Hello...

[farneston]

Hi, I'm new.

This a brief background of myself:

- I got ill when I was 17, and saw an NHS team. I hated it, they were abusive and tried to destroy me. They said stuff like "you're bad because you don't contribute" and "you have no right to have sex" and "your brother is a superior human to you".

- I am 35 now, and have recovered largely, but I think the problem then and now is that I feel smothered and cannot be myself. I think my family over-complicate my life on so many levels. I don't have contact with many of them, but then it's not the same.

[Ben_W_Power]

Hello farneston. I'm very new here myself. I thought I'd say hi. Sorry to hear about your difficulties. I hope you find something useful here. It seems like a nice enough place and the resources are extensive. The mid to late 90s wasn't a good time for NHS psychiatric services. Notoriously so. I wasn't fond of being 17 around them either, although that was a few years later. It seems a little bit better now, well, occasionally. Glad you feel recovered, at least in part. Distance from family strife seems prudent, if not always practical. I'm sure I'll be about here ever so often if you would like to discuss anything. Greetings again, and best regards, Ben

[Riverspell]

Welcome to both of you!

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles Farneston. I've always had a hard time dealing with therapists and psychiatrists and the like. They just...unnerve me and I find it incredibly hard to trust people. A fair number of them, too, have been cruel to me. However I'm learning that not all of them act that way and that seeking help is better than stuffing it down and ending up in a hospital or some such. I live in America and unfortunately most of my hospitalizations have been horrible because the staff are improperly trained or overwhelmed. So In the end I decided it'd be easier to find a therapist I could deal with. I suppose it's paying off as I haven't been admitted in nearly a year, a true record for me!

We're a supportive, friendly bunch here. Everyone has helped me come out of my shell more and more and I hope you find your experience here a good one and worth it. My own family has largely separated from me, my dad kicked me out earlier this year. However, like you (if I'm understanding you right), I am learning that having some separation from them is allowing me to expand my borders and grow a bit.

If you ever need to talk, shoot me a message. I've been a bit slower on here of late but I make sure to pop in and check for messages every day. =)

[farneston]

Thanks, to both of you.

I've said this a lot before, but then I see that many here have quite bad issues, and I feel out of place complaining about mine. Maybe I just need to develop better coping skills, and to be more domineering in how I approach things (whilst respecting others' needs/rights).

[JoBrown]

Hi Farneston welcome to the Forum x

[Riverspell]

I felt bad talking about mine as well Farneston. In the beginning mostly but still now at times.

The thing I had to tell myself, and remind myself of, is that everyone's walk in life is different and therefore unique. This does not mean that a persons life events and challenges are greater or lesser than anyone elses. We all have the right to seek help and to voice our difficulties. However ridiculing someone for their's, telling them their's isn't bad at all and shouldn't be "complaining" is wrong. No one has the right to do that.

We're a support group of sorts. Or I think of us that way. We support each other, even teach each other at times and share ideas and skills and thoughts. I've yet to meet anyone on here that is cruel or disrespectful to anyone and the few I've heard about were rapidly banned from the forums. I like to think of this as a safe place to go to should I need to express myself and a place to hang out with others and feel safe and free of judgement.

Don't feel bad Farnestone, you're just fine the way you are and there's nothing wrong with you expressing yourself.

[Threemoons]

Hey Farneston. I agree with Riverspell, you should never feel bad about opening up and voicing your concerns. In fact I view opening up as a big part of recovery. It's true that we are a friendly bunch here, respect and kindness are great values of us. Really, there's nothing to fear from us. We're talkative and open-minded so feel free to drop us a line anytime. I believe in your strengths and potentials. Just empower yourself and speak out. You won't regret it. Sending you hugs and love.