Data Posted September 10, 2014 Report Share Posted September 10, 2014 Why does everything seem pointless? I do things but I don't know why I do them. There is no plan, no purpose, I don't know why things should need to have a point. I get pleasure from things, but pleasure is just a distraction from the inner pain. I am so angry. Its a non-specific anger. I was shouting to myself at work today, I had to go outside to calm down. Work is a constant struggle. My boss is nice to me, then he goes back to his usual abrasive/critical/negative self, then he is nice today. I had a meeting today with the supervisor and director and the option of "pulling the plug" on my project (and hence my job) was mentioned. It was not an optimistic meeting. I am carrying on for now, what choice do I have. There is a walk on Saturday afternoon, that will be nice, although I find the social side of things difficult. I find everything difficult. The only thing I really look forward to is getting utterly and completely pissed on Friday night. This is my third sober night and I miss alcohol. My son wants a cuddle but I can't bear to touch him, I don't want to be near anyone. I have my headphones on. I can't talk to my wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbeeb Posted September 11, 2014 Report Share Posted September 11, 2014 didnt want to read and run. Sounds like youre having a hard time of it. Being a parent when youre hurting inside is tough as well. Hoping you find some peace soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted September 11, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2014 Thanks kbeeb... at least someone cares! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artemis84 Posted September 11, 2014 Report Share Posted September 11, 2014 Data, I'm sorry you are having such a rough time at the moment. I have felt you have been in pain in several of your recent posts and that makes me sad. I think the pressures of your job and its uncertain future must be really knocking your self esteem at the moment and feeling low about yourself anyway makes everything else that happens just so much more difficult to bear. I'm afraid I don't have any magic words of wisdom but I think you are doing the right things. Try and take some time to appreciate your achievements each day, one of which is your strength to keep going through the difficult times day after day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted September 11, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2014 Thanks artemis. I have decided to start looking for a new job. Its killing me where I am at the moment. It will be very difficult though. I've only been there for 10 months and I am a highly specialised software professional living with a family with children in a low-tech area. Ho hum..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted September 11, 2014 Report Share Posted September 11, 2014 Many gentle hugs to you, Data. I'm truly sorry that your job is affecting you so much. The advice to take some time for yourself is a good one if you can. Hold on, dear, we're all with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farneston Posted September 18, 2014 Report Share Posted September 18, 2014 I always think in any crisis to find a way out. Is there another job you can do? As for your son, well you can tell him that sometimes you're upset/mad, but don't mean it in a bad way, and you still care for him. And drinking, well do you have a problem with this? Just you mentioned 3 days sober....though there's nothing wrong in getting drunk every Friday, if this is what you choose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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