angel tears Posted March 24, 2014 Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 Hi there I have never really spoken about my issues with food until now. I have mentioned it very briefly to my therapist but that's about it for now. I always feel the need to fill myself up with junk food.....I have chocolate, crisps, cereal, chips, pop etc and I have to have it at night in particular but I also love mocha's and cakes and I will pop in to costa because I need to feel better if that makes sense? but I don't feel better at all. I am over 200 pounds and I seem to get bigger if I let myself......I then go on these starvation diets, lose the weight and then go back to eating too much again. I find it so very hard to manage I am either not eating, exercising like mad, using slimming pills or I am eating for comfort. I torture myself by trying to make myself smaller by buying small clothes because I want to fit in to them....like with a party that's coming up. I have ordered a dress that's too small because I think that I will have to make myself lose enough weight to wear it but I feel depressed about that and I comfort eat. I just can't accept myself. Even when I was younger and I stopped eating I still thought that I was fat!!!. I never seen happy with myself at all. I feel trapped in this fat body..... xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tattoogirl Posted April 4, 2014 Report Share Posted April 4, 2014 Omg I totally feel the same as you. Everything you say just relates to me. This time last year I was 4 stone lighter and I've been through that many diets, putting on weight, loosing it then putting more on and on. Im ashamed of how Ive let myself get like this but sometimes its comfort, sometimes its to punish myself, like you, I just can't be happy. Even when I was 4 stone lighter I thought I was fat, now I know I actually am fat and I hate it yet I cant stop eating the bad things. Sorry if this is not helping, i just thought id let you know that you arent alone! Have you been diganosed with an eating disorder or do you have problems with eating, eating habits and an unhealthy relationship with food (as I would say I have) Have you tried writing yourself out a plan for the week and what your going to eat, what your going to snack on if you feel like eating rubbish? *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted April 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2014 Hi there Its nice that I am not alone, thanks for replying hun. I mentioned it to me counsellor about my relationship with food and he mentioned that it sounds like an eating disorder, I have had it for many years now and I do comfort eat, I know I do......then I starve, sometimes abused laxatives....then I eat too much and I am never happy with whatever I do. It makes me so sad as I am trying to fill an empty void inside of me, I am trying to feel ok but I don't and nothing so far as ever helped. I obsess about it, I obsess over the gym if I go. It feels like a trap and when I do eat healthy I ruin it later on. Maybe in this way I am still hurting myself but not registering that xxxx Hugs too xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenkalllo Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 There are so many "cliches" and "stereotypes" within the mental health system and it annoys me - it annoys me even more so, when they're true. Several professionals over years have intimated the "it's the only thing you can control" theory and unfortunately, it's so true. When I lose grip on things, I know I can get instant gratification from eating a 12 pack of wotsits, instant punisment from purging and then self-fulfilling prophecy of hating myself because I've just gained 5lbs!!! I have battled with my relationship with food since I was 8 years old, some years it's manageable and others it dictates me but it's always there, a niggly voice in the back of my head. It never goes. There's a vicious rumour that when you find someone who loves you for who you are, it won't matter - it's never proven true to me however this could just be because everyone that ever said they loved me, is a liar.... (that's a different issue though!). It is true though, you'll never get a handle on it until you learn to see just how beautiful you really are.. but until then? That's what we're here for. On the topic of how you look - adore the hair!!!! I've been many colours myself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
basimelhabashy Posted May 19, 2014 Report Share Posted May 19, 2014 Contact any good doctor and start a strict diet. Sometimes a fat body can welcome many diseases. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted May 19, 2014 Report Share Posted May 19, 2014 thanks for coming on here and talking about your issues with food your very brave i think i have a lot of time for you angel cause you usually give good advice lets hope that you can get better with food in time i did but it has taken me over 14 years to not hate food or beet my self up if i enjoy the food so its a long prosess but its worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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