ode_to_joy75 Posted August 9, 2004 Report Share Posted August 9, 2004 Hi everyone! I would really like to have a better understanding of everyone here. I sincerely hope I'm not getting too personal, but I would like to get to know all of you. When I lose myself in darkness, there is a song by Leonard Cohen, that really gets to the core of who I am. I am always asking myself this question. Although I don't always like my own answers, it gives me something to work on, improve, and fine tune the areas of myself that I really don't like. "WHO BY FIRE?" Who by fire? Who by water? Who in the sunshine? Who in the night time? Who by high ordeal? Who by common trial? Who in your merry, merry month of May? Who by very slow decay? And who shall I say is calling? Who in her lonely slip? Who by barbiturate? Who in these realms of love? Who by something blunt? Who by avalanche? Who by powder? Who for his greed? Who for his hunger? And who shall I say is calling? Who by brave ascent? Who by accident? Who in solitude? Who in this mirror? Who by his lady's command? Who by his own hand? Who in mortal chains? Who in power? And who shall I say is calling? - Leonard Cohen I really hope people will reply to this. It is my somewhat silly attempt to try to get to know you. The question is: Who shall I say is calling? Thanks for reading, ode_to_joy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buoyantcat Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 :huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxybabes Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Hi how ya doin? i havent been a member for that long so i dont really no many ppl either, ok here goes not to long i promise Im kerrie 23 live in sheffield UK work full time (crap job dont ask) was diagnosed with BPD in feb this year spent some time in hospital but seem to be coping alot better with it now, on anti depressants so maybe there helping, still self harmiing over any little thing, but working on it, really wanna try and knock that one in the head, too many god damn scars. so how long have you known youve suffered with BPD ? kerrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladylazurus27 Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Hey There, WOOO-HOOO a Leonard Cohen fan 'round here....he's an amazingly beautiful man. Anyway, my name is Kristy. I'm 23 years old and live in Seattle, Washinton, USA. I'm working my arse off in my first recovery stages from BPD and PTSD. Only 8 weeks into it, slowly but surely. I'm a musician (guitar, bass, piano, drums, etc...) and use my creativity for all kinds of outlets (drawing, painting, writing, etc...). But as a musician I can say that is my "art". I'm working on my registered nurse certifycation in college...slow goes it with school these days. Dunno what else to say really except that i'm really laid back and been trying to find a healthy place in my life for some peace of mind amongst this harsh world. Nice ta meet ya :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 they are very thought provoking and beautiful lyrics. to try to answer it literally means a lot of introspection. i guess "who" for me would be changing acordding to the day the question is asked. also.. doesnt seem anyone person could answer for all the who's. maybe when it comes to the end analysis.... for me... who is me... as inadequate as i feel... its only me that is beautiful... thx for sharing and opening our minds to its possibilities bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noname Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Sorry but I really don't understand the question I am very thick sorry Alex xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 If you're thick, I'm too shallow, because I don't get it either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ode_to_joy75 Posted August 10, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Hi again, everyone. Thanks for responding. It's quite alright, Rock Chick and Verbena. I don't understand what thick means! I guess to understand "Who By Fire", you would have to be somewhat familiar with the life of Leonard Cohen. I'm sorry for being so vague in my post. Leonard Cohen is known for his soul searcing abilities. "Who By Fire", is Leonard Cohen's poetic translation of a Buddhist/Hindu philosophy/prayer, which in essence is the question we will all have to answer when we leave this world for the afterlife. Whether you believe in a Universal God, many Gods, gauds, or no God at all, in many ways it helps us to overview our own meaning. Who shall I say is calling, is supposed to be the question we are asked by our makers in the end. (How did we live our lives?) Given the lyrics of "Who By Fire", what will our answers be upon being asked, Who shall I say is calling? I suppose my answer in the end would be: Someone, who at times, by very slow decay. Someone, who nearly, in her lonely slip. Someone, who at times, for her greed and hunger. Someone, who like most of us here, in solitude. In being able to see the bad in ourselves, it also helps us to see the good. "Who By Fire", isn't supposed to make us feel like complete failures, it's supposed to open us up in a way that we are able to see ourselves. Upon being asked, who shall I say is calling, I will also have many other answers, like: Someone who gave alot of her heart. Someone who loved alot of