Havehope Posted December 19, 2013 Report Share Posted December 19, 2013 I`ve got to a point in my life now that I choose to be with friends and people that I want to be with....rather than think I should be `loyal` and not have to ` put up` with manipulative and damaging friendships....I`m finding real freedom in this.. I believe friendships can run their course and it's time to' move on' and 'let go' when they do rather than hang on to them ...it isn't easy at first as the difficulty is knowing how to do it gently and inoffensively... I have changed, friends have changed and the initial bonds that once brought us together aren`t there anymore.... Is this though a symptom of my BPD or is my view a ` balanced` one ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morethanme Posted December 19, 2013 Report Share Posted December 19, 2013 I would think it is you changing for the better and lettting go of friends that are damaging is a very good step. Well done. I did this a year back. Had a real toxic friend but i felt sorry for her and forgave her and forgave her then i realised she just kept using me and abusing me emotionally so i realised be unhappy or move away from the friendship. Was hard cos i went back again after a while but then after she started again i realised it had to be permanent. Now im free from her and very happy and not verbally or emotionally abused. Yes i may be alone but i dont regret it one bit. I will one day meet a friend that i deserve i hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopeangel Posted December 19, 2013 Report Share Posted December 19, 2013 Yes yes yes!! Strongly agree - ditch toxic friends asap, like yesterday! Save yourself from this vileness!! Me and my other half forgave and forgave people for all the smaller stuff but they tried to destroy us - people like that cannot see a person do ok and will not only drain your energy while you are with them, they are more often than not planning some smear campaign or other behind your back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted December 20, 2013 Report Share Posted December 20, 2013 I let go from time to time of interactions that don't hold function and growth. A true healthy relationship can whether all storms. I am intentionally not on facebook because I do not want to have to bother with reconnecting with my past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoobub Posted December 23, 2013 Report Share Posted December 23, 2013 No, I don't think it's a symptom of your BPD, I think it's human nature. I think going back to the damaging relationships is a symptom, I did this (and still do to a lesser extent now) for years & years & it doesn't seem to help anyone involved. I try to keep in mind that some people change, many don't sadly, but I think it's worth checking on if the relationship is important to you, but not when you're at a low point xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted December 28, 2013 Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 I'm quite good at letting people go. What I can't do is work out which ones are worth hanging onto. So I let them all go. They all have a negative effect in a way because interaction is so scary and stressful but there probably are people where it's worth fighting through the stress. I think your view is balanced. I think in a way bpd might play a part because a lot of people don't care if they have anything in common with the people around them, it's all about proximity. I think people with bpd often care more about that? But I don't think wanting true friendships is a negative thing, they are much more rewarding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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