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Help.i Can't Handle My Memories


Eagleheart

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Eagleheart what is the biggest, most dangerous, vicious animal

real or imaginary

that cannot be harmed because it is so incredibly powerful and strong?

an animal that would terrify any living creature

it can be any size at all

visualising this animal

please imagine yourself growing into being this animal

feel its power

its anger

sense that it is terrifying

now visualise that person

as you are on his lap

turning into this animal

and notice what happens to him

your parents are safe

but he is not safe from you

if you can do this visualisation

as vivid as it comes up

it takes practice

to repeat again and again

turning into that creature

i hope this serves as useful to you

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(((mousie))) Your advice is invaluable.I can already feel my heartbeat slowing & muscles that have been tightly knotted all day are easing off.That is down to you & the advice you just offered me.

I have a dragon inside me,a fierce creature that gets really pissed off when i get attacked by bad people/things.I found a card with a beautiful painting of a dragon on it.The details are amazing & it's a very close representation of my dragon.I put it in a nice photo frame & it sits on my dresser in the living room,where i can see it all the time.

I also found a silver dragon ring.It took some searching,but i found the perfect one.So my dragon lies wrapped around my left index finger where i can look at it & connect with that inner dragon.I find it extremely reassuring.

Thank you for shifting my focus.It's exactly what was needed.I hope you are ok.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Dearest Eagleheart, I am on a mobile phone, is why I cannot respond in full. But I am sending, lending, strength to your dragon, I am pushing willing bursting forward from this heart With love, and compassion, understanding and sympathy, Draw this pull this, feel this if you can, I am with you right now, And you are and were, never far from our mind. We wish push kiss, and hug, and hand, to touch, And soothe, you. The little one you were, We admire the woman you are, Wishes for peace and light to reach you, Mbb xxxxxx

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i am in awe of you

dragon of strength

fierce protector

sweet friend

foe to those that dare harm the innocent

i have one request

for you to roar loud as your mighty voice can at that person

and sense your power, your wrath

roar many times

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(((moonbeambeth))) Heartfelt thanks.

(((mousie))) On my own,i am so weak.But with the support of my friends,i think maybe i can keep going.

I think i might have let a bad person into my life.I'm not sure,but hubby is concerned by it.I AM TOO FUCKING TRUSTING.

I ASSUME ALL PEOPLE ARE WHO THEY SAY THEY ARE.This idiotic belief has caused me to be deeply hurt,used,lied to & manipulated.I think it's about to happen again...................i am such a stupid simpleton.I FUCKING HATE ME.

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You're not stupid, nor are you a simpleton, Eagleheart. A lot is going on, emotions running high and patience with self wearing thin. You 'may' have let a bad person into your life and you yourself are not sure. Does your husband know them, to give him cause for concern? It sounds that at the moment you're more swayed by his opinion? I understand he's your rock and a huge source of support and maybe you can use this to talk things over about this person, rather than let what your husband said make you jump to conclusions. I totally get what you mean by being manipulated easily, and that often counts for the good and bad people. Truth is, there are bad eggs out there but without trying to confront these situations, there is no way of learning how to be around those people without putting oneself on the line. The other alternative is to shut oneself off from everyone, just in case it may happen again, but it is hardly a life. Sending kind thoughts your way.

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oh Eagleheart!!

this is a bizarre cause for celebration!!

and i reckon you're going to say what the firetruck?!!

cos the thing is

you have become aware

and awareness is a hugely massively awesomely big thing in self preservation

i know this because i am STILL vulnerable

as you are

i am still gullible

i am still suckered by people

and taken advantage of

but like you, that doesn't make me stupid or bad

it is embarrassing. humiliating

all that crappy 'should have known'...

'should be wise to it by now'...

'not again' stuff rattling around within is understandable BUT

that's logical, thinking mind accusing emotional mind...

attachment, deep sensing, non logical, emotional self as Fabhcún Gorm said

of not being logical!!

and of course there's a whole lot of how a biological organism like you, like me, functions isn't like a computer!!

but people, you, are beautiful :) would you want a warm relationship with a person or a computer?!!

so...

give yourself some recognition for becoming aware

and it is awesome cool that you have shared it here. that takes courage i believe

now, if you're up for it, process it with your friends and hubby as much as you're ready to

and know that it would total a complete hypocrisy if anyone were to say you're daft for being vulnerable

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I don't want to dismiss that what is happening is distressing I just mean being aware makes a difference I'm sorry if I come across as stupidly positive

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Eagleheart, your not those awful things you say about yourself, your not any of that. People can hoodwink us, people can be sly, manipulative and get us to believe that they are something that their not. This still happens to me, I get caught out by people, because there is a part of me that really wants to trust and believe…that doesn't make you, i or anyone else stupid, its not our stuff, its their stuff, their deceit, their bullshit.

Know you have friends here, people who care, people who walk the same/ similar path, people who stumble in the same areas..we are all learning, we are all trying to survive and make sense of the world and people around us, that my dear Eagleheart takes courage, strength and determination….we have got hold of your hand, we are walking alongside you, a team xx

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Sorry i have not been on to thank you all.I have been reading your lovely,encouraging posts & tbh,they make me feel so humble.

I struggle not to feel deeply unworthy of such deep care & concern.You are all putting so much of yourselves into what you say & i feel bad that i am taking from you,receiving your good energy,sapping the life out of you.

I can't face you all,i feel too disgusting,too unworthy.You are my friends & that very fact freaks me out.You are good people,you're not out to trick me or use me or laugh at me.I WANT your friendship so badly,it hurts in my chest,or is it my soul? I don't know.I feel big waves of fear-fear of letting you get to know me-you won't like me once you know me.That's what's happened over & over in the past year or so.I can't trust my own judgment anymore,but i absolutely KNOW that every one of you are trustworthy.

I hope you can make sense of this silly babbling.I love you guys,i really do.

Please know that all your words are a balm to my heart.I just feel way too over-emotional at the mo.

I have lost my way.I am a scared little girl wandering through alien places,so very frightened,wailing with fear.It hurts.

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hey Eagleheart

you aren't taking anything

you aren't 'doing' anything to anyone here

each one of us chooses to write here

and we are responsible for ourselves

you are not responsible for us :)

so...

what you receive is there for the taking

no expectations on you taking support that's offered or not

and if you take it, then its yours to take

and you will know from your own experiences

that if you do something from the heart for someone

it brings you happiness and connection

so when you receive from folks here

it brings them a good feeling too

and this includes me

and more than anything else

one of the most important things that anyone could ever want or need

is a deep, meaningful emotional connection with another

and that's what we all do here

love is everything. love through each attachment you, i, we, make

and its important you're safe

and that nobody here takes advantage of you

and being wary is quite a healthy thing

and doesn't mean you're being horrible

given what you've said, its quite wise and rational

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