So Sorry

[getmeoutahere]

So sorry I couldnt be in chat and here tonight. At around 6pm I got a phone call from a fellow DJ who was a little stuck at a large hotel becayse there was 2 function rooms on. Both venues were covered but the other guy was using CDs and no modern music at all so had to get suited and booted tonight even though didnt want to do it and go out and perform which was very very very hard for me as I have not been out for almost a year.

Had a couple of axiety attacks whilst I was there so had to go out for 10 mnutes or so each time and try to carm down and relax while the bloke carried on with his CDs.

I have my own entertainment business but I have not relaunched as of yet because I am very nervous about it and kinda lost my confidence as I lost my business in Jan with a marriage break up.

Got all sorts of emotions tonight from not wanting to be there to overpowering feelings of I should be there to panic, anxiety but had to work through it and succeded but it was dead hard.

I feel a little like shit now and back to same old same old. Its a performance that I put on when I work but its not the real me. Im still trying to get back the real me and have been for quite a while.

So to help a friend I had to go out tonight to work in a very stressfull environment but hey, I did it and Im happy Ive done it so at least thats a hurdle I have done.

So wasnt avoiding you all tonight so please dont think anything bad about me not in here. I will try to be in here as often as I can.

Didnt get paid it was to help a friend out who was stuck and who wanted to make sure the night went right by the other bloke who was in the function room so he wanted me there to help him.

Ended up doing most of the night.

Hope everyone is ok, thinking bout you

[pepsimeg]

You did really well to do all that considering you had.to keep going out and dealing with anziety.

And you didnt get paid but the experience being out there again must of helped ?

Take it easy now

Emo x

[Threemoons]

Hi and welcome on the forums. You don't have to be sorry, you did nothing wrong. It's all at your honor to have helped your friend.

Come here have a talk just when you want.

And well done for managing your anxiety this night, it sure wasn't a easy job.

[getmeoutahere]

I answer a lot of posts mainly because I want to feel welcome by others and to share my feelings as well so sorry if that seems like I am craving attention which Im not. My mind races quite a lot of the time and at times I have to get things off my chest but Im also a very open person as well. So please dont take offence at this its just me and I dont mean anything by it but I can relate to so many things in here and what others are going through.

[Threemoons]

Again, there's no problem with that, RetroPhil. I'm the same, replying to many posts just to help and get things out of my mind. Nobody will take offense for that, you're welcomed here;