I Might Have A Difficult Decision In A Couple Of Days

[Data]

My job is insecure as I am doing a research project for an engineering company with just me on it, its a contract until June 2014 but if I can't get it to work they can finish me any time with a months notice. It has been incredibly stressful because I have been struggling to get things to work and I have conflicts with my supervisor. I come home stressed and in a bad mood and I overeat and binge drink, which is endangering my health.

However, there are good days. I think most of the difficulties will be at the start of the project. Its possible (but not guaranteed) that we are over most of the difficulties now. My supervisor said that we are climbing a mountain and he made a gesture with his hand to indicate we are about three-quarters of the way to the top. If the pain is behind me then it would be better to carry on since I will achieve my own personal success which I can be proud of. Its intellectually challenging and a good fit for my skills - I have a PhD in artificial intelligence. If this particular project succeeds then my work could make a massive difference to the company - and its not a small company!

I work on my own which I sometimes don't like and I often don't get on with my supervisor, this is the biggest cause of stress. But being on my own can work well if I am having a bad day - for work or personal reasons. I put my headphones in and listen to music and shut everything off and try and concentrate. The office environment is usually very quiet.

Another company wants to make me an offer. Its "bog standard" programming rather than research or artificial intelligence. I am worried that the work will not be as interesting as the sort of programming they do doesn't seem to feature much of the things I like. I like quite mathematical/logical programming, and I am concerned this other job could be a waste of my PhD skills. The programming looks quite easy but I think once I get into it I will find most of the challenging stuff is web applications development and I am not too keen on webby stuff.

The people seem nice, the office is nice and the commute is a bit better (its still 24 miles from my home though). Very little is written down, its all said verbally and acted on quickly, I'd prefer to see documents about things. And they are obsessed with keyboard shortcuts, whereas I am mostly mouse driven - it makes me slower but I prefer it that way. The money isn't much better than my current job.

The main difference is that they use "extreme programming". Their office is VERY social - probably too social for me. They do most of their programming in pairs and they have daily meetings. The office is very noisy and its all open-plan. I think I would find that distracting and the danger is that I am still stressed, but instead of it being that the project isn't going well it will be that I've had clashes with other team members. I find relationships difficult and I need to challenge myself on that but I think this office could be a step too far.

Anyway I have booked Thursday off work and I've agreed to spend the day at this new company, either doing programming or just observing. Then I'll have to make a decision.

I think my wife wants me to move to this new company since I am so unhappy at work at the moment. But I am inclined to think I should stay where I am, and see if it improves - I don't want to give up and let someone else take all the glory of what I have done.

There's no point in saying much more until I've spent the day there, and all I have lost is a day's annual leave, its worth it to see what the grass is like on the other side of the fence. The recruitment agency will be on my back for a quick decision, and I find making decisions hard!

[Threemoons]

I really don't know what I'd choose if I was in your shoes, Data. You seem to want to wait and see if things improve at your current work though. The only advise I can give you is to do what you'd like, not what someone else would like. You spend a huge time at work so it's important that you're a minimum at ease there. If you think that open-plan office is a bit too much for you it's an intuition. I'd say go to the new company and see what you feel during that day. I'm sorry I can't be of more help. Try to limit the effects of stress on your health and take good care.

[Data]

I really don't know what I'd choose if I was in your shoes, Data. You seem to want to wait and see if things improve at your current work though. The only advise I can give you is to do what you'd like, not what someone else would like. You spend a huge time at work so it's important that you're a minimum at ease there. If you think that open-plan office is a bit too much for you it's an intuition. I'd say go to the new company and see what you feel during that day. I'm sorry I can't be of more help. Try to limit the effects of stress on your health and take good care.

Good advice Threemoons - thats what I am going to do but its good to have some support

[Threemoons]

Of course! *Big big hug*

[lonelyheartemma]

I hope it goes well for you on Thursday Data. I think it's great you are going to spend a day there as that will give you an idea of how you would cope in the office and the social environment and you should also see a bit more of the kind of work they do there. I think observing/helping at the other workplace could make your decision easier as it's a bit of an unknown atm how you would cope there.

It's also great that you are three quarters of the way through the other project, I know it has been difficult and slow and stressful and you have had very little support in a job that might just be too much for one person so I'd like to say congratulations for that if that doesn't sound patronising. I think a lot of people in your position would have given up by now.

Maybe the new job would be a waste of your skills in that you are not using all the skills you have worked hard for but you could say also that a job where you aren't appreciated is a waste of your skills too.

[Data]

I hope it goes well for you on Thursday Data. I think it's great you are going to spend a day there as that will give you an idea of how you would cope in the office and the social environment and you should also see a bit more of the kind of work they do there. I think observing/helping at the other workplace could make your decision easier as it's a bit of an unknown atm how you would cope there.

It's also great that you are three quarters of the way through the other project, I know it has been difficult and slow and stressful and you have had very little support in a job that might just be too much for one person so I'd like to say congratulations for that if that doesn't sound patronising. I think a lot of people in your position would have given up by now.

Maybe the new job would be a waste of your skills in that you are not using all the skills you have worked hard for but you could say also that a job where you aren't appreciated is a waste of your skills too.

I am hoping the day will make the decision easier also.

You are a very supportive and kind person Emma.

[Data]

Interesting day today. I was paired up with two other developers, and got a chance to actually contribute something to their software. They made a real effort to make me a part of the team. At the end of the day I explained that I was not going to take up their offer of employment. They were very disappointed, and said some kind words to me.

I told them that I have chosen the insecurity of my current job, which brings with it a project which is my own, in which I could personally make a big difference to the whole company. I said if I walk away from that, I'll never know if I could have made it work.

I said that if things don't work out, then I'll just have to look around. The MD said no, if things don't work out, I should come back to them, even if it is months in the future .

The work there isn't exactly rocket science. They spend hours worrying about the order things appear in lists on a website. One guy couldn't understand that dividing something by 1.05 isn't the same as multiplying it by 0.95. I was bored by the afternoon. However, its nice to have a fallback option, and its nice to be appreciated. I am overwhelmed!

I have gained some tips from this company, some best practices I could use in my current employment. I may even divulge what has gone on to my supervisor/manager/director. I want them to know that I am there because I choose to be!

I have gained an appreciation of what I have. Yes its stressful, sometimes I feel I can't cope. But I do cope. And its really interesting, and I could make a real difference!

I found it positive, but emotionally demanding. I am not used to being told that I am talented, and that people want me .

[Threemoons]

Hey, great news, Data! I'm pleased that today went so well. You've chosen to stay and I hope you'll be rewarded for that, but at least you know you have another option now. Congratulations, you've done really well!

[lonelyheartemma]

I'm so glad your day with the other company went well. It sounds like it was perfect because it was a good experience and it enabled you to make a decision.

It really is so good they liked you and your work so much and that they understand why you decided not to work there. Maybe you will be able to work with them in future once your current project is finished, even if you don't it's a nice confidence boost which hopefully you will remember the next time your supervisor decides to be a **** and forgets how lucky he is to have you.