Planning A 3000 Mile Move

[avratz]

For a couple years now I've felt this need to move cross-country. I've always lived on the east coast (US), but didn't grow up where I currently am. I've got great friends here, but I don't feel like I belong here. I hate the thought of leaving them, but I also hate the thought of never leaving this place. It's like I've got ties here, but no roots. I feel like if I move out there, it'll be a place I can make my own. I didn't choose to live where I am now, but was forced by losing my job during the downturn.

I recently lost my job and I see this now as an opportunity to pack my bags and drive to California. It's like now or never I think.

It's terrifying and exciting to think about at the same time. I'm still not entirely sure why I feel so compelled to do this and I can't help but wonder if it's for the right reasons. I don't even know that much about California. I went there for the first time last summer. I spent 4 days there. I do know I loved it and didn't want to leave.

Anyway, the plan is to drive there with enough resources to make it for 2-3 months (or more if possible) and to try to find work. If possible I'll find a job before then, but unfortunately people are very hesitant to hire somebody from that distance when there are plenty of local candidates with my experience.

Anybody have experience with these urges? Did you follow through? Did it work out?

[artemis84]

Not quite on the same scale as yours but a few years ago I decided to take the plunge and travel (on my own) to Australia for a month. (Worth saying here I have MASSIVE anxiety issues and find going to the shop for a pint of milk stressful!) It was somewhere I had always wanted to go and the opportunity came up financially to fund it... I was petrified that it was a terrible decision and awful things would happen and that I wouldn't be able to cope, but I did!! It was the best experience of my life and I enjoyed it immensely. It taught me a lot about my anxiety and pessimistic outlook and has now developed a far healthier attitude to risk taking in me. After doing that, I see things as 'why not!' opportunities rather than 'No way! ones and so I reckon the same applies to your decision - why not??! I figure if you go and hate it and everything is terrible and you really can't bear it any longer, you can always come back to where you are now. Sure, you may not have accommodation straight away if you do but I'm sure your friends would help you out with that.

I think you are looking at it very positively and sometimes, things do happen for a reason - maybe it really is the time for you to go. I think you should go for it, sometimes our gut instincts are the one we should listen to. It may be challenging at first when you arrive with nothing (i.e. job, flat etc) but see it as an adventure and a new start, it could be just what you need. Good luck if you decide to brave it!

[avratz]

Thanks for the reply! Sometimes going out of one's comfort zone and committing to doing something big is definitely good, like with you taking that long trip in Australia! I'm sure there will be benefits to the move that haven't even occurred to me.

I'm quite certain I'm going to go through with it. I'm still not 100% sure why I feel so compelled to move there, but I feel like the culture and climate will be good for me. Also I do think I'll regret it if I don't. Moving back wouldn't actually be too difficult as I'm currently living with my parents and would be able to come back here if need be.

It's hard to describe the inner turmoil regarding leaving my friends here. For some reason I find it hard to comprehend why they like me so much lol. It's impossible to describe what goes through my head with this. It's like when they're expressing anything affectionate, I want to get mad at them for it...but when I can't hang out with them or a text or call doesn't get returned when I expect it would, it really bothers me. Anyway, this is all getting really stirred up in me because my friends are all saying how sad they are to hear I'll be moving. I'm really sad to leave them, then I think why are THEY sad to see me go...and I intellectually know why but it bugs me a bit. I don't know...it's not logical lol. All this stuff goes on in my head...I guarantee my friends don't have a clue (which is a good thing)

I've moved a lot in the past and I'm terribly guilty of "out of sight out of mind" when it comes to friends. It's awful. Anyway hopefully we'll be able to maintain contact. Facebook definitely helps.

Also I've made big moves before by myself. So I'm pretty confident I'll do just fine when the move is done. I just sort of jump in eyes wide shut and try not to worry about things that are out of my control until they come up.

Overall I'm very excited. I'm pretty confident things will work out