Threemoons Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Okay, it's up to you to decide when you're ready and when you are not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheeky_lilly Posted February 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2014 I just want to starve myself so badly now. I haven't eaten in a while as was between AE, police (very unhelpful) and hospital appts (I was in urinary retention as well as severe tachycardia so needed to attend clinics for all the embarrassing things) I hate my life now. I am prepared for starving myself to death. I would keep on loosing weight but no one would notice. I could make sure of that. It is so easy. Life is too difficult. I am failing in everything I do. I need a quick and easy way to go. Starvation seems the easiest although not quick. Any other ideas? Please help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lalissa Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 hey lily.. i have read your posts with feeling, i feel for your suffering, i don't have the answers for you hon, i wish i did.. it's good you are seeing a therapist.. can you tell them about the struggle with food... you don't need me to tell what a terrible vicious circle of no food and low mood you can get caught up in, the more you go without the harder it is to start.. three moons has wise words for you, small steps... is there any way in which you can nourish yourself instead of starve... ? healthy, low fat, low odour, raw fruit and veg.. feed yourself with nutrients and love... i know that may sound impossible but all the same its what i wish for you, but i don't criticise you, i know for myself how hard it is to move from punish to nurture... (((((hugs))))) xx lali xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheeky_lilly Posted February 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 I have been trying but I fear I am not managing well... In not quite sure though. I started living on stock cubes. They fill me up and warm me up.it should be fine right? Am I right? :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted February 13, 2014 Report Share Posted February 13, 2014 How do you feel today, Lilly? And forgive me but I don't know what stock cubes are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheeky_lilly Posted February 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2014 Stock cubes https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQBSH4quf-qPiv7TKd8TFwFDazLGbNMhvtK7tRwRC-O5DeKMjIV I was offered - just to think a bout- an inpatient treatment at an ED ward. Mainly because they said they don't know how much further they can allow me to slip... If you know what i mean??? I feel pretty unwell... but trying to eat salad.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted February 14, 2014 Report Share Posted February 14, 2014 Oh, it seems that my computer won't load the picture from your link, Lilly. Anyway, I hope you feel better soon. I'm glad they offered you help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheeky_lilly Posted February 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2014 Im trying... Im just not sure a hospital like that is worth trying for me... I am not on dangerous weight... Im just not eating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted February 15, 2014 Report Share Posted February 15, 2014 Not eating is dangerous, even if your BMI is still good. But you're the one who know best what can help you and what can't. Just please keep trying eating small amounts. Friendly, Threemoons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheeky_lilly Posted February 15, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2014 Thank you... I am really torn. Because I know that I could benefit from going to the hospital, for my ED to help me sort out my eating in anenvironment where I cannot step backwards just forwards... But this would mean stress. Stress of going into the hospital- which I hate. Stress to admit I am not well, stress to be around people that are skinnier than I am. Stress of trying to sort this situation with uni- I dont take suspension into an option- here is too much to lose and even though I was certain I failed my exams- I didnt. And they were opposed o what I thought- I am still not happy with them though. But it is me. But I was also told that profesionals involved in my care have a dilemma- they don't know how far they can let me 'go'. Which for them meant the fact how much self harming i did recently including overdoses, not eating and just becomming more depressed and naxious with OCD thoughts... And I am afraid it may mean doing something against my will.. So I dont know if I can do something now to have decision MYSELF or pray that things will improve by a miracle and I will find community support more beneficial and helpdul.. I am confusd with my thoughts... a lot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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