Data Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 Well work was hellish today. I am scared, angry, guilty, the works. My boss keeps telling me how easy everything is but my thoughts are so jumbled up when I am under stress and I am REALLY struggling at work. I had 3 phone calls from my wife today, she was in tears and ranting. She said HMRC sent us a letter saying we owe £2000 and they threatened to send the bailiffs around. Fortunately we have the money in the savings account to pay but my wife didn't know how to transfer it over. I rang the hospital today because my CPAP machine is broken and they put me through to a nice nurse who asked me to hold on whilst she got a phone number. I sat there for about 15 minutes when someone else picked up the phone, asked who I was etc. The first nurse got called away on an emergency. She is ringing me back - when I don't know. I can't use the mask as a clip is broken. To be fair I've not used it for ages and its not healthy as I have sleep apnoea. I am still recovering from a horrible sickness bug... my wife and daughter have had a day off work/school. I have an interview on Monday ... had to use up half a day of holiday for it... they SAY they are going to send me an email with information about an assignment they want me to complete over the weekend, and I've chased it but the email hasn't come through yet. Its a pain but for programming jobs they generally want that. Pity its at such short notice - I am busy on Saturday. I am hoping the interview will go well on Monday but they will have technical tests and I bet it will be tough. I have to come straight from work so I won't have any time to relax beforehand, although it will only be a 4 hour shift at work. I am drinking vodka at the moment. I can't have too much as I have to drive tomorrow. I am just so stressed!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisgarrett Posted October 3, 2014 Report Share Posted October 3, 2014 wow man I am glad to see that Im not the only one who has night mare days...... Im a self employed builder as ive mentioned in previous post and yanno its pretty full on at times. people seem to expect you to create some kind of miricle or make there little life better whilst no one seems to give to monkies about yours.... The last five months have been hell for me.. alienating my wife family and friends living in little more that a garden shed dicovering I have serious personality traights being put on anti physcotic medication quetiapine only 50mg at the mo going up to 100mg p/d going through therapist and pdoc jesus christ it all gets a bit much at times. and of course whilst going through all that and hearing my oldest boy ( 4 in nov ) saying daddy I want you to come home and trying to carry on running a business kinda gets ya down yanno... KEEP IT UP BUDDY. if ya need a shoulder or ear to vent feel free. life sucks at times but as long as you have people who care its all good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 3, 2014 Report Share Posted October 3, 2014 Aw Data, here's a hug for you. I'm sorry work is so difficult for you, and for Chris too. Your boss is probably not helping your stress by telling you that everything is simple. I'd hate that, for sure, it would make me all pissy-jumpy. I hope you can make your sleeping mask repaired too as it's important that you wear it to avoid future cardiovascular diseases, although it's true that I don't know how it's difficult to sleep with it. I'm currently trying to go back to my professional studies, though I still don't know toward what domain to go. How was your day today? Hopefully the Monday interview will go really well. I'm crossing all fingers for you. Good luck, dear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted October 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2014 wow man I am glad to see that Im not the only one who has night mare days...... Im a self employed builder as ive mentioned in previous post and yanno its pretty full on at times. people seem to expect you to create some kind of miricle or make there little life better whilst no one seems to give to monkies about yours.... The last five months have been hell for me.. alienating my wife family and friends living in little more that a garden shed dicovering I have serious personality traights being put on anti physcotic medication quetiapine only 50mg at the mo going up to 100mg p/d going through therapist and pdoc jesus christ it all gets a bit much at times. and of course whilst going through all that and hearing my oldest boy ( 4 in nov ) saying daddy I want you to come home and trying to carry on running a business kinda gets ya down yanno... KEEP IT UP BUDDY. if ya need a shoulder or ear to vent feel free. life sucks at times but as long as you have people who care its all good I bet you have lots of tough days as a builder when jobs don't go well. I used to take quetiapine, it is good for helping you sleep I found. Therapy is the way forward though, Thanks for your support Chirs. Aw Data, here's a hug for you. I'm sorry work is so difficult for you, and for Chris too. Your boss is probably not helping your stress by telling you that everything is simple. I'd hate that, for sure, it would make me all pissy-jumpy. I hope you can make your sleeping mask repaired too as it's important that you wear it to avoid future cardiovascular diseases, although it's true that I don't know how it's difficult to sleep with it. I'm currently trying to go back to my professional studies, though I still don't know toward what domain to go. How was your day today? Hopefully the Monday interview will go really well. I'm crossing all fingers for you. Good luck, dear. Thanks Threemoons. The nurse hasn't rang back about the CPAP mask, I'm going to ring her again on Monday after the job interview. It can be very difficult to sleep with; its anxiety-provoking and uncomfortable. A mixed day today. Some progress at work because my supervisor had to take over one of my tasks because I've been struggling with it for AGES. He did it in about half a day. I think it would probably have taken me a month, if I could do it at all. The job interview people have set me a project over the weekend; the programming doesn't look too difficult but they have given me a lot of prompts about advanced questions I may be asked around the program, I have to spend probably 4-8 hours on it. I kinda resent it but I'm going to make an effort and do it and see how I get on. I have cancelled tomorrow's 6 mile walk with the walking club I run. I had 19 people signed up for it, but the forecast is heavy rain all day. Its the first time that I've cancelled a walk with my group. Some people texted me to say they were disappointed but I can't please everyone! Also I could do with the time to do the project. To be honest I'd rather have done the walk though, I look forward to it all week and I am disappointed too . My wife is upset this evening. My son has had a bad day at school and an even worse day at Cubs. He is on the verge of being thrown out of the scout movement! Its all a bit overwhelming and I'm finishing off a bottle of wine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisgarrett Posted October 4, 2014 Report Share Posted October 4, 2014 Chin up matey.... it seems clear to me that you your wife and your son all seem to have had bad days. but the main thing is your all venting to various people. Its not the fact you have bad days its all about what you do to make them a little better and talking as your said is good yeah..... my wifes away doing some bar (barrister) training from thursday morning just gone until tonight (sat ) so ive had to look after the children back in our family home. I dont mind doing thins but its a little draining between work etc. I popped into tesco yesterday and bought something fo rmy teat last night and sat happily and scoffed that whilst consuming three cans of carlsberg and watching tv. then boshed me tablets and hit the sack.... its saturday morning now and I have a day with the kids agains. wife comes home tonight weather looks ok so may take them to the park or out for the day somewhere where they can exhaust them self... hopefully my eldest will stay in bed a little longer tomorrow and not have me up at 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 4, 2014 Report Share Posted October 4, 2014 Hugs to you two. I hope the next days will be better. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted October 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 Today has been shit. Friday's breakthrough at work turned out to not work - my boss said he had solved some problems last week, then he went away on holiday. Apparently he will come back off holiday temporarily if we need him. I may need that help. I think he says he has fixed something, and he has not. He has failed. Its ok for HIM to do that, but for ME to fail is not ok. Hypocrites . The job interview was not good. Half a day's annual leave and most of my weekend spent on it, and I failed again. My wife is upset because she went to a meeting today with an advisor who suggested that our (autistic) son may need more help and may need anti-anxiety medication. He is 10. I am drinking heavily, and feel like I am only just coping . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 7, 2014 Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 I'm sorry, Data. Big hugs to you. It must be hard with all this stress on your shoulders. Please be safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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