addy2 Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 I had therapy today or so I thought but apparently it was yesterday and she looked at me like I had two heads as if were are you going an she was waiting for some sort of explanation, she said I discharged you, because you didn't turn up yesterday I was like I thought it was today she said no it was yesterday she said I've sent out your discharge letter so I was like ok then she said I'll give you an appt for three weeks time if you come. Now, last week I told this woman stuff I have never told anyone. She had been threatening to ask me to leave as I was unstable anyway so I opened up as to why in unstable she was having a meeting and said she wanted to keep me on, I had filled in the part two in the breaking free workbook triggering stuff that I carried about incase someone found the book and I miss one appt and I'm out, I said no Thankyou, you can stick it, I ripped up the letter and her appt card and said thanks for your time and left. I feel so let down and hurt my partner says he's glad so obviously he's glad I'm left on my own to suffer. My panic attacks and anxiety are so bad now I can barely take my kids to school or lift them I actually broke down and cried today whilst waiting on them the panic was that bad what am I meant to do I really don't know anymore, I also ripped up the stuff in the work book I just don't know anymore :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 It sounds like you are really suffering addy2 . I am sorry the relationship has broken down with your therapist. Had you missed other appointments or was this the first one? It sounds harsh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted October 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 Thanks data, that's the worst thing this is the first one she said there are big waiting lists like that's not my problem. I probably wouldn't be so annoyed if I hadn't opened up to her. It's so extreme isn't it one missed appt I've been there since May and never missed one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 2 points first - if you had missed it 'on purpose' you are hardly likely to turn up the next day soo it seems pretty obvious it was a bloody mistake and she could have given you a call second - talk to PALS - and demand there is a review with all the people involve and you and your gp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distracted Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 Hugs addy, I'm sorry you've had such a difficult day. It sounds as if the woman is really harsh, personally I think it's despicable of her to discharge you. I hope you are ok xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 Addy...completely unreasonable...please take Walkers advice Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted October 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 That's what I thought walker but she looked me like I was playing some sort if game she didn't speak for ages just looked at me I was so confused there was no comment on how she made a mistake by reacting so quickly. I won't fight it walker I won't ask to be somewhere I'm not wanted she could have called like it was my first missed appt would she not have thought and the way I have been lately my heads all over the place would it not be obvious I could have forgotten or something. She has such little faith in me hasn't she. I thought of speaking to my gp about returning to psychoanalytical therapy I was there before and he said the door was open should I want to return, obviously I would have to be referred back but I don't know if it's worth it maybe I'm better of without them all I have lost all faith in them and even if I was sent back to her it's ruined now I know it sounds extreme but for me to trust and open up and her do that just ruined it for me xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distracted Posted October 2, 2014 Report Share Posted October 2, 2014 Hugs addy xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 3, 2014 Report Share Posted October 3, 2014 Lots of good and loving hugs to you, Addy. Please consider Walker's advice, your anxiety sounds unbearable and you need help with it. Plus your GP seems nice, he even said the door is wide open for you so what would you have to loose trying? Even if you broke down and cried, you're incredibly brave to still go for your kids, I believe I couldn't do that. There's still hope that the problem can be sorted in a few weeks if you ask for help. I'm with you in thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted October 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2014 Thankyou both of you, I rang my old social worker yesterday I didn't expect her to call back but she did I almost cried. I said I desperately needed to talk to someone who knew me she has emailed a psychotherapist I saw about 12yrs ago to see if I can be re referred I told her that even if I were to go back to the trauma therapist it's ruined now and I said she said I was too unstable anyway. I told her I really need to be able to do this on my own but I can't I can't get this under control I said to her I just want to leave them all but then I'm so scared to do that like now I just exist I don't live. She spoke for ages about my relationship with my mother and father. She also said she often thinks of me and misses me I told her to not worry that I wouldn't call again that I respect her boundaries she said she didn't think like that and not to worry about it. She is such a lovely person it breaks my heart but talking to her helped and she will let me know if the psychotherapist can take me on or not she said I also have the option of going back to the mh team as I'm under the psychosexual team at the minute. I spent all day in bed just hiding but at least I have other options now xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 3, 2014 Report Share Posted October 3, 2014 I'm pleased that you could talk with someone respectful and that it helped you. Keep holding on, even if I know it's hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted October 3, 2014 Report Share Posted October 3, 2014 so proud of you for fighting for yourself for making that call and beyond pleased that she called you back keep fighting addy you are right you need someone who knows and understands you we all do xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted October 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2014 Thanks I'm so glad I called her now I really needed someone who knew me. She also said she feels that therapy de skilled me I actually agree dbt undid any good that I ever learnt and that I would benefit more from support than anything. That's why it's so hard to start new relationships when the old ones were so good and the new ones aren't xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted October 3, 2014 Report Share Posted October 3, 2014 oh ffs why wont this bloody site paste yes addy indeed we totally understand how hard it is when the people you lose are so much better than the people that follow we are right there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted October 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2014 It's hard isn't it walker and so so sad I told her that as well just makes me feel so lost I think that's why I can't trust the new ones or settle with them I've lost faith in the whole way they do things xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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