One Of Many Dreams

[Riverspell]

This was a dream I had a couple years deep in one of my depressive phases, before I was ever diagnosed. That came several months later. The stag in this clip is, actually was, my companion for many months. Mine and his relationship is very personal to me and no one's been able to explain his existence so I'm told he's just another hallucination. But to me he was so much more. The night this dream happened, I had written out my farewell notes and collected what I needed to kill myself when I passed out from sheer exhaustion. I would have killed myself in the morning if this dream and his presence hadn't happened. He was there in my sleep and I woke to him lying beside me. He's quite the bed hog!! If anyone is willing to help me figure out who Aras, the stag, was I would appreciate it. Please don't mock me!!!

It was cold. A deep, aching cold that her shivers could not abate. A cold that encompassed her entire being, was her reality. Sweeping her into dark places as she closed her eyes against the biting chill. Closed her eyes to forget and banish that pale world from her thoughts.

Tears spilled unbidden from her eyes, freezing to her lashes as the bitter wind gusted. The air seared her lungs, stung her face, and burned a trail down bared arms. Racking breaths sent waves of tearing pain down her spine as the cold grew. Her chest seized and she fought for breath, the tears pouring more than ever now. Yet it was not the pain that brought the choking sobs.

She was alone. Lying there helpless and cold and forgotten. A dying creature to be left to a snowy tomb and no remembrance.

When darkness swallows the world and the bitter, cold oppression takes it's hold on you.

The pain had grown still. She lay without moving, numb now to the chill and the fire that burned through her body. Numb to the pain, the cold and the bitter emptiness. Her eyes gazed sightlessly ahead as her breath rattled in her chest.

Something soft caressed her pale cheeks and her eyes flickered. Another brush and another and she turned her face from the freezing grass to the star blazed heavens. It was snowing. Soft feathers as like stars tumbled down and despite the deep numbness a smile flickered there. Faint light stirred in the pale eyes as fingers flinched in the vanishing grass.

The snow gave her brief clarity from the fading depths of her mind. In the intricate forms she found a measure of peace and contentment to accept what her heart already cried. She knew she was going to die.

When no songs sing in your heart and only painful tears play to the echoing silence.

She stirred after what felt like hours, exhaustion and fear overwhelming her. Unbidden memories fought her mind for dominance as she sank deeper into the paralyzing realization that she was really dying. That her situation was so hopeless that the only way out was simply to lie here and wait. No one would find her out here. No one would come.

Warmth blossomed against her back then and she unconsciously moved closer. Firm weight pressed back against her and tears formed anew. She knew what awaited her fingertips as she stretched out to touch her companion. Soft, warm fur caressed her fingers and beneath she felt the powerful beats of the stag's mighty heart.

Pain racked her own as she whispered his name and tears spilled down her cheeks. He laid his head across her body, arching antlers reaching for the twilit sky, as his powerful voice rose softly in song.

When all hope has faded and death's desperation remains.

Pain faded at his touch and the cold vanished. Her breath came easier with each passing moment and the tears slowed. The turmoil within her mind eased and ceased. The fear and shame and guilt fading with the memories and anxieties. Sleep overcame her then and her eyes slid closed to the soft, loving strains of song.

His warm, brown eyes watched her body still and her mind slow as her eyes closed and she slept. Still he sang, his voice soft and powerful as he raised his proud head to the pale sky. The snow slowed and stopped as light gathered below the horizon. In the distance the sound of life giving rain could be heard.

And still he sang. He sang until the sun rose in the east and snow sank into the soil. His loving strains played as the flowers bloomed and the trees grew tall.

When the final tears are shed and the shadows blind your sight.

I'll be there to see the sun again and I'll show the way. You'll watch the rising sun and find the path again.