maddy harper Posted October 15, 2014 Report Share Posted October 15, 2014 My voices have been issueing me with threats to kill all day! I dont like the violent stuf they coming out with. saying that they are gonna stop my heart. Shut my air way. Calling me a whore and a slut and stuf. Its really distressing me. aint been on the increased chlorpromazine for very long. Needs time to kick in more i think then they will hopefully shut the fuck up. All i want s some peace n my head but i aint getting it. meh and i dont wanna go and see a dock iether before someone suggests that. Just want someone to listen thats all. Thanks for taking the time to read this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 Woke up this morning and their still the same. violent. hopefully i wont have to go through this for to long. Their angry because my anti psychottics have been upped so they cant get through as much as they use to. When they get through how ever i pay for it big style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 16, 2014 Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 I hear you, Maddy. Voices can be such evil things. Mine also threaten and call me names. B inside is delighted to chase after them every day and night. As far as I'm aware, he doesn't need to sleep so he can chase nightmares too. Been a good hunter yesterday night. I hope you have something helping too, be it meds or distraction. Voices won't win over! Huge hug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 Thank god u understand three moons. Its nice to know i aint being driven crazy on my own. they have been really horible to me all day and i dont know why. I dont deserve it iether. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 16, 2014 Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 Of course you don't deserve it. I'm sorry they are so horrible with you. Is something helping at all? Take care dear Maddy, I send you big hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 The clonazepam is helping with the anxiety bit playing flute helps. Running the pigs helps. Posting here helps too. So i have a fiew distraction techniques that i use. Running the pigs is a really rewarding one. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 16, 2014 Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 Haha, I'd like to see them run! They, beautiful sweet creatures! Have a nice evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2014 Spike hops about the pen and does laps where as Chock just potters about the place. He is my little grandad piggy he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 Voices are so loud today. Feel really stressed out by them. i get no releef from them at present. Only been on the increased clorpromazine for a short time so it still has to build up in my system. i hear them n my sleep as well as my waking hours. I get no escape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 17, 2014 Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 Poor Maddy, they seem hard on you. I hope the clorpromazine will help soon. You said it prevent them from getting totally through so there's a hope. Hold on, my dear friend. Kuddos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 This morning i woke up to them telling me to set fire to all my instruments. They dont like live music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 Aw, they're so nasty to you. You've the right to play whenever you want or need it, they don't have a say in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 19, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2014 I have three nasty voices one of them is my mums voice. Shes done the most trauma to me at least thats what the psych dock said when i explained i heard my mums voice in my head. i have one nice one but shes scared of the nasty voices so she dont talk much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 19, 2014 Report Share Posted October 19, 2014 Ah, but at least she's there and she can help when she does talk. Have you tried saying her that it's safe to talk, that the others won't hurt her and that you can help each other? It would be great if you could have more of her and less of them, wouldn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 her name is sarah and shes ten. Shes been ten ever since i heard her. thats the part of me that wasnt aloud to grow up. Thats what the psych dock said. intresting eh? It would be nice to talk to her but the nasty voices scare her away. Its been ages since i heard her though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 20, 2014 Report Share Posted October 20, 2014 Nice to meet Sarah! My little one is stuck at child age too, it's interesting. She's a bit younger than Sarah though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 21, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 21, 2014 Thats intresting three moons. Do u have bpd to as well as hearing voices. sorry if my question is to personal. u dont have to answer or u can just tell me to move on from this subject Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 21, 2014 Report Share Posted October 21, 2014 No, I don't have BPD. I've a diagnosis of PTSD and psychosis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2014 Ooo what a mix. poor you. I have psycottic tendencies though as part of my bpd. Can be difficult sometimes. i have them when i relapps so i isnt psycottic all the time. I am on two anti psycottics to take every day. one is for my moods and the other one is for my voices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 22, 2014 Report Share Posted October 22, 2014 I'm on meds too, one antidepressant and one antipsychotic. I hear the voices even on them though, the only difference is that they're located further from me when on meds so they ain't so aggressive. It's my everyday. And I have the same problem as you, they speak to me even in my sleep. I had a nap this afternoon and heard a lot of strange dialogues. Thought it was the TV in my brother's room but he was not here. One was like a journalist's speech in English and he talked so fast that I could barely grab the words. From the little I caught, it was about murders and other morbid facts. Not a nice lullaby. Some are funny though, they're so random! One asked me to serve the table for six, and when I told her we were four, not six, she said go to the store then and buy yourself some eggs, maybe it's not too late. Lol, randomness! Then I fall asleep and dream about the situations the voices were describing. It's a weird experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2014 singing from the same hymn sheet three moons. My voices make me laugh sometimes but most of the time their nasty to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2014 singing from the same hymn sheet three moons. My voices make me laugh sometimes but most of the time their nasty to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2014 Woke up to my voices having a fight bitween them selvs. They wanted to drag me in to the argument but i told them i aint listening to them and they seem to be quieter which is good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted October 24, 2014 Report Share Posted October 24, 2014 Good that they listened to you. You showed them who's the boss! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 Voices goin mental this morning. Saying i dont deserve to live. Love or anything else thats nice. They making me feel sad..-meh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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