funnybrokenfool Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 Hey all, newbie here. I'm Hayley. I'm 25, a personal carer for my grandmother, and a writer - apparently. I've suffered with depression most of my life (from about 13) diagnosed with clinical depression at 17, and again at various ages. Was told I had anxiety as well at 24. A few months ago I was diagnosed with bpd, slowly coming to terms with it. Kind of. I'm here because I have never felt lonlier. Everything is coming to a head. My moods have gone awol, my depression has gone through the roof and my anxiety is becoming increasingly difficult to cope with. Unfortunately, the few friends I have are pulling away, a new friend just separated from me with no word, and my family simply don't have a clue. So yeah, sorry about the information dump, I hate the whole introduce yourself thing lol, always feel like i say too much or not enough >< Also, >< is my favorite smiley/emoticon/random-punctuation-marks-to-convey-facial-expression. It's my squishy face, I have no other way to describe it. It is not an angry face like Facebook and others would lead you to belive. So yeah, hey everyone *waves* Edit: totally rambled, my bad :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratherin Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 Hi Hayley welcome to the forum! you sound unsure if you are a writer? hehe Are you receiving or seeking any treatment for bpd? I started mine about 9 weeks ago, could be helpful for you ! I also have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression as well as bpd, so I can understand some of those feelings you must be having, how are you feeling today? don't worry you didn't ramble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funnybrokenfool Posted November 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 I do wonder, I don't write as often as I should lol. I'm in therapy at the moment, though it doesn't seem to be having much of an affect, early days though. I'm not on meds or anything like that, though she suggested antidepressants. Today I'm just plain fed up. Thank you for the welcome :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickle59 Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 (((funnybrokenfool)))...........Hello and a huge welcome..............The great thing I have found since coming to this forum is that people do understand...........this has been my experience............I guess it takes one to know one, and there is something very comforting in this..............I hope you will like it here...............I just want to say too,that I was very struck, that even with all your struggles, that you are caring for your grandmother.............this, sounded beautiful to me.............I hope your therapy will eventually bear fruit...............Ive certainly found it has taken time, quite a lot of time, to really feel the benefits for myself............I hope you will stick with it..................I did eventually have to go on anti-depressants, though I resisted for as long as I could..............It's good you don't have to take them, cos they aren't a cure in themselves.............I hope not to stay on mine, but for the moment, they have proven to be of help over a really difficult period in therapy and my depression...........Looking forward to seeing and hearing your writings more here..............like ((((Ratherin))))............I too smiled at you expressing about being a writer..........apparently .....Pickles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funnybrokenfool Posted November 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 Hello, and thank you for the welcome I already feel a little better than I did yesterday, simply because I've been able to chat to people, makes it all seem a little less lonely. I'm hoping the Therapy helps, or at least teaches me better coping methods, It's taken me a while to get any help other than pills from GP's. I won't be giving it up anytime soon, I don't think! It is looking like I'll have to try anti-depressants, even if it's only as a crutch, just to take the edge off. This s generally a bad time of year for me anyway, so I'm glad I actually have somewhere to come when it all gets a little too much. Thanks again for the Welcome, both of you. I feel all accepted and that's a big damn thing to feel so thank you. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickle59 Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 (((funnybrokenfool)))........>< face sounds very endearing.........and really pleased to hear that you already feel a little better.....and accepted............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funnybrokenfool Posted November 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny1471 Posted November 28, 2014 Report Share Posted November 28, 2014 Hello and welcome to the forum. I'm glad that you felt able to introduce yourself and I don't think there is a right or wrong with regards how much to share, but I just hope it helped for you to write. I also hope you find this forum helpful.. I'm sorry to hear of what you're going through and of your friend recently withdrawing. It sounds difficult and I think a >< is justified! I look forward to seeing you around the forum Jenny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threemoons Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 Hi, warm welcome to the forums. I hope you can feel at ease here. If we can do anything to make you more comfortable, be sure to let us know! It's hard when so called friends pull away from ourselves, the truth is that mental health problems scare a lot of people. Family have generally good intentions but unless you've lived it you don't truly know what it feels. That's why I find this forum really great, people here live and understand what we go through. What do you write? I'm an enthusiastic reader so I'm naturally curious about the subject. We have a creative corner where our members can post poems and art pieces if they want, thought you'd be interested to know. Anyway, it's always nice to welcome a newcomer. I'm looking forward to your next posts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funnybrokenfool Posted December 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2014 Ah, people replied. I'm sorry to have taken so long to get back to you. >< Well, the girl in question was also a bpd sufferer. She promised she'd help me out if I needed and then she withdrew. Not sure if I did something to make her uncomfortable. Last time I spoke to her we were making plans to meet up, and the she deleted me off Facebook, so... I dunno. It hurts, but I'm trying to consider that she may have had reasons that I just don't know about. I write fiction, usually fantasy of some sort. I'm working on a couple of novels that I hope to get published one day but that's not going to be for a while yet lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted December 1, 2014 Report Share Posted December 1, 2014 Hi Hayley. I am impressed that you write fiction, I wish I was creative. I am glad you are in therapy. It might not be having much of an effect at the moment, but in the long term its the way forward. Welcome to the forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funnybrokenfool Posted December 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2014 Thanks Data for the welcome and the compliment! I'm keeping an open mind about therapy, hopefully it'll improve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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