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Going To Be Brave And Show Parents Arms


AmyP

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*poss trigger*

my parents do not take my mh probs seriously, despite them knowing ive been on a psych ward twice and numerous a&e visits. last time i saw them a few days ago they brought up, once again, that it might just be hormonal. they regularly hint that i just think too much about things and if i didnt think i had issues or didnt know so much about mh then i would be fine.

i cannot take them trivialising my struggles anymore it makes me doubt my own experiences and i dont take my own issues seriously because of it. i come close to maybe accepting that i might have some problems, and then they go and say something invalidating and im back to square one.

some of it could be that i always act okay in front of them, i cant help it the front just comes on. so they've never really seen me in crisis.

i have extreme scarring up the full lengths of both arms, there isn't a single space and there are some very large ones from when i refused to get stitches.

as a rule i do not show people. my mh team have never seen them, neither have my family or anyone i know. the only people who have is my bf who i live with, and when i have had to have stitches.

i've tried to explain to my parents my problems, ive talked to them, sent them information, website links, all that lot. yet they still refuse to believe that i need help.

so after talking to my bf, we agreed i should try and show them my arms. as they say, a picture paints a thousand words.

i dont know how they are going to react. im terrified. but i feel like this is the only way they will listen.

please, i really need some good luck and support

x

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Good luck Pan, this is an extremely brave thing you are doing. I hope that it yields the results you wish for. Whatever happens remember that we are here for you, as is your boyfriend and bear in mind how brave you are for taking this step even though you are so scared.

You're most likely already aware that they may react in various different ways, not everyone is good at acknowledging and accepting difficult things and emotions and it sounds like your parents don't know how to handle things and prefer 'not to think' about these things as they can't handle their own emotions. I speak from experience as my parents have given the same 'explanations' for my struggles too. It's just them now knowing how to handle the fear and worry that comes with the territory.

I very much admire what you are doing Pan, wishing you lots of luck and sending lots of support xx

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thankyou kit hun. im not sure if im more scared they will be dismissive, or they will explode with worry. i guess im used to them being angry and nasty so i can deal with that. if they did actually take it seriously i dont know how i'd deal with it.

when i was in a&e after trying to kill myself last year, my mother sat glaring at me through tears saying 'you cant keep doing this to us' and 'your living on borrowed time' 'why cant you move on'. my father then went to tell me nastily that i was 'looking at him like shit'.

that's the kind of treatment and response that im used to. i guess thats what im expecting, but i have to keep hoping that one day they will react with love and compassion. i have to keep trying.

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Well if you change your mind and dont show them, then dont worry. you are in control.

If you don't get the reaction you want then try not to take it to hard. Sometimes people don't want you to be ill so they try and pretend your not. My partner always normalises my problems, I think because she doesn't want me to have mental health problems, still it's frustrating as hell :-/.

Please let us know how you get on x

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Hi Pandora. It's up to you to decide weither you want to show your arms or not. This may be very scary for you and it will certainly be scary for your parents so I hope their reaction won't be too extreme. They could react with a lot of emotion. I mean, hope all goes OK for you. Take care dear. Sending you hugs.

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i didn't manage to do it. couldnt just bring it up and a suitable conversation never came up. hopefully when the time comes i'll be able to do it

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