people. Someone who treated all people equally. Someone who didn't commit crimes against humanity. Someone with enough lingering hope that the question, who by his own hand, won't require an answer from me in the end. I hope this helps, and answers your questions. Thanks to all who reply to this. We're in this together! My name is Sheryl, by the way. I realise that I made such a personal question so impersonal by not even introducing myself by my real name. Be well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ode_to_joy75 Posted August 10, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Thanks Maxybabes, Lady Lazarus and Betsy! I love your replies! Woooo Hoooo, is right! Leonard Cohen is an amazingly beautiful man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twilight Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Hey guys...I don't get it either....its all gone way over my head. Who should u say is calling? Well if u are referring to me...u should say its twilight and therefore don't bother opening the door cos she ain't worth it. Thanks for posting more on it Sheryl, it explains things a little although my head is like a grand prix racing track at the mo and I can't really get my head round any of it. But it sounds like a good thing, a good thing being able to see your positives that u have brought to u and others...well done. Twi xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ode_to_joy75 Posted August 10, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 Twilight; I'm opening the door because you are worth it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twilight Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Oh thanks Sheryl!! Where does it lead? I hope its somewhere good! Mind u, anywhere would be better than here! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ode_to_joy75 Posted August 11, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Every open door that leads to nowhere, can just as easily lead to everywhere! Take care! X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twilight Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Gosh .... u are clever aren't u!!! My head just don't filter stuff like that. Are u saying that it goes where i want it to take me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ode_to_joy75 Posted August 11, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 No, I just mean that there is hope for all of us! Our possibilities may be limited right now, but someday, hopefully our potential and possibilities will be limitless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 I was going to say if you want to know a little about me or anyone else then your better off reading the introductions (I did mine a while back now though) that may go for everyone else here, BUT as for your question of 'who shall I say is calling', then I honestly do not know what to say to that one, I suppose I could give you loads of answers, but on this occasion, I will let you tell me what my answer should be after you have read my introdcution, if that is ok? Happy x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ode_to_joy75 Posted August 11, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Happy, It seems as though my post has offended you. It was not my intention to offend anyone. I have looked at the introductions, and I could not find your post there. I am trying to look at the brighter side of things. It's something I need to do for myself right now. I'm truly sorry if I left people with the impression that I was asking for a basic introduction. That was not the objective of my post at all. How do you get to know complete strangers without first asking who they are? So, we all have one thing in common. Does that one thing mean we are all fundamenatlly the same? God, I hope not! I hope each of us is an individual, regardless of having BPD. I really am sorry if I offended you. I like reading between the lines of everything. Usually, what's written between the lines, speaks volumes above what is actually written. Perhaps you misunderstood my intentions. Or am I misunderstanding yours? Please accept my apologies if my attempt at trying to communicate with other life forms has offended you so much! What was I thinking? Thanks to everyone for the few days of acceptance. Like everything else, it was good while it lasted. Good bye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Joy, I didnt read into happy's message that she was offended... maybe i am the thick one now. you are accepted here... and we want you to stay more than a few days.. your sharing was good for me.... i like to think on that plane but it may be hard for others. here we are each free to be ourselves... to express with our own voices.. to respond or not respond to posts... we are even free to get upset occassionally. dont leave because of one percieved negative post... in the long run we are all "in the long run." dont leave us here alone. bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 PS - You did state possible trigger in your title...so we are each responsible to entertain those posts with caution. one more of just my oppionion (i think i will change my name to that!) bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 Hey!!! I was not offended at all, I was just being lazy really by letting you read all about me in the introduction rather than me