Audrey_Hepburn Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 I know it is the best to be as sincere as you can in therapy. I usually have no problems with that. To be concrete, I meant about sex. How much is it ok to tell, not to cross a line of being explicit. Sex issues are very important to me and I've recently become sexualy active and there are many things that I have problems with, and don't know how to tell him without being explicit or vulgar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 The only way to know is to ask him how he feels if you talk about these issues. I'm sure he will be fine as therapists are used to stuff like this but at least if u asking it is reassuring for you and help you to feel comfortable with opening up Good luck Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey_Hepburn Posted February 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 thank you... see, I forgot to considere it. telling him how I feel about talking that matter, I'd get a clear response thanx again xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashleigh22 Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 in my opinion therapy should be open to every topic... with me i didn't ask (although i think its a good idea and you should ask) i just went for it because it was the sole reason for a lot of my problems and my therapist just reacted like i asked her what the weather would be like tomorrow, that made me feel really relaxed and able to talk to her, so I'm not sure if it depends of your therapist... so yeah i would ask first xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chip2014 Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 I don't see why you can't be open and honest about sex, I recently had a lovely discussion with my male pdoc about a lump I found on my breast lol Chip x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey_Hepburn Posted February 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 chip, you gave me a good laugh x well, I don't know how to mention him some issues I have for example considering oral stimulation, or some of the (dirty) talk I have with my partner during sex ... and similiar and those are the things that affect me a lot and make me miserable but how can I talk about it? when I talk about sex with him (and I avoid it) I mention the terms "penetrating" and "other sexual stuff" and that doesn't really help me say the problem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piercepd Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 In my opinion & experience, the best bet is to open your mouth & speak. The point of therapy is to get things out of your brain & communicated with the therapist. If you panic around about how to phrase it & whether or not it's ok to broach a certain subject then you're setting yourself up for more worries. Just say it as it's on your brain, the therapist will soon guide the conversation to the best way of phrasing it. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mousie Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 for a therapist its an honour when a client trust them and the depth of that trust can be expressed in open, unfiltered disclosure therapists have supervision that's where they can work on anything they are not sure about and they've had years of their own therapy so their own stuff doesn't get in the way so that they can focus on you nothing should be taboo the only boundaries are if you're seriously harming someone or someone's seriously harming you ie in cases of abuse and terrorism they're obliged to report otherwise the key thing is if its important to you then its important for the therapist to be with you no matter what the issue and if its beyond them and their training they can refer you on to someone that has that skillset etc its very common for clients to worry that they're going to be too much for their therapist in all my years of practice it never happened i hope that's useful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinyshine Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 One thing to consider is that your therapist may not have a huge amount of expertise in dealing with sexual counselling/therapy. They may suggest you see another person for it who specialises in those areas, which could be difficult. I hope they help you out with your sexual issues, a good therapist is definitely something to hang on to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted February 17, 2014 Report Share Posted February 17, 2014 It's really difficult. I usually start off with "do you mind if I talk about..." and see what their reaction is. If they're obviously uncomfortable I tend not to talk about it. I think you ought to be able to talk to your therapist about sexual issues as so many mh problems are related to sex in some way but therapists are individuals and if they are older therapists from a time when it wasn't discussed or if they are the opposite sex from or if it's just something they don't like to discuss it might be difficult for them to talk to you about it. But if that happens it's the therapist's failing not yours. You should be able to talk about things like that. I find it helps to use the most scientific words possible when I'm talking to to doctors and therapists. It makes it seem less personal and that makes it easier to talk about. My mum taught me that sex is a rude word and even though I disagree with her now I just can't say that word to anyone official like a doctor or a therapist (except sometimes if they say it first). I have to say intercourse or copulation but I do find that easier. I'm not saying you should call it that but there are lots of different words for it, ok there are some terms a therapist might object to but if you can find the word that's least uncomfortable to say that might make a difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey_Hepburn Posted February 21, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2014 thank you everyone it was rather easy when I mentioned sex during last therapy,I was like "I don't know how much is it ok to say about sex as I don't want to be explicit or vulgar..." and he said smth like "oh, anything, whatever comes to your mind" and seemed like I asked him about the weather. so, it's much easier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 I'm really glad you were able to talk to him, I hope you found it helpful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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