*poss Trigger Eating/food* Didn't Know Where To Post Not Really Related To My Bpd But Oh Well...

[ArtMatters]

Ok I'm embarassed even bringing this up and I have been thinking of bringing it up for awhile but am scared to talk about it cuz if I talk about it I have to admit that it's a thing and I don't really want to admit that it's a thing

I haven't been eating well and I'm not sure if it's just normal low appetite from my fibromyalgia or if I'm letting it escalate into something more

I don't want to eat when I'm in pain etc......and the weed used to help with this..and still does to some extent.....but I feel I have a much decreased desire to eat even when I treat the pain now

I would say for a couple months now I haven't been eating more than one meal a day.....and some days I don't eat at all or just have coffee or a snack or something

I make excuses not to eat- that I'm broke, have low energy from the chronic fatigue, don't want to clean up after cooking etc, that I have no appetite anyways so why force it, etc

I mean I don't think it's an eating disorder because I still eat normally sometimes and am capable so it's not that but....I can see a pattern starting and I'm not sure if it's normal because of my physical illness or if I'm letting it get out of hand a bit

also I don't quite understand what I see when I look at my body anymore.....sometimes I think I've gained a bunch of weight, sometimes I think I've lost it and sometimes I think I look the same I can only really judge once i step on a scale (which I purposefully don't own and only weigh myself at the doctor) or by what people tell me or if my clothes fit

but I do feel pressure now to keep the weight off also because ok here's what happened.......I lost weight before from the fibro originally and I was about the size I am now and people made a huge deal out of it saying how much healthier I looked (lol) and bla bla blah and how much better and nice things etc............then I gained most of it back when I went through a period of depression etc was a lot less active and eating more etc.......thennnnnnn I started having low appetite and lost it again.......and that's where I am at now

but I feel like that's another excuse I use not to eat is that I'm still slightly overweight but yet closer (probably about 10lbs away from being a good weight for my height) and that I don't want to gain it back

I don't really know if I have a question or anything I just feel like being quiet about this might not be a good thing and maybe I should say something before it becomes a thing

[PDBPD]

Weight loss is best achieved and maintained with a healthy diet.....not periods of fasting....or self punishment?

Steve

[ArtMatters]

I know but the factor is the low appetite because it's not just about mentality I physically most of the time right now don't desire food and even at times feel repelled by it

[ArtMatters]

I have to say I regret posting about this already cuz now I feel ashamed and shame is my trigger emotion lol

[PDBPD]

I don't want you to feel ashamed....

[ArtMatters]

no it's not you it's just really hard for me to talk about for some reason

[Pickle59]

(((Artmatters)))............it's good and healthy you talking truthfully about where you are at with food and you right now...........by getting it out here, and seeing it and not keeping it to yourself, hopefully you can get back to some more good and healthy eating..............coming from someone who struggles to eat healthily or regularly.............so you have helped me by posting about this...........xxx I will if you will OK?.......Pickles.xxx

[ArtMatters]

deal pickles...I'm giving in and making pasta right now and am gonna try to eat it cuz all I've had so far today is coffee and I didn't eat much yesterday either......I'm hoping once I start eating it I will start enjoying it...am trying a new recipe so hopefully that helps

[Pickle59]

Ahhhhhhhhhh......Ive got some pasta in the cupboard.............thanks for the idea ..............it's a bit late really, but all I have had today, is one homemade blueberry muffin..........1 hobnob...........and endless cups of tea.................so............into action I go, and I'm going to make some pasta, and hopefully that might help me to sleep too...............but if you hadn't posted this thread, I could have easily not eaten anything else today.................and then I wonder why I'm not in such great shape at mo...................it is fuel after all isn't it.....................Must remember to treat my body like my car....................My car will not run without enough fuel.................compute compute..............therefore, my body must be treated with the same requirements..............(((Artmatters)))..........I really hope you will enjoy your pasta..............Pickles.xxx

[mousie]

i have food issues

not saying you have

but i do

been through anorexia

bulimia

impulse and comfort....

and the punishment stuff

one thing i read a while ago

i liked it

so thought it may be useful

some folks do this restricted calorie thing

they know that if they eat little amounts

that they will get ill if they eat crap

so they avoid empty calorie stuff

and eat highly nutritious stuff in small amounts

so their calorie intake is low

but their nutrition is high standard

just thought i'd share

cos it make sense to me

and was appealing

and i'm trying to follow this idea

hope this is useful

[Orpyz]

That's actually a good idea. Nuts for example - high calorie, high nutrition so don't have to eat too much. Eating problems, such a nightmare, however they present. You are not alone. (((Artmatters)))

[Becca95]

Firstly, I don't think you should feel ashamed. Secondly, I have an eating disorder and I physically feel incapable of eating sometimes and I just hate food and drink with a passion. However, I eat three meals a day and 2 snacks on a good day and I still have an eating disorder, quite a bad one actually, losing weight every week despite everything. Sometimes, it's about your thoughts and stuff that matters. So I think what I'm trying to say is because you still eat doesn't mean you don't have an eating disorder and I know how it feels to not want to eat at all so I send you big hugs! I hope you start to feel better xx