BlurryBluEyes Posted March 29, 2013 Report Share Posted March 29, 2013 How do you tell someone you love and don't want to leave you about your mental health problems? Why should you be scared they will leave you if you do? Why should you have to tell anyone? People with cancer don't have to warn others they have an illness and be treated differently like everything you do is down to your illness. This is why I find it so hard to tell and resent having to tell anyone I have mental health issues. In the past its always been used against me or people think its something I can just get over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArtMatters Posted March 29, 2013 Report Share Posted March 29, 2013 I can see where you're coming from forsure. I think it comes down to what you feel is best. I had a therapist tell me I don't need to tell anyone about my mh issues if I'm dating them....but I think I disagree. I feel like if I was in a relationship with someone if it was the right relationship they should be able to accept even this part of me. I feel like it would be dishonest to keep something that big a secret for me personally and it would also get in the way of me being open, honest and authentic which are all things I value. I think the timing is really hard though. Figuring out how and when. You don't want to blurt it out right away and scare them but you also don't want to wait too long so they feel like you've been hiding it from them. It's a tough call...but I think in the end a supportive partner should be able to take your baggage and deal with it, especially if they expect you to do the same in return ( I say this and yet I understand the fear and I myself really struggle with this so I'm definitely not saying it's easy). But I also think open and honest communication is key to making any relationship work as well as being able to fight effectively (we all eventually fight right but you can usually tell from couples how they fight if they will stay together or not) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bena.baby Posted March 29, 2013 Report Share Posted March 29, 2013 I don't tell many people. My best friends know but then I don't see them very often (all live far away.) My mum knows but we don't talk about it. I haven't told anyone else. It's stressful to hide it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlurryBluEyes Posted March 29, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 29, 2013 I agree with you that it feels dishonest and that its really hard to know when and how to say anything. I just resent the whole having a problem at all and don't want it to define me. Iv just told my boyfriend after not saying anything for so long cuz I was too scared and didn't know how and being pressured by other people to say something when I wasn't ready made me mad. Then someone else said something so I had to come clean I'm glad I have but I'm angry that someone else made me. I just hate the whole situation but there's some relief in being honest I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArtMatters Posted March 29, 2013 Report Share Posted March 29, 2013 I kind of know how you feel. My ex gf pressured me to come out to my family as queer/bisexual before I was ready...I would have liked more time to prepare etc...but the truth would have come out eventually anyways Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted March 29, 2013 Report Share Posted March 29, 2013 Hi BlurryBlu, you hit a pretty hard question. I too think that if you're going to spend long time with this person and be close together the truth will burst at the end anyways. It's just so uncomfortable and tricky to know when to say something about it. Maybe you can emphasize on the better aspects of it like saying you have a little problem but you are on medication/therapy to solve it and you try your best for it to be not too visible? Maybe you can make a list of all the good things your illness doesn't prevent you to do so he feels less it is a big problem? Best luck. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlurryBluEyes Posted March 29, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 29, 2013 Hey threemoons. Yes that's exactly what I tried to do. I said I don't like my problems defining me and that I am on medication and he has seen me long enough to know what I'm like and that's just me. I think he knew something was wrong but didn't know what and didn't want to ask and I was too scared to tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mooji Posted April 7, 2013 Report Share Posted April 7, 2013 I would like to make a suggestion. And it really is helpful (well its a matter of opinion and depends on how much of an open person you are) There is a Man on youtube called Mooji (no not me, i stole his name as a reminder of his power) who is very good at talking things through. He is a spiritual man and as far as I can see, has an answer to everything. As he says "You are the master, mind is your servant" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynnBXPrnvkU Id like to hear some feedback on this is posible. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.