Any Advice Out There? ?

[GUSCOTT]

Hi. I have been diagnosed with BPD, CPTSD, DEPRESSION....Anyway the advice I am looking for, at first, seems completely unrelated! For years I have wanted a dog but my husband says no (for some sensible and selfish reasons). We are not a tactile family at all. I spend several hours a day, during the week, on my own. I would love to have a dog as a companion. Also, I believe my family and I could adopt an older dog and give it a good home. My husband is a really good man. He is ten yrs my senior and I often make myself feel inferior to him. He is the sole bread winner in the family so the financial costs fall on him. However I do have money of my own and don't buy much for myself. I am obese and v unfit. I think I could motivate myself to walk a dog. Yrs ago, my husband said the only breed of dog he would consider is a Weimaraner. Well an 8yr old male has just become available at the lical dogs trust. I have three kuds who would love the dog but they are not part of my concern at the moment. My ? Is, do I respect my husband as when I am ill (not been hospitalised overnight for more than 3yrs) he has to pick up the slack, or do I stand my ground and go have a look at the Dogs Trust Centre today???

[Peregrine]

What a wonderful idea to get a dog! They have improved my mental health greatly and I would not want to be without them. Just being able to go out for walks, sometimes just for the dog's sake, but on coming back home you feel so much better. Before you settle on the idea, I would speak once more with your husband. I understand how important it is to stand your ground but it is an added responsibility that will be there day in day out and if your husband doesn't want a dog full stop, the responsibility of caring for it will fall on you every day, come rain or shine outdoors or in your mind. If you are happy to push yourself, it's a brilliant way to fight the blues. I don't have anyone I could ask to walk my dogs and sometimes it is really hard, when I'm low or in an altogether different mind set. But I've learnt that this mustn't come between me and the dogs. I am responsible for them and you can't reason with them for having an off day. I think an older dog is a good idea, although you have to be prepared financially to deal with whatever health problem comes up. If you want insurance, older dogs are more expensive. The advantage of older dogs is that they are calmer and may not be able/need to walk miles on end. With a younger dog, it's a requirement as too little exercise leads to all sorts of behavioural problems. Have you considered volunteering with the dogs Trust? You may be able to walk their dogs which would give you a taste of what's to come. With the bonus of being able to hand them back. It may help you come to a conclusion whether you're ready for this responsibility. Good luck in finding your companion!

[maddy harper]

awwww, i hope you can get some kind of furry animal

i find mine so helpful in my theropy....

[hterag]

It's hard to judge but i feel you should respect your husband's decision. Not having a dog is quite normal and managable, whether you want one or not, but having a dog when you don't want one could be quite a stress. Have you thought of volunteering to walk dogs?