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The Anorexia Voices..


Becca95

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Well, I have anorexia, amongst other things. I've been struggling with trying to eat enough. I recently put on 1.1kg which is the most I've put on since the beginning. At first, it didn't bother me but now.. I feel fat, look fat, feel absolute rubbish inside and out, want to empty my stomach all the time, just really unhappy with everything right now. The biggest thing at the moment is feeling and looking fat, of course everyone else just says I'm being stupid and I'm a skeleton. I do see that sometimes and I do see it in places but overall, my stomach is horrible, my legs are horrible and my bum is horrible. Not happy with any part of me, don't want to put on more weight, I don't really want to get better but if I give up, I die.. Just can't stop hating the feeling of being fat.. :(

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Are u recieving help? sry if u have posted before. Really are u getting help with ur eating disorder? Understand how u feel in how ur body looks, but u do need help. Also u said urself, if u don't eat or gain some weight is u will die. That is the outcome with what we do, so u need the help and make the choice in doing what is best for u and make urself feel worth the wanting. I am no expert, but i know about how i feel about myself and really its about how u feel about urself and the people around u. Hope ur ok xx

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Thank you for replying Barbones, I am getting help, I've had help for around 6-7 months.. I go to CAMHS Eating Disorder clinic and I'm having hypnotherapy. Up till now I've just been so desperate to get better but now I just hate everything, it's all really getting to me now. Thanks, i hope you're ok too :) xx

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Hi Becca,

It's really good to hear that you have made an improvement! I think it's normal while you are trying to overcome your demons to have flare ups where you question your want to actually overcome them- that's normal. I wish I could offer you some great advice on what to do but all I can offer is a *big hug* and suggest that you keep going because you are doing so well. Perhaps you could investigate ways to challenges those thoughts and feelings whcih threaten to drag you down and know that you can overcome this and live a good life and feel comfortable and balanced with how you feel and look, it may seem a long way off bit a step at a time will lead you there!

Perhaps you could look into something to pour your frustrations and energies into? Perhaps writing stories or making things/ art or music? Something to soothe your soul xxx

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Thank you so much Kitsune, very kind words and encouragement. I think you're right in the fact I just need to soldier on as usual an hopefully one day everything will go back to normal. I'll try and leave the thoughts at the back of my head. Thanks for the ideas and thank you again :) xxx

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