Eagleheart Posted April 24, 2014 Report Share Posted April 24, 2014 So,as some of you know,i've been feeling like shit.I was very very low & speaking of defeat. My negativity must have been hard for you to have to deal with. Anyway,over the past 2 days i have spent a lot of time reflecting & ruminating on the state of my life.I am very prone to wallowing in self-pity.It's tough to have to admit that,but i can't move forward without first acknowledging some unpleasant truths about my fundamental nature. But while i was facing up to my failings,i discovered an inner strength that's lain dormant for a very long time. Deep in my belly lies a dragon.It is fiercely protective of its host(me).It last reared its head back in 1991,after i was brutally raped.It gave me the strength to walk into his place of work & punch him in the face(possibly breaking his nose but i didn't hang around to verify his exclamation that i had). But i let my dragon go into a prolonged hibernation & he has been dormant since. Some really horrible shit has happened since then,but i've always suppressed the fire in my belly,feeling i was not entitled to express my pain or my anger. Me & my dragon have got re-acquainted over the last two days.I have embraced him & realised my absolute right to own him & let him roar,if & when needed. This post may seem bizarre to some of you,but i have found my inner advocate. He is a dragon & his name is RESPECT. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Eagle...top job...I am happy you have found this and can use it...well done for punching that bloke. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellar Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Hi Eagleheart, May your wings take you to lofty heights and the fire in your belly never diminish. Take care Stellar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted April 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Steve-thanks so much for encouraging me.I have really benefited from your support recently. Stellar-thank you too.Your positive words only go to help feed my dragon. I just want to add that I AM A SURVIVOR,NEVER A VICTIM. If you settle for being a victim then that is what life will supply. Make a new choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Wow Eagle what a powerful post and I am so very happy for you Hun you have been through some very traumatising situations and I admire your strength and your guts. You sure are a survivor and a strong one at that!!. I know myself what being raped does to us.... But we keep on fighting and trying. Hello there Dragon keep the fire in Eagles heart, keep burning bright as the beautiful person that you all are. Thanks for sharing Hun xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 P.s - I hit my ex after being raped for years, they got off lightly!! Xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted April 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Angel tears-It means a lot that you posted.Thanks so much hun.Us survivors need to stick together. I've never been a violent person but,f***ing hell,it felt so damn good to punch his sickening face.!!!!!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Yes I understand what u mean!! I actually enjoyed hurting the bastard after 4 years of sickening abuse and I didn't wanna stop either!!! Xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Hey I'm so glad that respect has been released again. Well done to you all. We have a lioness she is very protective and fierce and she is very much like respect Together you can move forward So happy for you all ROARRRR Emo xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Survivors....yes you are...well done Angel too. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted April 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Thanks Emo. It took one too many knocks to wake him up & i am so glad that i sense him there all the time.Some people will have to realise that i will NOT be their doormat EVER again. Steve,as always,thanks for the support.Hope you are ok? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Happy for you Eagle...I like that you call yourself a survivor. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted April 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Each one of us on this forum are survivors. If you think about it,you have a 100% record for surviving the piles of shit life puts you through. 100% SURVIVORS. I salute you all.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 I find your post so positive eagleheart I am happy you have found your inner fight and dragon xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted April 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Thankyou Addy.x Maybe you will find your inner defender too. I think we all have one,deep down,hidden under a lifetime of hellish pain. I hope you have a break from your pain hun. If you need extra support or just an ear to hear your pain,PM me. But always remember you are a warrior.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted April 25, 2014 Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 YES 100% SURVIVORS YES...Eagleheart, many blessings for this stand with truth...and your healing... With much respect and well wishes , MBB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted April 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2014 Thankyou my lovely.x I sincerely hope you are feeling safe now. After what you went through today,you will need plenty of rest. Be kind to yourself hun.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 Thank you eagle heart sometimes I have my inner fight but maybe it's inappropriate then I am too defensive and I fight about everything my last therapist once said to me that I don't need to attend every battle I'm invited to makes sense I suppose. Thank you eagle heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted April 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 Hi Addy. I know what you mean. But i also think that psych's can come across as flippin mental too. I was trying to help others see that they have incredible untapped strength deep down. You have it too. Hope your day has treated you well.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted May 21, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 My dragon has opened out his wings. It's a sign to tell me that i need to set out boundaries. His fiery breath reminds me that i will be a doormat to NO ONE. Even as i struggle in a pit of psychosis,i still feel my dragon communicating with me. My protection is solid. Boundaries have been dug. I am full of gratitude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 glad you have rules to help you coap with your issues. i wish i did, imparticularly over the voices that drive me mental... good to see you around again eagle even if life is shit at present Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 I'm glad your dragon is there for you, are you ok? I am here if you need to talk xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 how are you feeling now eagleheart?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted May 21, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 Not good. But thanks for asking.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 [[[huge hugs eagleheart]]]xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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