Beanz1980 Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Hi all!! I'm sure a lot of you heard about the teenage boy who went on a stabbing spree injuring 20 students. Its a topic that's been hot on social networking as it happened 20 minutes from my home. My opinion: He's troubled. Issues within himself, home and or trouble at school. But its obvious there's a mental health issue. I posted my thoughts on social networking & a lot of folks blamed the parents not raising the kid right and not a mental illness. A "normal" person doesn't go on a stabbing spree @ 7am.....Sorry. I'm well aware of being bullied in school as I've gone through it, and the anger, depression & hate that built up over time. Instead of hurting people I took it out on myself but if this young man didn't have family & friends who saw the warnings signs he wouldn't get the help needed. Most parents are naive. They see their quiet, distant child as just dealing with teenage stuff. Or if they're rebellious they say "its just a phase". Been there, done that. What are your thoughts?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Some people don't take enough interest in their child, either because they don't know how or they have their own issues. Sometimes they do but they just don't see the warning signs as they're, as you say, naive or have their own issues. Some people just give their kids to the world to deal with and don't seek to build up any kind of relationship with them. And people in general don't seek to look deeper into someone with problems a lot of the time because they've got their own concerns, they don't have time, there's no connection or they're afraid so they turn away, which is the opposite of what is needed. The world blames the parents, the parents blame others (and also maybe themselves) but the world doesnt seek to question itself and what it could have done for the individual in pain. We too easily turn our backs on people, but that's the way humanity is wired a lot of the time. It's hard to be compassionate when we live in a society which sees it as weakness. We wash our hands of people too easily but then again, it's not entirely our fault. We do what we're taught, what's hardwired into us, and it's up to us to do the best we can by ourselves and for others. It's a shame for all involved, it's a very dark place to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Why is it obvious there is a mental health issue? It's comments like that that protray those with mental health issues as violent and murders maybe he was just bad or evil it is possible. I was stalked for months and then attacked and then raped by a guy should I excuse this by saying he had a mental health issue will I fuck. It makes me so angry that every looks to mental health or blames the parents I have mental health issues caused by loads of stuff doesn't give me the right or an excuse to go and stab others. Where I live a man of 18 shot his father he had tried to kill his mother earlier that yr and the same crap applied oh he must be depressed or have a mental illness ah no he didn't he was just evil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beanz1980 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 I myself have issues so I'm not being rude. I'm not saying people with metal health dx are violent or crazy...I'm saying that IF a person is depressed etc & they have nobody to talk to, are being taunted, or bullied, sometimes they are pushed too far. Some are suicidal (I lost a dear friend in this way), some get so angry they lash out at those who are hurting them (I was physical with my current boyfriend of 4 years & was threatened by the police that I could be 302d). Some self harm. I think maybe you misunderstood where I was going with this. You fail to realize that I myself have multiple mental health dx and if I called those with mental health problems violent/crazy/bad/evil, then id be saying the same of myself, my mother & sister. That would be stupid of me.....I don't think the parents didn't raise him right, I just feel if a child has mental health issues and parents aren't schooled on the signs then they'd not get the help rheyd need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beanz1980 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 ...and I'm not saying what he did was right or that he had the right to do it. For those who are religious, suicide is a sin & nobody has the right to take their own life, but they do it. I've lost a friend, a cousin & 2 school teachers to suicide. There's a lot of things we shouldn't do, but if there's underlying issues & the person is not thinking clearly, overwhelmed, feeling lost and/or hopeless, a person can do things that aren't right. Society is a scary & hateful place & if you don't have the support from friends & family, you will become lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 I have no support I have no friends and my family don't speak to me as a teen I was bullied had no friends was angry suicidal depressed never once have I lashed at anyone violently never I would never hurt others the way I was hurt. I get ur point I really do get what ur saying I just find it hard and it angers me that mental illness is used as an excuse when maybe it's not the case. Also my son has mental health issues so if for some reason I don't recognise his need then he would be capable of that. I have six kids all brought up exactly the same one has mental health issues so that does mean I somehow failed him? Or just maybe that's the way he is after all everyone is different Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beanz1980 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Like I said to an old classmate, just because susie next door has mental health probs & had a rough home life doesn't mean we can compare her to Joe down the street who also had a rough home life & has a mental health dx. We aren't all the same. We don't all handle things the same. Some can brush things off & move on, some cannot. There's levels of severity with all mental health dx. There's high functioning and low functioning...If we were all the same by comparison, we'd either all be in the hospital or therapists/psychiatrists wouldn't exist, but since we're all different & have different needs & different levels of severity with each dx, then our behaviors & the way we each handle situations is different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Yeah exactly which is why it is wrong to assume that anyone who does that has mental health issues but people automatically see mental health issues and assume we are all violent and nad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beanz1980 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Well....for a 15 year old to do that I don't feel is just an evil person. I honestly feel there's more going on. I'm not a doctor but when a teenager acts out like that, in my opinion I think there's issues that weren't spotted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beanz1980 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 I mean you keep saying you had bad things happen to you and you'd never hurt anyone. I also had bad things happen but I've never done such a thing, but some people do. Which is why I'm saying just because you've never hurt anyone & I've never gone on a spree doesn't mean someone else won't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrangeLamp Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 I think beanz is just trying to explain, not excuse the behaviour. From the light of 'how could we have helped this person?' For a child to do that, I think blanket terms like 'evil' should be avoided. Wouldn't we all have wanted our suffering to have been spotted earlier? Maybe it contributed and then add poor decisions on top. It's a tough topic but I think you guys should make sure to talk openly but listen to eachothers opinions but not attack in the process. Disagreement doesn't have to result in an argument, and if anyones not in the right place to argue their point(which is fair enough, as it's a sensitive one) without attacking then it'd be best to take a breather. