that stupid narrow-minded person. Anticipate that they will sit in on your lecture again. You will want to make them squirm in their seat! Call attention to what they said, without specifically addressing their comment or the topic of feedback. Just drive home the point of how they will fail at their careers if they think it is about "glamour and shine" and the naivety and stupidity of that thinking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 You asked what the point is;the point is youre going to make a great and emphatic counsellor that will help many! Dont lose sight of that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArtMatters Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 what I am taking away from my thing that I ranted about today.. and possibly you could take away here is this 'never argue with a stupid person cuz they will bring you down to thier level and beat you with experience' ......that's kind of the quote I'm choosing to focus on. Another thing I often say is 'you can't teach anyone who doesn't want to learn' when people pick ignorance that's thier choice...we don't have to agree with it but getting worked up over them will only hurt us and our energy... I think you need to let go and look at the big picture you never know someone else might have been really inspired by your story or it might make them feel brave enough to share thier experience with mental illness. Probably the people who would want to encourage it are too afraid. That's the problem and downfall with the extent of this stigma we carry. I know it can be frustrating when people go into fields that really aren't suited to them. Some of my friends who are social workers have very frustratingly closed minds around queer issues etc and it drives me bananas.. some of them are straight up biphobic... but when me and my other bisexual friends call them out on it they don't want to hear it. Many people have a hard time being accountable like that. But who knows maybe they'll come around on thier own one day. We have to remember too that everyones journey is on a different timeline, pace, schedule. I remember a time when I was very naive and ignorant about many things. Unfortunitely I think some people are still in this stage in adulthood and maybe they don't wake up until a bit later... or maybe they never do. Some people are here to make waves and some are just here for the ride. Remember to check the facts and to try not to interpret too much. The facts are you gave a brave speech and did a wonderful presentation. That for the most part it was really well recieved and you should be proud of your accomplishment. Don't let one little piece of gum ruin a perfectly good pair of shoes! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted March 22, 2013 Report Share Posted March 22, 2013 It sounds like an insensitive comment. So there was one piece of negative feedback. That is a shame and I hope that person has an attitude readjustment before they ever become a counsellor (if they do). But how many positive responses were there? Its easy to forget those, and focus on the negative things that hurt us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insideoutgirl Posted March 23, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2013 Now. What you need to do is get your own back on that stupid narrow-minded person. Anticipate that they will sit in on your lecture again. You will want to make them squirm in their seat! Call attention to what they said, without specifically addressing their comment or the topic of feedback. Just drive home the point of how they will fail at their careers if they think it is about "glamour and shine" and the naivety and stupidity of that thinking Love this idea! Ill make sure to mention something in check in. I have to wait until have to easter now though. Will have to plan what to say and make sure I stay calm! Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insideoutgirl Posted March 23, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2013 Some great advice. I Knoe I need to work on letting go rather than rethinking things over and over... and it is wasting my energy to the point of exhaustion. I think Ill meditate on that qoute for a while. ITS just ahrd not to keep thinking..I gave too much detail and maybe it wasnt appropriate. But... thinking now... appropriate to who? Someine who felt awkward because of their judgements. Its them that has to deal with that! what I am taking away from my thing that I ranted about today.. and possibly you could take away here is this 'never argue with a stupid person cuz they will bring you down to thier level and beat you with experience' ......that's kind of the quote I'm choosing to focus on. Another thing I often say is 'you can't teach anyone who doesn't want to learn' when people pick ignorance that's thier choice...we don't have to agree with it but getting worked up over them will only hurt us and our energy... I think you need to let go and look at the big picture you never know someone else might have been really inspired by your story or it might make them feel brave enough to share thier experience with mental illness. Probably the people who would want to encourage it are too afraid. That's the problem and downfall with the extent of this stigma we carry. I know it can be frustrating when people go into fields that really aren't suited to them. Some of my friends who are social workers have very frustratingly closed minds around queer issues etc and it drives me bananas.. some of them are straight up biphobic... but when me and my other bisexual friends call them out on it they don't want to hear it. Many people have a hard time being accountable like that. But who knows maybe they'll come around on thier own one day. We have to remember too that everyones journey is on a different timeline, pace, schedule. I remember a time when I was very naive and ignorant about many things. Unfortunitely I think some people are still in this stage in adulthood and maybe they don't wake up until a bit later... or maybe they never do. Some people are here to make waves and some are just here for the ride. Remember to check the facts and to try not to interpret too much. The facts are you gave a brave speech and did a wonderful presentation. That for the most part it was really well recieved and you should be proud of your accomplishment. Don't let one little piece of gum ruin a perfectly good pair of shoes! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyStrange Posted March 23, 2013 Report Share Posted March 23, 2013 hahaha trust me to be the only one here stuck on revenge thinking! The key here is to be extremely subtle... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted March 23, 2013 Report Share Posted March 23, 2013 Hi InsideOut, just wanted to say that I'm very proud of what you've done, it takes a lot of guts to open like that and I'm so sorry you fell on a stupid wrong-place person. It's truly disappointing how stupid the comment was. I hope you won't continue to rethink it, as it has no value since how wrong it was. Try to focus on the many positive comments you got, these are valuable. Maybe you can write them on paper to help the focus? Take care, dear, again you did a very brave thing and you're right to be proud of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insideoutgirl Posted March 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2013 Hi InsideOut, just wanted to say that I'm very proud of what you've done, it takes a lot of guts to open like that and I'm so sorry you fell on a stupid wrong-place person. It's truly disappointing how stupid the comment was. I hope you won't continue to rethink it, as it has no value since how wrong it was. Try to focus on the many positive comments you got, these are valuable. Maybe you can write them on paper to help the focus? Take care, dear, again you did a very brave thing and you're right to be proud of it. Thankyou =) Ive calmed down since but havent been back at uni yet since its the holidays. I am glad I did it still since then as it has something to do with self acceptance for me and acknowledging who I am. rather than pretending to be something else to get the approval of idiots like the person who gave that feedback! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dolphin92 Posted March 30, 2013 Report Share Posted March 30, 2013 "Glamour and shine", huh?! Since when was mental health and counselling about "glamour and shine"? These words honestly baffle me! :S It sounds like these are words coming from a person who is completely ignorant, so don't let them bring you down! You will be a much better counsellor than that person will ever be! And you should be proud of yourself for opening up about your experiences, it's not an easy thing to do and was very brave of you! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted March 30, 2013 Report Share Posted March 30, 2013 (((hug))) hope the rage wairs off soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimindigo Posted March 31, 2013 Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 Aha,you obviously did not know! As I have found out to my cost: There are insane people (no,I don't think that is going too far),who INFILTRATE these professions because they are A.Narcissistic,B.Extremely low self-esteem,C.Need to see others as 'below them', D. Behind the facade,completely off their rocker! E. All of the above. I'll never forget one little shit who had me crying (I was very vulnerable at the time). I wish I could I could see him now, well,maybe not,I'd get the jail for assault! Laugh at the loonies my love,laugh at them (they hate that). Oh,and another thing, ACCEPT YOUR SUPERIORITY OVER THEM--HONESTLY,IT'S TRUE!# Respect+Kindness, jimindigo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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