bimmy131287 Posted May 15, 2014 Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 Hi everyone, first time ive ever posted on a sight such as this, ive recently found out I have bpd after being misdiagnosed for years and generally fobbed off. Ive never spoke to anyone with it. Im confused and angry. Lifes hard enough, it just feels impossible for me sometimes. Im so sensitive to things that trigger me into moods/phases. Im a different person I was this morning im pissed off with it tbh, dont see the point when its just a gruelling battle all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzzybee Posted May 15, 2014 Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 Welcome to the forum. Its takes courage to admit that you may need support, to express your frustrations and to reach out at a time when you sound quite alone with your thoughts, feelings and recent diagnosis. You are amongst good people, all of whom have their own individual struggles, including myself, but all of whom will, in their own way, be able to support you, if only to say 'i understand, I empathise", but those few well meaning words can be like gold dust at a time when you may feel that no one else understands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bimmy131287 Posted May 15, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 Thank you for your reply but dont any of you judt think its too hard? Im sick of being st square 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzzybee Posted May 15, 2014 Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 A diagnosis of BPD or any other diagnosis (Im not one for labels, for me it doesn't help, it hinders), is very individual and the spectrum is wide and varied. I had many many years where I couldn't cope, hated my life, hated myself and felt like an alien in a world where i felt i didn't fit. I still feel like an alien, but its not in a negative way, its positive, Im happy knowing hand on heart, that I'm a good person, have qualities which i treasure and am proud of. There are parts of me, which are vulnerable and I have learnt to love those parts…its not always easy and recently I had a horrible time where I dipped and felt powerless and out of control, but I came back, with support from understanding people. Ive also had lots of therapy, educated myself about all areas, which impact on me as a person, its just one of the ways I cope. Im also a spiritual person, which comforts me and supports me during times of distress…..i've refused to be beaten by the cards i have been handed and instead have tried to turn it around, gain positives from my life experiences, as I will not be a victim. But this is just my life philosophy, I've not always felt this way, but it was either change or let life beat me, which it did for a long time….I won't let it now. I don't know your age, but I'm 48 years old now…so I've had quite a bit of time to reach this stage. Each day I'm still learning, growing, still in need of popping back into therapy every now and then, but Im me, like me, and most of all i know me now…so i guess this is how I've coped. Its one step at a time, one day at a time and finding ways of coping, working through your personal pain and getting to know the true authentic you…..but that doesn't take away me being able to hear and understand your pain, your frustrations and how hard things are for you right now, I hear that, understand that place and hope you have support networks in place, which help you when you feel helpless and alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bimmy131287 Posted May 15, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 Im 26, I hear what you're saying and when im on a high phase or a better mood/frame of mind I believe that. But honestly I try and try and try and try. Ive stopped smoking I dont do drugs I have cut down on alcohol and stopped self harming so now I have developed a problem with binge eating and im putting on weight which is making me severely low. Its one thing after another. My relationship with my mother hurts. She denies my disorder and is emotionally neglectful. I have had several abusive relationships but am finally at a point where I have some standards now so im very single and it hurts cos I want someone, need someone but the happy ending is for pretty thin girls, normal people, It hurts too much to know nobody would wanna be with me. Im sorry im just confused. I dont start therapy for another 6 weeks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 hi there and welcome i got the diagnosis of bpd in 2012 and that's when i found this site. i liked it so much and found it so helpful i stayed i may not be here all the time but when i am i like to try to help people where i can. hope you like it here and find it as helpful as i do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b0bulat0r Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 Im 26, I hear what you're saying and when im on a high phase or a better mood/frame of mind I believe that. But honestly I try and try and try and try. Ive stopped smoking I dont do drugs I have cut down on alcohol and stopped self harming so now I have developed a problem with binge eating and im putting on weight which is making me severely low. Its one thing after another. My relationship with my mother hurts. She denies my disorder and is emotionally neglectful. I have had several abusive relationships but am finally at a point where I have some standards now so im very single and it hurts cos I want someone, need someone but the happy ending is for pretty thin girls, normal people, It hurts too much to know nobody would wanna be with me. Im sorry im just confused. I dont start therapy for another 6 weeks Hi There and welcome to the site, You are not alone there, I'm 27 and have been single for 5 years, few points i'd like to say, "normal people" what is normal? if you scratch beneath the surface I doubt anyone is "normal" we are all different, we all have our issues and flaws, we all have our beauty and our own gifts, "the happy ending is for pretty thin girls" not every guy likes the same thing, some men actually prefer girls who aren't overly thin, some men do prefer bigger girls, love is possible for everyone, "nobody would want to be with me" I think this is a condition we cause ourselves, I'm learning slowly to try to love myself, I think its very difficult to expect others to when we can't love ourselves, I think thats a big important first step before we can find it, I hope you find what you are looking for in this forum it is a nice friendly and supportive place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lalissa Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 Hi bimmy, welcome to the forums, i'm sure you will find lots of people here who understand how hard it can be, maybe now you have a diagnosis at least you know what you are dealing with and can take steps to improve things,, see you around, xx lali xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peazay Posted July 4, 2014 Report Share Posted July 4, 2014 Hi Bimmy I'm 27 and have BPD and depression. I also am very sensitive to everything like you and go from one mood/personality to the next in a matter of hours. It is a very difficult illness to live with. I hope you find done support here, I'm also new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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