buzzybee Posted March 9, 2014 Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 Hello there, Well Im new here, i felt it was about time to step out from my bubble of denial and start taking responsibility for my mental health and admit that I do actually have a problem, which admittedly has been around since i was a teenager, I'm now 48. In saying that i need to start taking responsibility, I'm being quite unfair on myself, as I have actually been in therapy (4 years in total) and since trained as a counsellor, although I've not practiced for a couple of years. No one has ever given me the nudge to suggest BPD and thats more than likely because I hate to be labled, as labels for me as an individual scare the hell to of me..and people in the UK (and worldwide) still don't handle the area of 'mental health' very well. So rather than be outed by someone else, I'm doing it myself and admitting, yes I do and have for many years fit the criteria for BPD. Plus the psychiatric system in the UK, isn't particularly helpful to people (largely women), who have experienced abuse and struggle with triggers and the symptoms associated with trauma (not that all people with the diagnosis of BPD have been abused, but in my personal experience most have and I most certainly have). Having worked in the field of mental health for many years on and off, I have experienced how people with a diagnosis get treated and I've always feared being treated in the same way myself, so Ive hidden how I've felt/ behaved in private very well over the years, but I've not been able to hide it so well from the people who are in my immediate life. The other issue is that i don't want to be pumped full of drugs, been there many times over the years when i have hit a major crisis and the medication left me feeling terrible, fat and numb, so I want to be able to learn from others who have worked through their difficulties in a more natural way, rather than go down the synthetic route. Im here to learn, understand and find comfort in the fact that Im not alone and that there are others out there who can empathise with how I feel on a day to day basis, as at the moment I'm feeling that old familiar feeling, which i have described many times in therapy before 'that I feel I'm an alien in a world that simply doesn't understand'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted March 9, 2014 Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 Hi Buzzybee, welcome to the forum and good on you for taking responsibility for your mental health! Hope that you find the forum useful on your journey xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misery1980 Posted March 9, 2014 Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 Hi and welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted March 10, 2014 Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Warm welcome aboard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted March 11, 2014 Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 Hi there and welcome to the forums :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzzybee Posted March 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2014 Thank you to everyone for your kind welcoming :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I_Love_Cheeses Posted March 12, 2014 Report Share Posted March 12, 2014 Hi Buzzy. I was interested in your story. Very interested as you are coming at it from both sides of the spectrum, as t'were. I'm told the best Counsellors are those with some level of difficulty themselves! It makes for empathy I suppose. And your comments about the health services here in the UK are spot on I think - my husband and I have both experienced this, he more than me. I especially liked what you said about not being labelled. I have to say that others LIKE to put you in a box with a label, as it's more tidy. And I certainly ended up more pleased with a label than not, although it took me three quarters of my life to get to that point. However, when I DID put the various symptoms into one box and started naming it, I felt a sort of tidiness and finality myself, for what it's worth. It made it a lot easier also to explain it to other people. For the first time since my teens, last year I was put on strong anti-depressants, and I hated them. First they made me feel sleepy then when that wore off, I was shaking all the time and felt like I couldn't summon my thoughts. I had no capability to go beyond ordinary life, no thought-process beyond the practical. So I gradually weaned myself off. Looking forward to seeing more of your posts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzzybee Posted March 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2014 Aww thank you so much for your kind words Cheeses. Thank you for sharing some of your personal thoughts and experiences too, I have valued reading about them. I can totally relate to what you said about anti depressants, for me i also felt similar symptoms as you have stated, hence after many tries on different ones, I finally decided to give them the boot about 12 months ago and I've felt much better since. Counsellors, like any other profession, you get good and bad. I trained and qualified with some who should never be in the profession as they didn't go through the therapeutic process themselves, so how could they even begin to understand what therapy is like for others, when they haven't worked through their own stuff? beats me!. I felt that I owed it to myself and to any potential clients to start my therapeutic process both before, during and after my training, plus when I am practicing I have regular supervision and at times more therapy if needed. I never practice if I am emotionally struggling, that would be unethical and unfair on any client. Thank you for welcoming me :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickle59 Posted March 12, 2014 Report Share Posted March 12, 2014 (((buzzybee)))...........Hello and a very warm welcome.............. .xxx Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums.xxx.....Pickles.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzzybee Posted March 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2014 Thank you so much pickles x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted March 14, 2014 Report Share Posted March 14, 2014 hello n welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzzybee Posted March 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2014 Thank you for you lovely welcome, hd lewis and maddy harper :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted March 18, 2014 Report Share Posted March 18, 2014 Hello buzzybee, moonbeam beth here, myselves are very new to this site. On reading your introduction, we reflect, that we maybe should have done something similar, before dropping into, peoples threads..Thank you, and look forward to learning a little, with yourself and all the people here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzzybee Posted March 19, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2014 Hi Moonbeam beth, It's really positive that you have come on this site and I'm a strong believer in 'when your amongst like minded people, who really cares how you start to interact, whats more important is that you are here'. So from my personal perspective, I've enjoyed reading your threads and contributions, how you start that interaction doesn't have to come via the formal introductions bit, I don't believe thats important. But welcome all the same and I'm glad that you are here :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted March 19, 2014 Report Share Posted March 19, 2014 Thank you Buzzybee, I feel all, wow, such inclusion and acceptance, from you and others here, truly marvelous. Be well, with well wishes, moonbeam beth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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