chrisgarrett Posted September 27, 2014 Report Share Posted September 27, 2014 I was sat here thinking the other day, over a cup of coffee to be exact. why is it that withing the matter of hours I can go from boyent and happy to raged or just plain sad... I went to see the psychiatrist the other day which was a follow up appointment to discuss initial findings and discuss the possibility of BPD being present. He went through my life step by step, It kind of felt like I was doing some kind of police interview creating a timeline. After a while he came to the conlusion that I didnt have full on BPD but personality disorder traits, Whatever the heck that means... Anyway he states that I am to take some kind of mood stableising drug and do some cbt etc... Talking he said, Talking is the most important thing you can do... OK I thought I talk every blooming day.... This is my problem and maybe one of you guys can shed some light on this.... I had a pretty crap childhood. It was what you may call fairly abusive in every single way you can think of from verbal to emotional to physical with a bit of sexual thrown in to complete the bunch. Anyway without waffling to much which I am clearly doing =0) I can not link any emotion to things when I talk... I talk very much matter of fact.. example... OK so I was groomed and raped by a guy over a period of 9 months I was battered black nd blue for years by my father. I never had any love or affection from parents (they tried to buy me off with gifts). Now I can talk till im blue in the face about these things but I never seem to be able to latch any emotion I just talk about them as if I were reading from a boook or somethinhg. However they have certainly affected my ability to create good attatchments with people, Below is attatched a basic schematic of what he was talking about when he explained.. May be of some use to someone who knows. note the filter in the centre, This is based on the mornal rational adult who can deal and cope with stress and emotions in a rational way without resulting in swaying damaging emotions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detroitguy Posted September 27, 2014 Report Share Posted September 27, 2014 Hi Chris - I give you credit for sharing and finally addressing your issues at this point in your life. I think CBT is a great idea. You may want to also delve a bit into ACT as well (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). Probably when your emotions are going all over the place, there are certain thoughts going on in your head at the same time. With the therapist, you will be able to start discovering these "core beliefs" about yourself and bring them more into conscious awareness. I think most of us on the forum have established some really negative beliefs about ourselves due to the trauma we had been through. It can take awhile, but is essential that we start forming healthier and more realistic beliefs about ourselves. Good luck on your journey! I am sure that you will eventually arrive into a better emotional place. Detroitguy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted September 27, 2014 Report Share Posted September 27, 2014 Best of luck Chris, I hope CBT works for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisgarrett Posted September 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 OK so along with this cbt and some emotional regulation course the doc also wants to put me on a low dose of quetiapine... anyone ever heard of this,,,, I have to be honest the whole idea of so anti sychotic drug being used on me even if only a small dose freaks the hell out of me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted September 29, 2014 Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 bloody brilliant stuff for 'calming' the mind although start low - some people are very resilient to it - I wasnt it will also probably make you very drowsy to start with I used to take 300mg a day but felt permanently drunk (actually was started on 400mg and fell down the stairs!!) so took it down to 100 and then stopped it later just used 25mg for bad head days, and it really helped, although it started to make my blood pressure drop v low and make me feel really shit just for a few minutes but scary so don't take it now sad though because found it really good when head would not stop racing around it can give quite a 'hung over' sort of feeling though was also - like you - freaked out by being put on an 'antipsychotic' but it is very widely used and is increasingly being used in hospitals as an alternative to valium to help calm people good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisgarrett Posted September 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 thanks walker =0) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artemis84 Posted September 29, 2014 Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 yup, I take it. Like walker, I find it is really useful at shutting the goddamn thoughts up and I also find it can make me very drowsy so agree that getting the dose adjusted right is important. I was started on chlorpromazine in hospital (another antipsychotic) and no-one ever told me why I was put on one but guess they knew it might work. It did but I had too many side effects from that so my pdoc on discharge to the 'real world' agreed to change it to quetiapine. Wouldn't be without it now - don't care about the label! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisgarrett Posted October 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 ok so day one on this drug only 2 x 25mg for first week then 4 x 25mg thereafter gotta say they make me very sleepy and a little generally not well kinda spaced a bit is that normal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artemis84 Posted October 1, 2014 Report Share Posted October 1, 2014 yes, totally! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisgarrett Posted October 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 well i hope those feelings pass and i start feeling better cause i think id rather feel emotional that crappy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 Hugs to you, Chris. I hope the feeling passes soon as it should. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisgarrett Posted October 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 I sure hope so this is not a very good feeling. Im a self employed builder so cant be feeling like im going to fall asleep when im up a ladder or on a roof or worse still using a saw ill do meself a mischief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 Ouch, please be extra careful, Chris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.