Eagleheart Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 BELOVED DREAM OF THE HOPELESS I'm home alone- I know i've got enough time. Line up the goods neatly, savour the moment. Pour the vodka,gulp handful's down- the sweet elixir. Fuzzy focus,receding sounds, Sweet oblivion.............................. OR He's driving too fast again. Forest to the right,open ground to the left. My sight is like a hawks'; I see it coming- Unfasten my seatbelt just before impact- animal and machine collide. My body flies,is spectacularly crushed, the deer and i inter-mingle; I feel warmth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 Beautiful xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 Thank you for sharing Eagle-heart... Was intense for me to hear.... Well wishes for you, MBB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted May 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 Thank you both for reading & commenting. It's scary to bare my soul. I shouldn't share anymore. I know it's not wanted & that i am stupid. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickle59 Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 ((((((Eagle))))))...........Pickles feels she can write something now, that you have spoken again, here ............and I'm very glad you have. . Please don't feel or think that you shouldn't share any more, or that you are stupid......Please .........To bare your soul like this..........BELOVED DREAM OF THE HOPELESS.........spoken, written and expressed through Dark Times........well, I just couldn't say anything, when I read it first........it was so powerful.........I couldn't speak......it touched and touches me deeply and I feel bad for not responding..................When I read what you wrote here (((Eagle))), I felt so scared for you and the place you were in...........I felt the sadness and the desperation............it also touched on mine, and just saying again, I couldn't express anything when maybe that's just the time you needed it...........I'm sorry...........I hope you are doing a little better today ((((eagle)))).xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted May 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 You are such a good soul Pickles. I am all over the place mentally.Veering from one extreme to the other. The feelings are more intense than usual. I am finding it hard to cope.I can't regulate my emotions at all atm. The poem helps me.I can read it & commit virtual sui My imagination is still very vivid,so i can create the situation & really "live" what i wrote. Thankyou for your reply.I hope it hasn't triggered you hun.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 Hello Eaglehart, sorry but I really like hearing from you...your truth and expression is precious and welcome to me and many others... Often I am sad with you, or cry for you, and cheer for you, because through your sharing, you allowed us to share a precious piece of your heart and soul, and it is very beautiful, we would wish brighter feelings for you, better heart felt love in you, but that is because our compassion wants more for you than suffering, as you are more than this suffering... Your bravery and efforts to share, have helped me along on my own painful journey, I am with gratitude for you, just being and doing, as you are...you have shared much love with your sharing, and when you gave us the most intimate and painful truths that you have carried, you set me free to do the same...we challenge our own shame and pain, alongside yours my friend... You have been through much recently, and I am not surprised that you are with extreme shifting and emotional experiencing... Take care of you, as best you can, try to be a little kind to you, the way that you would be, to me, if I turned to you with my pain... you would give to me, a liitle gentle kindness, and freedom of expression, please give to you...you need too.... Thinking of you Eagleheart, stay brave, stay bold, stay as your authentic self, beautiful as you are... Well wishes MBB xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted May 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 Moonbeam,what a beautiful post. You make me cry AND soar. I always feel so taken aback by other people's perception of me. I am so emotionally abusive to myself. I see myself through the eyes of my abusive mother. So when people see all these good things in me,it seems like they are talking about a stranger-some other person. Surely they aren't talking about me. And then i will call myself all the hideous names under the sun. Its very sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 Hey Eagalheart, yes, this whole process is very sad... the damage was sown from a very sad place... We will overcome, as we identify, our truth, stand in our responses, and re-learn to love, and re-parent ourselves, to un-wind all the damage, we will, stand, taller, and speak clearer for this experiencing now, will bring brightness to our selves in future... Keep strong as you journey Dear Eagleheart, Pain-chaos-learning, we will all arrive bruised, but arrive we will, to future, more loving open and accepting selves, to our selves is where we will all arrive... Thinking of you, MBB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickle59 Posted May 2, 2014 Report Share Posted May 2, 2014 ((((((Eagelheart))))))............I wrote a poem, a while back now, which expressed the very place I was in, as your beautiful, yet painful one does here too...............I needed my therapist at the time to hear it, to know, just how dark a space I was in at that time, and it was dismissed as sort of not being real................Oh Yes it Was!.............So, I needed and wanted to say something to you here, to let you know that I heard and for you to know that I could feel it all................I'm so glad you are OK...........xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gattaca Posted May 11, 2014 Report Share Posted May 11, 2014 A beautiful, deep, heartfelt and visceral. Thanks for sharing. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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