SomeKindaCyan Posted February 17, 2014 Report Share Posted February 17, 2014 I'm happy I've found this place, My loved ones would like me to enter therapy. It's hard to explain to them that I've tried that before and due to my passive nature I will just lie. I don't want them to sit there and tell me what is wrong with me, I'm already well aware. I've been Borderline for about 12 years now, the worst flares ups being in my late teens and early twenties. While things have died down in some ways, they have flared up in others. I do not like to leave my house, but I force myself to work in a call center. I desperately want to not be alone anymore, but I push everyone away because I can't take being hurt or rejected again. I've moved to a remote location, and lied to all of the people who used to be my friends about where, so no one knows where to find me. I feel an awful mess to be honest. I don't like to talk to people face to face about what's going on behind the mask, and most people don't even know I'm sick. I am, however; reaching a boiling point so to speak so I thought I would give this a try. I look forward to getting to know everyone, and hope you are all doing well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted February 17, 2014 Report Share Posted February 17, 2014 Hey welcome to the forum I hope you find answers here Looking forward to seeing you around Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomeKindaCyan Posted February 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2014 Thank you for the warm welcome. Even if I don't find answers I will settle for Kinship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandalftheginge Posted February 17, 2014 Report Share Posted February 17, 2014 Welcome to the forum There are loads of lovely people here, I hope you find the help you need. I've had some trouble with isolation before and I know how it can spiral out of control. Feel free to message me if you'd like to chat. Ash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted February 17, 2014 Report Share Posted February 17, 2014 welcome : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomeKindaCyan Posted February 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2014 Thank you all for the welcome. I'm really interested to see the mental health handling difference between the UK and the US. Here it's still kind of taboo to get this diagnosis. My therapist put me in isolation when they told me for fear I'd act out. Just for the record I run from butterflies (any insect scares me.) Edited to add: Most people do too. >.< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lalissa Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Hiya.. Hope you can keep posting here and maybe feel not quite so isolated... Welcome. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted February 18, 2014 Report Share Posted February 18, 2014 Hello and welcome to the forum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted February 19, 2014 Report Share Posted February 19, 2014 Hey there cyan, welcome to the forums . Thanks for replying to my post, I am sorry for what you have been through, hugs. You are in the right place here.... You can be your true self without fear. Do you find it difficult to open up in therapy?, you said that you lie. Maybe you need to find the right therapist and therapy for you?. I am just starting EMDR. It specifically can help with trauma and how you feel about yourself. Over here in the UK personality disorder is still quite poorly dealt with I feel. I have been pushed and pulled all over the place and the crisis team just don't really know how to deal with it either (not in the midlands). I have been treated poorly by hospital doctors too!!, I generally try to look after myself now with some help from medication. I hope that you feel welcome xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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