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jelly-bean Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 This could apply to anyone mental issues or non... it dose not have to boil down to one's bad childhood, they could be having a bad day, things getting on top of them so they react upon the feelings and emotions... also a large amount of people who suffer with mh issues seek help as in if they suffer intrusive thought' s are on some form of medication, have therapy,pdoc, and such... and they know the bad feelings and would seek support.... I'm not saying all would .... But they are more likely to recognise that they need help ... then someone that is feeling this for the first time... or just wants to hurt for the sake of it ... I see what addy is saying and I have asked my mental health social worker about this people with say bpd are not more likely to kill or hurt others ... they are more likely to hurt themselves.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Was I attacking anyone certainly not so please re read anything I have written and point out where I attacked anyone I thought it was an open discussion and as I said they had their opinion and I had mine that was me saying we all see things differently so don't judge me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 See you understood what I meant jelly bean and was simply saying what I though and how damaging it is to label people with mental health issues as violent as everyone has the potential to be violent mental health issues or not. I hate being accused in the wrong if I had been attacking anyone believe me it would have been very obvious so much for the right to have an OPINION Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrangeLamp Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Pretty sure I didn't say you were attacking anyone either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beanz1980 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 I think its easier for an adult to recognize they've got something going on & seek help before a child would. I know from my personal experience as a teenager & having serious anger issues growing up, being bullied & after my mom had to find work since my dads mill closed down(I felt abandoned because she was always there after school before she started working), I didn't think that I had anything going on with me & never thought anything about therapy or help of any kind...Everyone just thought it was a phase, what teenagers do, typical teenage behavior, rebelling etc....Idk what happened & what made my parents finally see that maybe there was something goin on with me, but @ 17 they made me go to a therapist, at 18 I saw a psychiatrist & was dx bipolar....I just think teenage years are hard on all teens. School, stress to graduate, first relationships, trying to fit in, experimenting with drugs, gossip, sports....A lot going on during that time...And if a child has mh issues all of those things can really cause some serious probs. Children are not evil, they can make bad decisions & if us adults don't look for their silent screams for help, it can end up in disaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 12, 2014 Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 I love how everyone picks up on the word evil I never said any child was evil I said it's a fact some people are just bad and evil and excuses are given and maybe put urself in the shoes of those who were attacked and how you would feel if ur child went to school one day and someone stabbed them two sides to every story and even if he has mental health issues it never ever excuses this behaviour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beanz1980 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 I totally feel for the victims & their families.... Its never excused behavior but at the same time if he needs help then he needs help & hopefully he gets it. I mean there are some instances where a person can't help their behavior, which is why we attend sessions or why compulsive gamblers or alcoholics attend meetings....I'm not saying he shouldn't be punished but I am saying that throwing him in jail and not helping him would be wrong....It won't help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 13, 2014 Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 I have read this through a couple of times...I am still not sure what the point is. We all agree mental instability isn't an excuse?? We agree mentally unstable people aren't all violent?? Can anyone explain the point of this here?? Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beanz1980 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Idk @ this point..... I guess all I was trying to say was....If a child has a mh issue, parents need to look for the signs before something tragic happens. Whether it be them hurting others or themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratherin Posted April 13, 2014 Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 What I took from it was if a child commits something unthinkable that it probably is some kind of issue and they need help? or have I missed the whole point XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beanz1980 Posted April 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Well I just don't think a child wakes up one morning aiming to hurt people just because. I mean children are sensitive and IF they've got something going on and then the stress from home or school weighs on them, the outcome could be disastrous. I'm just speaking from personal experience. I think perhaps this topic went way off base and what I was aiming at wasn't worded the same as it was in my head. You know how something sounds good until you speak it and then it just sounds bad....Idk...I think I should bow out lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratherin Posted April 13, 2014 Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Don't worry you didn't do anything wrong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 13, 2014 Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Beanz....use your freedom to speak...it is fine...I was just wanting some clairification. I don't know what happens to these children...born bad...made bad...computer games...movies.... Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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