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My Mind


SoppyCow96

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My mind is scaring me.Its getting darker. Its no longer satisfied with the punishments i give myself it wants more. And im concern. Whatt lengths is it going to make me go through?. My self harm has got dramatically worse over the last week. And more frequent.

From self harming once a week to two or three times a day! Whats wrong with me!? Every time im depressed or hurt or frustrated i make cuts over my body but now thats not good enough anymore. It wants me to cut deep and for the blood to pour out of me. And i want that too. :( im meant to be stopping but now i dont want to. I just want to feel pain.

Im not sure what to do anymore. I think i need serious help.

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Please don't do this to yourself. It's good that you know you need some help. Please see someone as soon as possible. Could you maybe post here every time you get the urge to hurt yourself and express the thoughts that you are feeling? {{{{{{{{soppygirl}}}}}

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Thanks for replying guys :) the doctor isnt answering the phone but i do have an appointment with him on thursday so i guess im just gunna have to wait until then :( ((orpyz)) Thats a good idea thank you ill try to do that but im getting scared to post things now because it seems ive been doing it a lot lately and by admitting to everyone im having a hard time i feel that its showing im weak. Does that make sense? xxx

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Yes, well in as much as I know how you feel but it doesn't make you weak, just that you might need a bit more support at the moment and you always give support to other people here - isn't that what we are all here for - to give each other mutual support? With the occasional exception when someone comes onto the threads with their own agenda, there is a fairly stable (as in regular!) set of people here who are around and who are going through pretty similar stuff or have done. I have been on here a relatively short length of time but just knowing that there are people here who are unshockable and who won't judge me and have walked the walk has been such a comfort. I hope that you can feel that too and post as much as you need to. It's a long time to wait until Thursday if you are in a crisis, so I hope you get through to your GP but in the meantime, take care of yourself {{{{{soppycow}}}}}}

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