maddy harper Posted December 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 28, 2014 Struggling with the voices really bad today. They are saying i am worthless. A waste of time. a whore. Not worth bothering with. The list goes on n on. could hear them n my sleep saying all these things. Woke up crying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 28, 2014 Forgot to take my night dose of my anti psycottic last night as i was really tired and wanted a natural sleep. Lucky i dont do this too offen. I feel like shit cause the voices are being so horible to me today and its only just started. Meh! serves me right... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 28, 2014 I know why the voices have come back, i am stressing about goin back home and things getting worse again to the point of head banging. I hope this isnt the start of another relapse... I am scared! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 28, 2014 Had to take some prn to distract me from the voices. I worried i wont get any sleep tonight because the voices are so loud right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 Managed to get five hours of sleep last night as my voices kept coming in to my dreams. Thats not happened n ages! They havent shut up yet iether. Think today s gonna be a bad one where my voices are conserned. Thank god i am at my friends house or i would have started head banging again by now... They drive me up the fuckin wall!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 29, 2014 Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 I'm glad that being with your friend helps. When do you come back home? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 Sooner than i would like. *sy* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 think my voices meds need upping again. Great. Means i will be sleeping my life away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2014 I cant cope with this any more. Been crying on and off all day. i really dont wanna go back... As i will have nothing to distract me from the voices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2014 Had a really shit nights sleep cause the voices were so loud. Feeling really stressed. I dont like this one bit... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 30, 2014 Report Share Posted December 30, 2014 Maddy, can you take some time for relaxing techniques/meditation? I'm hoping it could reduce your stress a bit. Get yourself some nice treats like a warm bath with good smelling perfume or anything you'd like. If you think your meds need a review, you have to talk it with your doctor. Sleeping a lot is not nice but I guess it's better than stressing out/crying a lot, and it would be only temporary, just the time your body gets used to the new dosage. I send you love dear, my thoughts are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2014 What a nice reply three moons. Nice to know someone out There cares than just my friends in r l. Most of them dont really understand what i go through on a daily basis. Been cuddleing the pigs. They like that. not so keen on goin back in their cage when its cuddle time though. They dig their claws in to my jumper so i have to unhook them. Bless them. I would be lost with out them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2014 What a nice reply three moons. Nice to know someone out There cares than just my friends in r l. Most of them dont really understand what i go through on a daily basis. Been cuddleing the pigs. They like that. not so keen on goin back in their cage when its cuddle time though. They dig their claws in to my jumper so i have to unhook them. Bless them. I would be lost with out them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 30, 2014 Report Share Posted December 30, 2014 Aw, bless them, they love you so much they don't want to quit you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted December 31, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2014 i been woken up by screaming inside my head. I thought it was my friend at furst. Then i realised thatt it was internal. What the fuck is goin on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 1, 2015 the voices are telling me to cut my self again. I scared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 1, 2015 starting to get externals anall. Why wont they leave me the fuck alone?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted January 1, 2015 Report Share Posted January 1, 2015 Aw, giving you a big big hug, dear friend. Don't listen to them, they're just being nasty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 1, 2015 I have had to get my friend to hide all his sharps in case. I have never cut before i dont wanna start now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted January 1, 2015 Report Share Posted January 1, 2015 That's a responsible move Maddy, well done for keeping you safe. I hate what these voices do to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 1, 2015 They drive me mental... Thats a under statement Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 thanks voices for waking me up at half three uk time. *sy* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 i cant stand it when my voices want to talk to me but they talk backwords which is really annoying stupid and tiring cause i have to translate back in to english. no fuckin idea why they like doin that but it really unsettles me and they know it. Think they doin it to try wind me up and its working grrrrr! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2015 Had to take some prn to turn the volume on the voices down. Now i feel like a robot...great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted January 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2015 they woke me up again... I cant believe this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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