Happiness

[piercepd]

"Happiness? Yeah that's not something I've really experienced. It's more something I take from other people." Discuss.

[cheeky_lilly]

I know when to act happy. When I am expected to act happily. Not something I necessarily feel

[Safiya]

Hmm, I've been thinking about this one over the last few days as it happens. I identify with what you said Cheeky Lilly - it so often feels like am acting as if' rather than authentically feeling happy.
Sadly am coming to conclusion am not capable of spontaneous happiness - I suspect am suffering from depression as well as anxiety/BPD - and that have always suffered from depression, thus the not able to feel happy thing. It struck me also that I find 'having fun' really puzzling - how do people do that?! I'd love to know, I only ever managed to join in with that by getting drunk, and now I don't drink and realise am missing the 'fun' gene. I'd love to discover it!

Other thing, re: happiness ... when I saw the CMHT nurse we discussed happiness briefly ... and what it is ... I don't think it's a state of being that outs there, to be achieved - I think that's quite deceptive, as we can chase things that we think 'will make us happy' only to find that they don't if the real source of our unhappiness is within ourselves. I think happy is probably, for me, a state of being in the present moment when I'm doing something I enjoy, like gardening for instance. That contentedness is probably 'happy' for me.

[Lily-Bee]

I think is happy is not the thing to strive for, no one is happy as a general state, happiness is moments. Like when something nice happends. It is not a state of being,

I think better to strive for contentment, to be ok with youre at, to be content with it, satisfied.

And its good to realize that things like sorrow and pain are a fact of life but you can learn to embrace that.

I myself feel happy sometimes, content quite often and then other times sad, angry, anxious etc,

This I think is normal.