angel tears Posted August 10, 2014 Report Share Posted August 10, 2014 Hi I will of had 24 days off work by the time that my sick note runs out this Friday, I was signed off with depression and given some meds for it with no other advice about returning etc.. Then the agency that I work for have lost my sick note!!! But they have stopped pestering me now after I spoke to them however I am still getting txts from them saying I wasn't needed that day and I am the sick. I feel stuck because I am just getting my IBS, migraines etc under control which were caused by stress anyway but my asthma is still not right which is also worse since I got stressed and depressed again but I need the money too. My partner works full time but his money doesn't pay for everything, I get DLA at the highest rate but I can't get any benefits because he earns too much, about £15,000 plus we have got the rest of the wedding to pay for in October. Once that is out of the way money wouldn't be so needed. I am feeling so much better being at home, I have realised how ill I was getting working. Not sure what to do?? Any advice thanks xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted August 10, 2014 Report Share Posted August 10, 2014 Would you feel less stressed if you were working from home hun? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peregrine Posted August 10, 2014 Report Share Posted August 10, 2014 Hi angel, it sounds to me as if it's not work that is/was stressing you out but the type of work, the people there and the way the place is organised. It's a huge shambles how they've dealt with your situation and I would probably consider whether I would want to work there for the long-term. What i would try and work out for myself is whether i could work until all the money is saved for the wedding and then call it quits there. But if I felt that a couple more months would ruin my health, I wouldn't return and make cuts for the wedding. It's really not worth it to be so ill for your wedding just to have paid for things to make the wedding look nice. I hope I've expressed this right... of course you want a fabulous wedding with all of the things you have chosen to make it an unforgettable day for yourselves and your guests. But if you're so stressed out on the day, that you have no end of headaches and a painful stomach, I would rather have smaller flower arrangements or one less item on the menu. I wouldn't make any decisions for whether to work in the long term just yet. The first step i would take is round about the wedding. You've had a good go at work and maybe it wasn't the right place. I used to work in a large team in a factory once. Only for 3 months but it was the job that made me unhappy, not the working life. There may be other types of job that would suit you better in the long run, maybe in a smaller team without shift work. Sometimes we do have to work to earn the money, but long term, in my opinion, work is about personal growth, development and fulfilment. Home is safe and an awesome place to recover, and enjoy peace and quiet when the outside world is too much. But it's also a place where personal negativity can fester. It's all about the balance. Hope you can find a way to come to a decision. Shortterm first, then longterm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted August 10, 2014 Report Share Posted August 10, 2014 Is it going to be a big traditional wedding? That would be very stressful. When i got married,it cost £50. I wore a bright outfit & we had a registry office ceremony,then all back to ours for a ceilidh. It was cheap & cheerful & hugely fun. My sister had a big showy wedding that she paid for for 5yrs. I know it's too late to re-think the wedding but making a few cutbacks might help you.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted August 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2014 Hi It's a wedding in Whitby, registry office then a meal which my partners dad has paid for. I have paid already for the registry office, dress, rings etc but now I need a new passport and £175 left for our honeymoon which I have nearly paid for now in Morocco. The rest of the flowers need paying for £75 and just some spending money plus some shoes, everything else will be paid up by his dad. Then we have got an MOT for the car and if that goes wrong I dunno what we will do. My partner has money issues, he leaves me with all of the stress until I break down. His dad bails him out and I just can't get through to him. He is soooo calm it scares me!!!. Can you work from home?. Xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted August 10, 2014 Report Share Posted August 10, 2014 My sister works from home,selling high quality candles & accessories. She can work at her own rate & has built up a great customer base. I won't mention the company on the forum but if you are interested,pm me & i can fill you in.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted August 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2014 Ok thanks Hun xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted August 10, 2014 Report Share Posted August 10, 2014 Hope that you get a wonderful wedding and that you don't get too ill, Angel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted August 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2014 Thanks moon I don't want to get that poorly again, it feels like it is easing with my anti depressant, therapy and being at home. I got an email this afternoon saying I have been accepted on an animal veterinary course at college!! Now I am torn!!!. I applied in January!! Xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapwing Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 Hi Angel tears, Sorry things are so tough right now... it does sound a bit like your current job isn't helping, but I totally understand that knowing something and being able to act on it for practical reasons are two very different things. Is the course something you'd really like to do? Might help you if it is - I find work incredibly difficult a lot of the time, but the fact I enjoy it and care passionately about it is a huge help. Could you investigate home working as mentioned, or perhaps some part time work? Take care xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted August 11, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 Hi I feel like I am being pushed in to work arghhh my partner is worried about money which I understand and today I have spent all day chasing the agency to check my job is still there and have got no answers. I can't think straight xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 Keep calm, dear Angel, there's no reason your job would not be there, is there? I'm sorry you're having money problems. Maybe a call to your bank would clear it out? I hope something can be sorted. Take good care of yourself please, you're important to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapwing Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 I wonder if someone like Citizens Advice might be able to help you out if you've got money worries? Please take care of yourself and do your best to stay calm xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted August 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 Hi My job is still there but seriously I am feeling so depressed again and my IBS is straight back up I look like a balloon. I am seriously gonna look in to working at home. Got a lumbar puncture next Friday as my optic discs are swollen too, last time i ended up on morphine after one of those. Just facing so many issues but yes I will stay calm Xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted August 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 I will look in to part time work too. I feel too exhausted today to even clean up xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapwing Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 Baby steps are all that is needed right now... take things one at a time - first of all with taking care of yourself... (((addy))) xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 Alright, thanks for the update. We're all with you, dear. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted August 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 That's ok. I have called the agency 2 times to discuss what could help, left messages.... No reply 2 emails to them - no reply 2 txt to work - one reply saying bring fit to work note in if I get one!! Xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lapwing Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 (((angel tears))) xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted August 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 Hi again The agency just called, wanted to know why I haven't been in touch with them!! I explained I had been trying and that I have to see my g.p before I can know what to do next. They just totally dismissed my depression when I brought it up and when I asked him if they could help me return to work he just said let me know if you want us to keep your job open or not and that was it. He said they can't help me at all. I feel totally invalidated and shit now I understand it's agency work and I can't do anything about it either as I am a flexible worker. I feel tipped over now, so sad Xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 Oh, Angel, I'm sorry you got this unhelpful reply. This is not fair. I know you would like to be fit to work. Sending many hugs and love your way. Know that I care for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted August 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 Thanks moon I am going to look for another job, there will b better employers out there. I am looking at a job agency for people with disabilities.... At least then they will understand better I do feel upset but I will bounce back. Might see about altering my anti d dose too xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted August 13, 2014 Report Share Posted August 13, 2014 Ah, good move! I sure hope they will understand better. Be cautious about your anti-D though. You wouldn't want to lower the dose too much so your mood would crash. Go for a better employer, sounds like a good plan! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel tears Posted August 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 13, 2014 Yes I am going to visit the g.p today. I feel that my depression is worse . I am so up and down xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 15, 2014 Report Share Posted August 15, 2014 I'm sorry about what happened Angel. It doesn't sound like a good place for you to work but its good you are being so positive about it and looking for somewhere else. Being depressed doesn't always make you unfit for work- it just makes you unfit for work in certain unhelpful disorganised environments. If you find somewhere where you are understood and supported they will soon see what a valuable hardworking supportive and determined worker you are. The perfect employee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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