Christine001 Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 I hate myself, all of the time and for as long as I can remember.I function better than other times but as I have got older the fight I have to survive and the compassion for myself get less and less. I know that abused humans can take on self blame and that people say there is no reason to hate myself but I still do. Because of the daily pain of self hatred and how worn out I am I eventually tried to seek but it went wrong because my self hatred got in the way. my question is that if even the most skilled PD services are based on people needing to want to make their lives better and work hard to do this how does that work for someone who hates themselves so much they will destroy any attempts to be helped and don't want to be helped because they don't believe they deserve it. Surely this is a contradiction and is most likely to lead to suicide in the end. Am I one of those people who can't be helped? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaisyChain Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 I dont believe that you are one of those people that cant be helped. I believe it is going to be a long hard road for you, but youve been walking one of those for a long time, so you know how to do it and stay here. I hated myself for so long and still have times when I do but by letting my guard lower and letting others in I have come to realise that I am not to blame for everything, I do have self worth and I deserve to be happy. Its hard work and I fall back often but I came to a point where there was nothing left to lose and I accepted someone's kindness. For me having counselling helped, and little by little I push people away less, even when I feel they are wrong for helping me. I hope you keep on the fight Christine, you too deserve to be happy x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted September 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 point is you cant seek help if you don't think you deserve help. if you do seek help as you don't deserve it you will make sure it fails. = stop trying just keep going and don't expect happiness. its not possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 forget about 'deserving it' think about 'needing it' and we are sure part of you at least 'needs' it - and sometimes is able to recognise this THAT is the part that must carry you towards help and hold you there when other parts are trying/telling/begging/demanding - that you sabotage it however we are currently not engaging with 'help' - so what do we know !!!! (deserving - somehow ranks you against others and their problems needing - is not so comparative and each case can be taken more in isolation) perhaps!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 Walker...spot on. Daisy...completely agree too. Christine...in your own way you are asking for help by writing here?? You are receiving reassurance others have felt as unworthy...and it is possible for your life to change Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dice Posted September 20, 2014 Report Share Posted September 20, 2014 I cannot add on anymore than what this lot has said already but I can say is YOU very much deserve to be happy in your life!!!... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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