type it all again! You have totally misunderstood me and please do not leave just because of that. The last bit of my message was for you to tell me about myself as I wanted to see what you thought of me just by a simple introduction (to see if you were right) as I just thought you seemed a good judge to predict people if that makes sense. I just do not have a clue what I would have wrote about myself, that was all. I WAS NOT OFFENDED AT ALL BY WHAT YOU SAID THOUGH. I do not know why you could not find my introdcution though, maybe it was that rubbish it has been deleted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 she couldnt find the introduction because it just shows the last 30 or so days. if at the bottom she clicks on "show all" all old intro's will be visible and she can find yours. bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucy Posted August 13, 2004 Report Share Posted August 13, 2004 someone with the courage and determination to keep going onwards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrissie21 Posted August 16, 2004 Report Share Posted August 16, 2004 I like Leonard Cohen too. Also I am pretty thick and dumb! hey but I understand most of this poem! Depression © from Bootleg, 1999 byChris McCloughen Depression is: - closing your eyes and seeing a loaded shotgun aimed at your head - feeling crap in the morning to hopefully not feeling so crap in the afternoon - feeling triumphant when you manage to complete a task, only to be deflated when someone criticises you for the time it has taken Depression is: - being cut off from joy - feeling like crying and yelling abuse at the same time - watching pieces of yourself fragment, so that you don't know which part is the real you - feeling victimised, got at and worn down - having little hope, praying for things to improve, while experience tells you that they won't Depression is: - feeling a failure as a parent, useless as a spouse, disconnected as a friend - wanting to find a confidant, a learned person to talk to, but everybody seems so busy - praying prayers that are not answered - talking to a God who has lost your phone number - losing the plot with the slightest bit of stress Depression is: - getting to the end of another day that has been wasted because you couldn't move outside of yourself - eating a bad diet, not exercising, and aging years in a day - thinking of things that give you joy, but having no energy to do them - knowing that even when you briefly experience something that gives you joy, that the cloud of misery will return as soon as it is finished Depression is: - praying for bread, and having a stone smashed against your head - praying for a fish, and having your mind filled with toxins - praying for vision, and being covered by a fog that cannot be seen through - praying for purpose, and feeling better off dead Depression is: - a thief, a liar, and a destroyer. It's so negative it makes me feel almost positive. The guy who wrote it is a psychiatric nurse! chrissie xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrissie21 Posted August 16, 2004 Report Share Posted August 16, 2004 I like Leonard Cohen too. Also I am pretty thick and dumb! hey but I understand most of this poem! Depression © from Bootleg, 1999 byChris McCloughen Depression is: - closing your eyes and seeing a loaded shotgun aimed at your head - feeling crap in the morning to hopefully not feeling so crap in the afternoon - feeling triumphant when you manage to complete a task, only to be deflated when someone criticises you for the time it has taken Depression is: - being cut off from joy - feeling like crying and yelling abuse at the same time - watching pieces of yourself fragment, so that you don't know which part is the real you - feeling victimised, got at and worn down - having little hope, praying for things to improve, while experience tells you that they won't Depression is: - feeling a failure as a parent, useless as a spouse, disconnected as a friend - wanting to find a confidant, a learned person to talk to, but everybody seems so busy - praying prayers that are not answered - talking to a God who has lost your phone number - losing the plot with the slightest bit of stress Depression is: - getting to the end of another day that has been wasted because you couldn't move outside of yourself - eating a bad diet, not exercising, and aging years in a day - thinking of things that give you joy, but having no energy to do them - knowing that even when you briefly experience something that gives you joy, that the cloud of misery will return as soon as it is finished Depression is: - praying for bread, and having a stone smashed against your head - praying for a fish, and having your mind filled with toxins - praying for vision, and being covered by a fog that cannot be seen through - praying for purpose, and feeling better off dead Depression is: - a thief, a liar, and a destroyer. It's so negative it makes me feel almost positive. The guy who wrote it is a psychiatric nurse! chrissie xx <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainking Posted August 17, 2004 Report Share Posted August 17, 2004 Depression © from Bootleg, 1999 by Chris McCloughen is a very moving poem i really enjoyed it thanks Chrissi21 for adding it :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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