Identity?

[drifting_cloud]

I don't know if this is in the right forum, excuse me if it isn't but I'm new here.

I know that a frail sense of self is something a lot of people with personality disorders struggle with, me as well. But...whenever I find something that I really like, like a hobby or a book or something, and I really get into it, I find that I get too protective of it. Like I want it to be only mine. And it's upsetting to me when other people around me then get into it because they've seen me do it. Sometimes I've been told that they do it because they think I'm "inspiring", or that my enthusiasm for whatever it is is "infectious". But even though I would probably be flattered by this if I were a healthy person, I hate it. I feel as though I've lost a bit of myself when they do this. As though people are tearing off bits of me that I can't get back. Like I'm trying so hard to build my sense of self, but I can't build it faster than other people can tear bits off for themselves, so it just seems hopeless. I can't seem to share things that other people would share happily with others. It's just too upsetting.

I'm sorry if this is garbled, I'm writing on my phone and I'm a bit upset. But does anyone understand this feeling?

[Threemoons]

Hello Drifting_Cloud, first let me welcome you. It's nice to meet new people here. I think you're in the appropriate forum so no worries.

I think I can understand the point you're making. It must be actually very upsetting putting all these effort to build an identity and then people are "stealing" it from you. Like you said, you can try to see this as an honor to have inspired people. In fact I think they're validating your new identity traits by copying them, it's like they say "Hey, this person has a really cool personality, it inspires me to become like him/her." So I think they're not really tearing parts off of you but rather adding something from themselves to you. You could use this phenomenon as a mirror to judge what identity traits are working and what aren't. Really, it's no more than a validation of your efforts, a positive signals that says you succeeded.

[drifting_cloud]

Thanks Threemoons, you understood exactly what I meant. It's a bit hard to understand it as a compliment when all it's ever felt like before now is a personal loss, almost like something dying. But I feel a bit better for knowing someone else "got" me, and I'll remember what you said next time it happens :)

[Threemoons]

I'm glad that you feel a bit better. If I can do anything more, just ask me, alright? Take care, dear.