kbeeb Posted September 10, 2014 Report Share Posted September 10, 2014 Hi im new here. Im female, 35, have had 3 nervous breakdowns in total. This one is destroying my life and I have 2 kids to look after. I feel as if I am a lost child and need constant care and reassurance. I know anxiety and panic cant hurt me, its not that. Last time it was health anxiety, this time its generalised and I have been put on Chlopromazine 50mg every few hours its that bad. Thinking people are going to come and get me (police) and lock me up.....long story and I know it sounds rediculous but please is anyone out there who can relate? I have had anxiety since I was a kid. Also have BPD. I have been seeing a home treatment team and they do help but everyday I wake up its a feeling of dread and dark hopelessness. Also on 100mg sertraline. Please anyone?? Im so alone feeling right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted September 15, 2014 Report Share Posted September 15, 2014 Kbeeb....can you speak truthfully with your treatment team?? Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbeeb Posted October 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2014 thanks steve, yes they know everything k Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted October 4, 2014 Report Share Posted October 4, 2014 I have been in that state of constant fear fear of being alive fear of the weather, of well just of everything it is horrible and we feel for you glad the ht team are helping it is not bad to take the meds if they help how long have you been taking them? sometimes it takes a while to get the full effect we used to take quetiapine - another antipsychotic - and found it VERY helpful in calming the billion thoughts and concerns another med that is meant to be good for anxiety is pregabalin when I first broke down and left work - some years ago now - I felt just like you are describing like a lost child in need of constant care and just dying inside keep talking to your team and on here and sometimes writing down how things are helps to 'get them out of your head' xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbeeb Posted October 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2014 Thank you Walker, Yes I am 35 and feel like a lost child. My mother is slowly loosing patience with me, The latest obsession is fear of breaking the law. I cannot get it out of my head and fear it so much , its illogical and ruins my life. I am on Quetiapine, sertlaline,chloromazine and diazapam. What a mess Thanks for understanding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 4, 2014 Report Share Posted October 4, 2014 Hey Kbeeb, hope today is not too hard on you. I don't have BPD but I can relate to the constant anxiety and feeling like a lost child, it's not a nice feeling. Do you feel your meds are helping? Yes, it's illogical, that's the nature of high anxiety. You can tell yourself all the usual reassuring stuff and still fear like you're about to be sent in jail. But at least you know it's irrational and not the truth. How do you cope with looking after your kids? I send you hugs and love. Keep holding on, dear buddy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbeeb Posted October 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2014 hi and thanks Yeah, it has ruined my life up till now. My kids are great and keep me oing but its hard. I have a lot of support in place for them. I really want out of this. I used to be such a laid back person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 4, 2014 Report Share Posted October 4, 2014 Things will get better, Kbeeb, just let it some time. Since how long do you get treatment for your problems? Are they just meds or do you have therapy also? It's good that your kids keep you going! Keep having strength from their love and also remember to take one thing at a time. Kuddos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted October 4, 2014 Report Share Posted October 4, 2014 just want to say diazepam made our anxiety go through the roof now even if we take it just a couple of times (or its 'relations' like lorazepam etc) then within the day things start to get worse and it will stay worse for up to about 4 wks since taking the last dose it works fast but I want to always avoid it in the future as EVERY time I have been on it my anxiety has increased dramatically Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbeeb Posted October 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2014 thats worrying as it seems to be the only drug that calms things down. I know the risks and dont abuse it. Thanks for your repy. Youve all been great help xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted October 5, 2014 Report Share Posted October 5, 2014 sorry for worrying you I have abused it in the past but this last stuff happened when I was literally only taking 1 lorazepam yes it does calm things down but we found it had a sting in its tail personally would say quetiapine is better and safer the trouble is - the only way we worked it out was by stopping it for a whole month - and that was SO scary at the time as we were panicking over everything - even things like getting stuck on a puzzle!! but after a month things calmed down, and this has happened on at least 3 occasions now everyone is different - it may not do this to you at all xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbeeb Posted October 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 thanks the worrying has reached new levels and has now mmoved onto the next thing, like that game at the fairgrond where you have to hit the gremlins and no sooner have you bashe one down, another pops up. Thats how my anxiety is working right now. I loathe it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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