BlueDragon Posted July 21, 2014 Report Share Posted July 21, 2014 Hello guys, I am 25 years old and after many different diagnoses it was settled on BPD about 6 months ago. I just recently started reducing my anti-psychotic and am finding myself experiencing things rather intensely again. I'm trying to find a way of dealing with it all one step at a time. To come off medication entirely is my goal but I know I'm going to need a bit of help to begin with. The main symptoms I have are: Hearing voices Flashbacks Delusions/paranoia Anxiety Depression Disassociation Impulsive spending Disordered eating Chaotic thoughts I take risperidone and cymbalta. I don't drink or smoke or do drugs, I don't eat junk food, I take vitamins everyday like vitamin c niacin and flaxseed oil, I exercise, I have a steady job, I don't have sex or get into relationships, at least I've been single for 3 years. I work alone and have no problem with it but I get flashbacks if I stay on my own for too long when I am at home. I used to hallucinate 13 hours a day but it has now been reduced to no more then 2 hours by just using various techniques I've picked up along the way. All the best everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted July 22, 2014 Report Share Posted July 22, 2014 It sounds like you have a lot of self awareness and take responsibilty for your well being. Welcome to the forum blue dragon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratherin Posted July 22, 2014 Report Share Posted July 22, 2014 Welcome hope we can help Keep working at it, stay positive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapwing Posted July 22, 2014 Report Share Posted July 22, 2014 Hi there - it's great that you've managed to reduce some of your symptoms using self help techniques. I hope you like it here... Its great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted July 22, 2014 Report Share Posted July 22, 2014 Hi, I take risperidone too and I must admit that it helped a lot with the ghosts/auditive hallucinations/whatever it was. Would you mind precising what sort of self help has worked on you? Anyway, warm welcome to the community. Everyone is so friendly and open-minded, it's a great place to be! Love these forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueDragon Posted July 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2014 Thanks for the welcome guys Threemoons I just decided to find my own explanations for why I was hallucinating and it worked. Some ideas: Stay active, the voices indicate I am hiding from reality whether that be feeling an emotion or a reluctance to interact with the world and other people. it indicates I am disassociating. they shout and scream at me and say things to get an emotional response, making the amount of pain I am in the same whether i am in reality or listening to the voices, until I decide to be independent again and force myself to rely on myself by interacting with reality again.The voices spring up from dwelling on the past, triggers, traumatic events, events where I was too afraid to say anything or defend myself, as a result they create self hatred, worthlessness, depression, but it also leads to a fear of the future and further triggers, constant anxiety. A combination of depression and anxiety. The pain of it leads to more voices, and I focus more on them then reality, so this leads to neglecting the present. If I hallucinate now the first thing I do is say 'why am i hallucinating?'. and say out loud or think to myself a list of all the things triggering my reluctance to interact with reality. I will say outloud every emotion I am feeling, and observe my thoughts 'I am thinking this because'. I do not get angry at the voices, I am not afraid of them, I just observe them, and then actively do something to turn away from them and focus on reality. The hardest part of learning this was solidifying my belief that the voices do not know more about the world then I do, there is nothing special about them, it is just another experience that can be lived with like anything else. I view the voices like another emotion, they are indicators. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted July 24, 2014 Report Share Posted July 24, 2014 Hey, you seem to be doing really well by getting some distance from the voices and cleverly analizing them. Keep up the good work. With love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted July 24, 2014 Report Share Posted July 24, 2014 I agree you should make a separate post about conquering the voices, I think it would help a lot of others looking for answers. *You're very bright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted July 28, 2014 Report Share Posted July 28, 2014 hi and welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueDragon Posted July 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2014 I agree you should make a separate post about conquering the voices, I think it would help a lot of others looking for answers. *You're very bright. Hi everyone thank you for the welcome. Maybe, I'm not very confident in myself to tell other people about what I've experienced. Last year I thought the voices were from a higher part of me in a spiritual sense it's only recently that I've come to see it as the above, I'm always coming up with new explanations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hterag Posted August 8, 2014 Report Share Posted August 8, 2014 I only registered today but it's been a huge help reading all the posts. It sounds like youre at least in partial control, which is great. All the best and look forward to your posts. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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