kyeannefaye Posted December 30, 2013 Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 My name is Kyeanne, I'm 17, I live with my boyfriend because im not aloud to live with my family... I have BPD, psychosis and OCD... I was recently in Bently mental ward for 2 weeks after being hospitalized for 23 days for number 9 attempted suicide, but im happy to say with my new medication im doing lots better now, I have a job I work 3 days a week, I don't get to see my daughter much, and my dad and brother are always drunk so I don't like to be around them and mum lives 3 hours away and with no license I cant get to her. she had a brain aneurism almost 2 yeard ago on feb 14 2014, I found her on the kitchen floor in our old house, I still remember the look on her lifeless face, heart breaking. If I had of found her sooner she would have had a better outcome... The reason im here is because im thinking of suicide again, and don't give me the shit about how its not worth it, because were all born to die, id rather choose how I damn well do it rather than have someone choose for me... I'm feeling like I want to throw my medication away, run away with no food and just the clothes on my back, that way ill have no choice ill have to die, i'd rather be in a ditch. But them again Emily as much as she hurts me she always tries to make me wake up and get through things, but I don't like when she is around, she isn't very nice... But its really sad now that all my scars are going away, I ran out of room on my arms so started on my legs, but I don't like being near my privates... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piercepd Posted December 30, 2013 Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 I've been trying to think of something to say to this all fuckin' day, without it sounding glib or "giving you the shit about how it's not worth it." Truth is, I can't come up with a damned thing other than, I've been there more times than I care to remember, as have many, many others on this forum. You've come to the right place for support & to be open with people who really get it. With what you've been through with everything, I'm not surprised you want to chuck the meds & disappear. I get that you're not a fan of Emily being around & using the tough love approach on you, I've had similar friends that I've put through hell for helping me. Eventually one of them called the police & had me committed. It was the only way she could continue to care & keep me safe. One thing I've learnt is that scars fade, feelings don't & you'll run out of body before you run out of brain. Hope you've made it through the day, be proud of that achievement. And yeah, I've rambled & probably not said a lot but I wanted you to know that you're not alone with this shit, no matter how much you feel it. Random internet strangers care too!! PD PS - I like the pair of upper lip piercings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandalftheginge Posted December 30, 2013 Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 Hmmm, well all I can say is that I felt really sad reading that, it must have taken some strength to write that down. I don't think I could ever imagine how tough you've had it, but I wish I could do something to help. I just sincerely hope that things improve for you and I believe they can Warmest hugs, Ash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lalissa Posted January 5, 2014 Report Share Posted January 5, 2014 Hi Kyeanne, how are you doing? sounds like you been going through a whole lot of really really painful shit, i'm sorry. hope v much you come back and talk to people here, bloody devastating to think of you in a ditch. xx lali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted January 7, 2014 Report Share Posted January 7, 2014 Hi and welcome to the forums, I hope that you can find what you are looking for here xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 8, 2014 Report Share Posted January 8, 2014 hello and welcome to the forums Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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