lonelyheartemma Posted November 3, 2014 Report Share Posted November 3, 2014 I wrote about this a bit in the crisis forum but I thought I'd post here too as I might get more replies. My parents think I should go into respite care for a bit which I'm okay with in theory but they don't know anything about it and neither do I. I think it would be really good to get away from home and live in a new environment with new people. I think the idea is that you become less independent in respite but I think I would be more independent as my parents wouldn't be there. I really hope they'll let me get involved with things like housework. I only really get to do that when my parents are away. Has anyone been in respite? What's it like? Was there anything you had to do while you were there? Can I take my laptop? (even if internet isn't allowed I would like to be able to write) Did you have the chance to do things like housework? Were there other patients there too? If I get there and discover the guy who used to stalk me or the guy who raped me is a patient there would I be allowed to leave? I know that every respite place will be different and maybe you won't want to go into much detail but I'll be grateful for any information you can give. I'm trying not to get too excited about it because it might not happen, there might be a really long wait and it might be really awful. But it's like I've got another bit of hope to cling onto. thank you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted November 3, 2014 Report Share Posted November 3, 2014 I wrote about this a bit in the crisis forum but I thought I'd post here too as I might get more replies. My parents think I should go into respite care for a bit which I'm okay with in theory but they don't know anything about it and neither do I. I think it would be really good to get away from home and live in a new environment with new people. I think the idea is that you become less independent in respite but I think I would be more independent as my parents wouldn't be there. I really hope they'll let me get involved with things like housework. I only really get to do that when my parents are away. Has anyone been in respite? I have not been in respite. I was a psychiatric inpatient but that was many years ago. I think more independence from your parents would be a good thing for you Emma. I went through some similar things myself when I was younger, I had a toxic relationship with my parents, I depended on them but the relationship wasn't doing me any good. Were there other patients there too? If I get there and discover the guy who used to stalk me or the guy who raped me is a patient there would I be allowed to leave? There will definitely be other patients as I can't image a rehab with just one person . I think you should get your own room though. Unless you are under a section, they cannot force you to stay. And they can only section you if you are a serious danger to yourself or others. Even if they did section you, nobody is going to lock you in with a rapist or a stalker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted November 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2014 thank you Data. I would prefer my own room. I didn't actually report the rapist or the stalker though so they might not officially have any record of them doing anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruffryder Posted November 3, 2014 Report Share Posted November 3, 2014 hey emma i dont know much about longer term respites but i have stayed at a place called the maytree. they are a respite centre for people that are suicidal but you can only stay there for four nights. it is free of charge however, and they were really helpfull . it was really relaxed there and i was allowed to do as little or as much as i wanted. i hope you are able to find a good one and have a good rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted November 3, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2014 thank you ruffryder, I'm glad you found it helpful. 4 nights doesn't sound very long but on the other hand I've never stayed away on my own for more than 3 nights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted November 8, 2014 Report Share Posted November 8, 2014 I used to stay in respite every six weeks for three to four days at a time during my worse time I also stayed there as an alternative to hospital and was there for three weeks once. The one I stayed in was like four houses all joined female one side male the other and at one end the long term stay patients. I had my own room but shared living room and kitchen food was made for me apart from breakfast and we could eat whatever we wanted in the house. There was an office in the middle which was staffed and three or four staff were on in the day and two at night, meds were locked in our rooms in a cabinet and TV had to go of about half 11 although some staff let me stay up later. A member of staff would sleep in the living room of each house should we need them. We could talk to them if we needed throughout the day but at night they preferred we stay in bed and checks are made every few hours. I liked it but I found it lonely and I didn't like sharing with strangers and men. A psychiatrist used to see me there when I was there as an alternative to hospital. If I was there on respite I could go home for a few hours although it was recommended that I stay I could go for walks but during alternative to hospital I wasn't allowed to leave and had to speak to the staff a lot more my therapist and social worker used to visit me there. It's good for a break Emma but very boring I had nothing to do. The staff wee lovely and I still know them now and on my stay in hospital in feb his yr a male nurse was working that I knew from there it really helped that he knew me. Did they say how long you can stay but at the end of the day it's up to you and as it's respite you can go home anytime you want xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted November 8, 2014 Report Share Posted November 8, 2014 Emma...I a bit confounded...respite for who?? You or your parents as your carers?? Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted November 9, 2014 Report Share Posted November 9, 2014 A bit harsh Steve IMO, I do a lot of caring for my mother and it is essential that people have a healthy amount of space from each other despite the the blood ties in their relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted November 9, 2014 Report Share Posted November 9, 2014 Sahara I don't understand. How have I caused offence?? I am confused as to what the reason for respite is. Depending on the answer to my question would follow info regarding respite. If respite is required by either party...obviously that is important and should be provided?? You will need to clear with me about what was in your opinion...harsh... Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted November 9, 2014 Report Share Posted November 9, 2014 There is not offense Steve that is incorrect. My opinion and this is my personal opinion, (not an argument) was your delivery of words came across harsher than the overall tone of topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted November 9, 2014 Report Share Posted November 9, 2014 Emma, I wanted to add that one of our older members Roses spent a period of her treatment in respite. I believe she said she found really helpful, but hard to leave her kids to go. I was trying to see if I could find some of her old posts on that one, but as you know there are tons to sift through. I would definitely go myself and an alternative to being in H. It is not offered where I live but I really wish it was. I think it sounds like a really good idea in for you. Do you know if they have particular healthy requirements like the TC did? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted November 9, 2014 Report Share Posted November 9, 2014 Thank you Sahara..obviously I did not mean to sound harsh Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted November 9, 2014 Report Share Posted November 9, 2014 Emma...I hope you don't feel my question was harsh in any way...and that you get the space you need Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted December 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2014 Haven't heard anything. All that's happened was I got referred back to the CMHT. I keep telling them I need to get away. I don't think they hear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted December 7, 2014 Report Share Posted December 7, 2014 Please insist if you really need a break. Tell them why you need it, tell them that you can't take it anymore. You could even say you intent to call a abuse helpline. Do you still intent to, by the way? I send you much courage and love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted December 11, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2014 I'm seeing the psychiatrist again after Christmas but she didn't seem to know much about respite. I don't know who I can ask. Only my mum can ask for respite and she spoke to so many different people about it she doesn't actually know who each person was. I've asked her to phone again but she hasn't done it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complex-lemon Posted December 12, 2014 Report Share Posted December 12, 2014 There are generally a few respite care homes which are nearly always very short term stays, possibly up to two or three weeks max. I have known two friends from my past use them occasionallly, ie both were incredibly unwell, but couldn't cope so they were looked after for a couple of weeks. I actually don't know Emma if they had to do anything like cook or clean though Emma - sorry .can't remember. Surely someone at CMHT should be in the know. I would be amazed if there wasn't. Also I guess it greatly depends on your location, ie village probably not reasonable sized town to city - I would be incredibly surprised if there was no respite care at all. I do have a friend who lives with his folks and I know his sister was looking to find a place for him in respite for a period, ire beneficial for him and also his folks too. Hope if this option is available for you and thought helpful for all concerned for brief period, that you can find some space to be yourself and gather your thoughts to being back in your favour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted December 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2014 Thank you complex-lemon. I was expecting it to be just a few days, 2 weeks sounds so good. The cooking and cleaning probably varies depending on where it is and how ill you are but thank you for trying to remember. I expect there are people at CMHT who are in the know but they do seem to be quite good at not giving me information :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complex-lemon Posted December 12, 2014 Report Share Posted December 12, 2014 Just a thought. Can you not google it. ie put your location and add respite care and see what comes up. May at least tell you that there is certain places nearby to your home. Hope you have had a better day today Emma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted December 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2014 It looks like it's all much too far away, for over 65s or involves carers coming to live with my while my parents are away But maybe my CMHT knows places that aren't advertised on the internet. If not, at least it looks like I'll be getting more professional support with moving out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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