I_will_beat_it Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Had a meeting with a health professional today, that has challenged what I had started to believe and am grateful for opinions experiences etc I had always believed that I regressed to a time in my life when I was happy. My mind took me to a safe place and I acted out in that personality whilst I felt vunerable untill danger passed I also had different personalities to suit the company I was in e.g friends, work colleagues, clients, employees etc, and also the situation. Again I was always told this was a defence mechanism as I find it hard to fit in and have an unstable sense of self etc. Finding it hard to deal with stress and inner turmoil led to me escaping and this escapism took on several forms often with no knowledge or memory of what took place None of it worked though and the cycle starts again, more self harming behaviours, more extravagant and unique ways to get that sense of escape I was told none of it is true and to re-evaluate. BPD can not cause different personalities or alter egos. I am told you are distinctly aware what your doing but choose to forget it. And to suggest otherwise is ludicrous. Has anyone been told that this is the case. I was told I suffer from delusional thinking and dissociation. Both of which are very common symptoms experienced with BPD Any opinions or experience is appreciated Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Hello I heard you... I just cannot respond fully tonight... so I will be back,... This is very interesting, honestly, I have thoughts of use or not, we can find out tomorrow. Well wishes, moonbeambethxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 I was told I suffer from a dissasoicative disorder alongside bpd and that I have separate parts to me which are stuck in different times to me if that makes sense, there is the anxious me who is always anxious and afraid, the traumatized me who again is scared of everything and panics all the time, the rebellious me who when triggered is out of my control same with the angry me, the small me who really needs loved and cared for, the self destructive me who will damage me at all costs that's the whole aim, and the parent me who is parent to my children there are more im just not aware of them all yet, does that sound like what you experience? I don't change my personality to fit in with you who im with im just whoever happens to be there at that time depending on whats happening around me xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 Hello again, I have not forgotten you, your experience is interesting, and informative... I am with you in mind, and formulating what it is, I think, in response to your experience with the T... I am too full and too messy, to do this now... Well wishes, moonbeambethx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 Hello again, today I will try to respond to you... I really do like the sound of your T in the instance, that for you, the BPD, is err, not, with some other types of experiencing… Because the vast majority of people with BPD, do not experience, more than one personality, the same way the others with, say, D.I.D…just do… With BPD, as you have already experienced, you, as in the person that I am responding too, changes, depending on, who, and what is going on around you… So for you, the person who posted, the person I respond too, you are aware of these changes, within you, afterwards, but as you said, sometimes you were not aware at the time… Challenging your, delusional thinking, as it was put to you, would mean for you, stopping the experience, of you, feeling that you have more than one personality, as opposed to, many varied aspects to your personality. This seems to be correct for you, and I checked, by asking, this last couple of days, this is correct for many sufferers, and survivors of BPD. Many BPD diagnosed people are terribly offended by, the false understanding that they have more than one personality. So your T, is helping dispel these kind misunderstandings, this is actually very welcome for many people with BPD. YES, internet friend, challenge your particular patterns of delusional thinking, is very much part of this journey… Ok, now, I need to flow, with my own interpretations, of what I read from you…PERSONAL NOT PROFESSIONAL I am concerned for you, as you, told me (via this post!), that sometimes, you skip, time, and are losing time, with no awareness, of what you have been doing….This is a common symptom, for many people, with BPD, and other MH conditions, there is totally, no point in your T, telling you, that this does not happen to you, it does, you told me!! I wanted you to know, personal, not professional, that this symptom, needs an extra challenge from you, you do need to spend some time, noticing, when this is happening, and ‘where’ your ‘mind’ has been whilst your losing time… I say this as, for many survivors of abuse, of many forms, have this symptom, no matter what MD Dx they have…for many people it, just is, this symptom that brings, the past harms, into the light. If you would like me to share with you, strategies and ways that I challenge this symptom, I am happy to post them, Hope some of these thoughts are useful to you… well wishes, moonbeambeth.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted March 29, 2014 Report Share Posted March 29, 2014 I should have said I was dx with DID I was given a full assessment in October, he explained it like because of the trauma I went through my personality is fragmented and is split into several parts, I am not whole as a person and when something happens I disassociate and block it of and so it remains in another part of me, like all the abuse is in a part of me and I don't allow that part a voice so all the hurt and fear remains inside me and when something triggers me I feel the fear of that part if that makes sense? He explained it to me as I have all these different parts some I am aware of some I am not, some hold the trauma, and other parts deny the trauma and say it didn't happen to them and have no memory of it, im sorry I am no good at explaining this its early days with me in coming to terms with it all, he gave me a book to read in my own time as he cant help me with any of this he was there to treat bpd but he picked up on the DID and had me assessed by a psychiatrist. He said it explains the loosing time and going somewhere and having no memory of it and when part of me is triggered I have no control if that makes sense. I have a very sexual part which is impulsive and gets me in trouble and if u met these two people you would notice the difference straight away, I do things and when people tell me I have done them I don't believe them because I have no memory of it, like my therapist telling me about my part who is defensiveness, angry, rebellious and will not back down no mater what I said how do u know he said I have met her several times lately then the emotional part who cries through therapy and has all the pain. Sorry if im rambling I don't fully understand it all myself. I think maybe you misunderstood me, as I said my personality doesn't change depending on who I am with i don't change to fit in with social situations or pretend to be like others maybe i confused you with my post that wasn't my intention sorry what I meant was that if I was triggered I would switch to whoever can deal with the situation at that time that's what I meant by depending on whats going on around me, I was also never told I had delusional thinking or to challenge it he told me he thought I had DID and had me assessed I would never in my wildest imagination have thought I had DID xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I_will_beat_it Posted March 31, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Thank you for your replies and wonderful insights I have never believed I have multiple personalities as in totally different individuals of varying ages, sexes, backgrounds. I have always believed that it is me, but it has been different parts of my spectrum of personality that come through. Unfortunately when acting out different parts of these "personalities" I do not remember a thing about it. I do not choose to forget. There have been times when i have been negotiating important deals worth a lot of money to me and been in board meetings. I guess i can not handle the stress so shut down and a more dominant business like self comes out and takes over. I come out and have not knowledge what happened and after a period of time later find myself phoning or e mailing trying to get a recap on what was discussed / agreed etc without letting on that I have no idea what happened. So i know i do not deliberately forget as some of the stuff i forget is so important to me etc Friends who have seen me at work will comment how totally different I am and when social circles mix people always comment they saw a different side to me and i know that when certain circles mix that very strange things happen as i do not know what character to act out as This all happens at a sub conscious level and I am trying hard to stop it happening and recognise the warning signs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.